Doing what you love and loving what you do
by CrushedCoppelia
Summary: -WAKING UP IN VEGAS SEQUEL- I had never thought that relationships could be so hard, I was fine just having fun. But that was until McFly came into my world with their weird, famous world. Nothing is the same after falling in lov- LIKE, dammit!
1. 0

_Welcome to the sequel of Waking up in Vegas. I know I didn´t post the last chapter yet, but.................. maybe is because it's hard to let go of Danny and Maggie!! They're too cute to do that._

_But on the good side, this story has at least 60 pages already written, so it's going to be a fast update IF you review. No one reviews me anymore, I feel left out! I need cookies TT_

_Anyway, here you have. New girl, new McFly boy... see if you find out who XD_

_Love!!!!_

_XOXO_

_**Odd**  
_

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Prologue**

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Location: _Somewhere on the road._

Mood:_ What do you think?!_

Music:_ Blood blasting my ears._

Remember the dream job I was talking about two weeks ago?

Well, it isn't. It sucks, actually. As in really really sucks.

I'm tired of gigs already, and of stupid _pop start_ believing they're more than everyone else. As if they're not just B's replacement! Stupid asshole.

And the nerve of the guy! You should see him parading around the backstage naming the girl's he shagged and the fans he think are hot and how he would made that girl with the pennant work his _stick_. Really, it's disgusting.

But I think he only does that to annoy me. And it works.

Take yesterday, for example. I was just sitting backstage on top of one of the useless speakers, with my laptop on my legs, finishing my last article for their book, when the shows ends its first part. I was _just_ sitting there, innocently, minding my own business!

And then he came jumping, like he was high (and I'm not sure he was not), and _hold me up_, crashing me to his chest. His completely-wet-with-smelly-sweat-shirt-clad chest.

It was oh so funny for him watching me fight down and yelled he stink, so he just kept laughing and laughing at me, and when I decided to stop and get him to drop me nicely, I realized his hand was right between my legs in my inner tight and the other dangerously close to my breasts.

I squealed and HE smirked, crashing me to the speaker and getting between my legs with his hands on my butt, pressing me to him. And I can tell, he was _hard_.

"What do you say, huh?" He winked, licking his lips.

"That you should let me go or I'm going to write a nasty article about you trying to rape little girls." I announced.

He smirked, leaning toward me and biting my lower lip slowly. I was only saved by his band mate, grabbing his arms and hitting his neck. "Leave the girl alone! We're back in stage in four!" The newly arrived said, and winked at me. "Good job with the last file." He said.

"Please, kill him with a bang." I pleaded with D.

The other asshole smirked. "I could bang you if you want."

See?

See what I have to endure?!

This sucks.

Fletch, I hate you.

And you, Mike? I hate you too.

Saying goodbye

A very annoyed _**TNA**_


	2. 1

**I**

Sometimes, I think witches really exist.

No, really.

I swear I do.

Like… when you know you _put_ your keys on the table, but despites how much you look and look, they never appear? Witches. Or freaky poltergeist working for the witches, anyway.

Or when you feel someone staring at your back, but you only have a wall on your back?

Witches! … Or stalker.

Anyway! I'm going off the point. Sorry.

First of all, I should introduce myself.

Hi! I'm Tallulah McKoy, I'm 21 years old, tall when I wear heels, but not a midget without them, with long red hair that curls somewhere around my ears, and the other thing I love about me are my legs. They long, lean and… well, if you go by Mark's words (who is my ex boyfriend, mind you), too sexy to wear skirts with if I don´t want to cause mayhem. I'm proud of them, and that's why I love to wear shorts. However, I don´t like my belly too much, or my arms. I'm not a skinny bitch, and I always had a thing with that. Being fat, I mean. So I hate bikinis, for example.

I'm a drop out of collage, where I was studying sports journalism while I was working on a mechanic's shop. I met my last three ex's there, which I think it's why they didn´t last. I'm so not blaming it on me and my patron to get bored easily. And I met a cute blonde boy and his brunette friend too, who, after some time of chatting trough IM and SMS and phone calls –becoming two of my best friends in the world, and yes I know I trust people too easily when it's about friendship-, offered me the job of a lifetime.

Well… at least that's how they put it.

I was going to be the wonderful reporter for the new tour of the band Blondie was managing and Brunette-y was photographing, a pretty big band for what I heard. And it seemed great, I swear; I was going to write a _book_, **I** was going to write a book about them. What else would a girl studying for reporter want, right? Full pay jet set life of some sort, great money… oh, and yeah, I had to leave school. But I could deal with that, seriously.

And it wasn´t something really hard to do, because I wasn´t really comfortable with university. So I accepted without really thinking, and found myself behind the tour of pop band extraordinaire McFly.

It was fun, and I got used to it quickly. I mean, there were some things I wasn´t used to, and some things I really didn´t like –like following to their interviews and keep it all in my mind so I could write about it later-. But I could deal with it.

I could deal with everything, actually. From Danny's thickness, to Harry's pervert antics, to Tom act all lovey-dovey with his fiancée, to Dougie's Guitar Hero, to Maggie, Danny's wife, trying to cook. Everything.

Well…

Everything except _this_.

I squealed when I felt something slid past my thighs.

"Tall, are you ok?!" Dougie, who was in front of me, asked scared. I could almost feel _his_ smirk from behind. I swear I could.

"That wasn´t a ghost." Harry, Asshole extraordinaire said from my back, putting his hands on my waist.

"Yvette!" I exclaimed. Everyone had stopped with my squeal, so I slapped hard his hand out of me and moved past some cameramen and Danny and Dougie to the front of the line, trying not to touch the dirty walls of an ancient dungeon.

I'm sure you're wondering where the hell I was that had a dungeons and _ghosts _in. Well… you should know by now. Doesn't _Yvette_ tell you enough?

Don´t tell me you don´t know Yvette Fielding! You are deranged. She's that weird lady of Ghost Hunting. Does it ring the bell now?

Well, then where do you think I would be, huh?

Just fucking GHOST HUNTING!!

And not only with perfect boy number one (who is Harry, if you were wondering, and I say it with as much sarcasm as you can mustered in a word) and the whole McFly, but Busted too. Some… pop bands glory revival or so.

And me, who wasn´t a pop star at all. I didn´t have the slightest clue what the hell I was doing there, but they had forced me to go –they being Mike and Fletch-. It was part of the tour (a blatant lie) and I needed to experienced it myself to explain it. Or that was their excuse, anyway. When I said I didn´t need to get in the stage to write, Fletch and Mike, Blondie and Brunette-y Extraordinaire, just smirked and nodded.

_Fuck__. I should learn to keep my mind shut_.

"What's wrong? Do you want to go to the cab?" Yvette's calm voice said to me. I glared at her. I so wasn´t a coward like this supposedly _men_!

"No!" I snapped. "I want to go in the front. Can I?"

"Of course." She said, probably excited someone accepted her invitations apart from Danny. I walked briskly trough the hallway, the dark space of rocks on the dungeons of the Leap Castle. We were in the hidden dungeon now, and it was quite a scary place with the lights on. We kept walking until Yvette thought it was good to stop.

"Tallulah, do you want to make contact?"

I picture me, and my finger, touching with E.T.'s long bonny finger and I snickered. "Sure, why not?"

"Because the ghost it's going to get turned on by you and then he's going to take you to his cubicle and rape you?" Harry offered from the back.

I glared at the dark. "Don´t blame the poor ghost of your desires. Isn't he the one who attacked viciously if provoked?" I said to no one in particular. Then, I turned to the boy holding the camera that had just being pointing a little low of my head. "This gets edit, right?"

He nodded, but I was sure his eyes were on my legs. _Great! I'm surrounded by perverts!_

"Can anybody hear me?" I said out loud, surprising everyone. Nothing happened. "If you hear me, please knock!" I exclaimed. Again, nothing happened. "Come on! _Please_?" I asked. James Bourne laughed in the back. "He's laughing at you, I swear!"

Then, the most scaring thing happened.

I saw Harry's face without make-up on.

…

Fine.

Well, no, not that.

But a loud knock in front of us, and then silence. I knew for sure there was nothing right in front of us but a wall. And instead of being scared, I was thrilled. I wanted to _see_. I took one step toward the noise, but stopped as soon as it started again.

"It wasn´t at you!" James exclaimed suddenly, and I couldn´t help but burst out laughing. What the hell?! I laughed so hard I tried to get my balance by grabbing the wall, but I didn´t reach it and I ended up falling on my butt.

Believe me, it's not a pretty thing to have your butt (and your really tiny lace thong) completely wet with god knows what and your legs too because you're wearing shorts.

"KYAAA. Take them off, take them off!!!" I yelled when I feel something moving trough the thin cloth of my jean shorts. Some of them started to yell when I did it. And that made me yelled harder.

Until someone yanked me off the floor and into a pair of strong, fit, muscular arms.

"Oh." I said when my head bumped into his.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked really near my ear. I felt goose bumps over my arms and a thrilling sensation all over my body.

_What the hell?_

I wasn´t supposed to have _thrills_ over Harry.

"Yeah…"

When I looked up toward Yvette, wondering how the hell Harry had walked to me so fast, since now he was standing in the front with me on his arms, I saw her trying hard not to laugh. Surely I was a mess and I was going to be on you-tube like this… Funny how the thing it mattered to me the most was my hair and not whose arms I was on.

"Well, Tallulah here did her first contact." Yvette chirped. "Are you ready to go on?"

I was starting to hate her, really.

She took us to the ballroom and made us sat on the floor. Yvette explained what was going to happened now. She was going to take us in groups and make us stay all by ourselves on some of the places in the castle, and make us wait for some time.

"I'm taking Matt and Danny first." Yvette announced, and both boys went behind her saying her farewells. She left us alone with the three cameramen that were going to go with each group.

"I swear, if she wants to take me to the ubliete, I'm going to ran away to the other side." James announced in a low voice. He was cute. Did I mention that? Yeap, cute. We had talked a lot while we wait for everything to start, and he was also funny. Not the kind of member of a boy band I thought they would be.

Cool.

"It's oubliette." I corrected. It was easier to do that than to actually think on what was going on.

… I know I could have found a way to get away of this, really, I could. But it was the perfect excuse to get away of my own thoughts. I didn´t need to _cry_, right? Not again. It was stupid and once was more than enough for my own ego.

"Oh, shut up. It's your fault the ghost wants me dead." He stated, but his voice sound as if he was laughing inside.

I laughed.

Just so you know and you get some background, Harry hadn´t let go of me, and I was sitting between his legs, with his arms around my waist. I didn´t complain, though, because, actually this whole place was really spooky. And this way the only thing moving down my back would be his member and I'm not worried about it now.

"Where do you think she's taking us?" Dougie asked in a whisper. I had heard him muttering to himself _I don´t know why I'm here again, I don´t know why I'm here again, OH FUCK WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!_ before, so I knew he didn´t like this. I felt sorry for him.

Well… No, not really.

"Well… If we say Yvette took them to the oubliette, then we have the bloody chapel, the dungeons, and the dinner room." Charlie explained. I had had one too many psychology curses to know he was trying to act cool to cover what he was really feeling. Like me. Except I was so morbidly interested and curious for this things, it's not even funny.

"I'm not going to go to the dinner room." Tom said.

"Why not?" I asked, moving a little out of Harry's arms. I was starting to feel uncomfortable because million of people in the entire world were going to see that. "I mean, " I added when everyone looked at me as if I was more than stupid. "- it's a cool place. So many possibilities of seeing ghost…"

"I'm not going with you either." James and Tom said at the same time.

"Oh, grew a pair. I'm going to ask her to take me _alone_, since you're so chicken to go there." I said like a bratty kid. I smirked.

"Asked her that, and when we get a corpse instead of your hot body, then I'm going to _laugh_." James nodded.

"You would get a body anyway. But… Does that mean you think I'm _hot_?" I asked with intension. He looked surprised until he realized his mistake.

"I meant warm! Warm body. As in, already cold and dead." He corrected.

"Fine, fine." I grinned. That was when Yvette came, and took Dougie and James first, and, some minutes later, Charlie and Tom, leaving me, poor, poor me, and pervert, pervert Harry alone. Yvette went for us a while later. We started walking trough the castle, all through it toward the Chapel. But she didn´t stopped there, and dragged us to the oubliette. Harry was tense, but, in fact, I was worst than him. But I had never being able to accept I could be scare of things. I had to _pretend_. Yvette leaved us there, saying she was coming for us in less than twenty minutes, and abandoned us without light.

We stayed in silence for so long, I started to get anxious, and I moved toward the place I thought Harry was.

I found the wall.

"Ouch!" I complained, falling back from the strong force with which I hit it. He caught me, or at least that's what I supposed.

"Are you ok?" He asked smirking. "Why do you keep falling? It's your way of saying you're in love with me?"

"No!" I yelled. Right after that, a knock silenced us. I was so scared I didn´t think, and I hugged Harry.

Slowly, he put his arms around my waist, putting me to him. He was shaking too. "It's ok…"

We sat on the floor where it wasn´t wet, and made up conversation to not hear the noises. We were next to each other, practically crashed together, and the noises continued. Like chains against the door or the floor, and wind. When I was starting to think they were letting us here far too long, I heard him.

"I'm scared." He confessed.

Harry, not the ghost.

"I'm scared too… And I really would like to see Mister Ghost here."

Harry laughed softly. "You're something else."

"Come on, aren't you interested? Is he big, short? Mister Ghost?" I laughed.

And then…

I'm never going to be sure what the hell that was, but someone or _something_ whispered back to us. "It's Teige O'Carroll, actually."

We didn´t think much.

We started yelling and we ran away of that place, passing in front of a surprised Yvette, but we didn´t stopped until we reached the cab. And then I collapsed.

Of laughter.

"That was amazing!!" I yelled, rolling over the grass. It was just so funny.

But it didn´t finished. I was still needed to get inside the cab, get filmed, and talked about my experience. I would love to know how that's in my contract, because I'm quite sure it wasn´t stipulated. And besides, what should I say? _"You know… I kinda freaked out there, by ourselves, but Harry was quite good, and I think I'm having a thing for him?_". Yeah right.

Not that I'm having a thing for him, but that sounds like something I could totally say.

The man inside the cab, the shrink, I don´t remember his name, talked to all the boys, while they laughed out loud and joked as if they weren't scared the psycho ghost from downstairs would kill them or eat them.

HAH!

I almost snorted when James said he was just a little scared. He glared at me, but instead, arched an eyebrow quite sexily and smirked. "Well, _I_ wasn´t the one with something to _entertain_ myself." He said with full intension. My glare was worst than his.

After a while, Yvette announced we were going to our next stage, and we went to the buses of the show. I grabbed my laptop and started updating my blog with stupid stories about this and that. I couldn´t say the boys' real names because I wasn´t that much of a bitch, but instead, I called them D, T, Do, and H. And the Busted boys were now J, C and M. When you see it like that, they're even cooler than McFly in their initials.

Next place to visit was St. Michan's Church, the only parish church in Dublin north of the River Liffey. It was a place I had always wanted to go to, but never had the chance. Yvette paired us up again in our way to the vaults under the church, and as we approached the long narrow galleries containing the coffins trough a dark stone stairway, I didn´t hesitate in graving Dougie's, the boy at my side, hand in mine.

The galleries stretched before us, and the coffins in display were a spooky sight. Dougie was too scared for his own good.

"It would be ok." I assured him, nodding. "Come on." We were on the back, and Yvette has guided us to one of the open galleries, to see the gruesome remains of two women and two men in open coffins, covered with dirt and dust. I turned around, still with Dougie's hand on mine. It was so… horror-movie-esque.

In the other galleries, and all trough the place were coffins scattered haphazardly, bursting at the seams with an arm or a leg sticking out.

"Are you scare, baby?" Harry said in a really low voice to me from behind me. I decided to ignore him, hearing weird noises and some whispering. I was getting scared, more than before, and it didn´t help the sight in front of us.

Three of the coffins laid in a row, a woman, a man without a hand and with both feet cut off, and a nun. I was so curious, thinking of how the nun would have ended next to someone who was either a thief, or not really cared for by the one burring him. Yvette explained that the coffin along the rear wall was known as that of the Crusader, and he had his body cut in half so he would fit into the coffin. He had one of his hands lifted in the air, right next to where I was standing, with Doug at my other side. I wanted to touch it, to see how it felt, but didn´t reached it.

Instead, someone intertwined their fingers with mine. For a moment, I thought the Crusader had waked up and choose his bride, and I was going to be need in the Averno to marry him.

Until I realized it was just Harry.

But he didn´t even looked at me or made any motion of what he was doing. He kept facing the front, with Charlie at his side, and the only thing he did was take one step behind, so our hands would be hide from others. It was something so Harry-esque…

This time, we didn´t experienced nothing except for the murmuring and the sounds of things being dragged across the floor.

We got inside the buses again after the mandatory talk with the shrink, and this time, we went to London. It was dark by now, and I was really tired. But I couldn´t sleep (only the little less than two hours against James' shoulder, with Dougie's head on my lap in the back of the bus where we were supposing to be playing poker). I felt Harry's eyes on me even when I was _sleeping_, and it made me… anxious. It was more than clear he wanted me in a pure sexual way. But the way he looked at me since that time in the backstage of their concert… He looked at me as Edward… No, no Edward. He looked at me as _James_ would look at Bella. From Twilight. As if he was going to eat her whole.

The last stop was a London Ghost Walk, with the one and only, Richard Jones. I had read almost all of his books, and I loved him. That had being the thought keeping me able to endure the whole day.

"I'm going to meet Richard Jones, I'm going to meet Richard Jones." I chirped as I walked out of the bus. The boys mocked me, but I just ignored them, resisting the sudden urge to hug the man wearing a black cloak in front of me.

_Richard Jones…_

_OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD…_

_Ok, stalker-y fan girl enough._

"I'm your biggest fan." I blurted out, laughing softly when he looked at me surprised.

"It's always great to meet a pretty fan." He joked. I had Harry at my back right there, glaring at Richard Jones.

He couldn´t say a thing because Yvette interrupted us as the filming started with an introduction. Then we walked to the Blackfriars Underground Station. But I was too thrilled by Richard Jones to actually care about what we were doing. Jack the Ripper, Dick Turpin, Shakespeare, the Pendle Witches, the Witch Finder General Matthew Hokins… Every single one of them went past me without scaring me. I was bewitched by the story-telling of this man. We walked past the House of Detention in Clerkenwell, the Clink Prison Museum in Shouthwark ad the Viaduct Tavern on Newgate Street. It was fantastic.

When it ended, I wanted more. I think I was the only one. Dougie, James and Tom had decided they wanted to get in the cad faster than the real tour, and soon after our third hearing of weird things and Danny getting touched by _something_, he followed them. So in the end there was only Yvette, Richard, Harry, Charlie, Matt and me.

I was so happy I skipped back to the cab.

"Ok, you're crazy." James stated, and I just smiled.

"Probably." I joked, sticking my tongue out at him. "And you're only talking 'cause you're a _chicken_!" I laughed. "I'm going to dress like a witch and haunt your dreams!" I stated, jumping like the Witches in Macbeth without caring I was not only being filmed, but also stared at by a somewhat large audience.

"I wouldn't mind having you haunting _my_ dreams." Guess who said!

"Well, too bad. **I**_ do_ mind."

Yvette asked us to get inside the cab (I don´t have the foggiest how did they manage to get us all inside it… Maybe it was like the bag of Mary Poppins?), and did the last interview. Then the producer took us to the one of the alleys were Jack the Ripper had killed prostitutes, and asked out opinions about the whole deal one by one. This time, I didn´t care to be filmed, and I smiled all the time, talking about how much I was scared, but how much I loved and how much of a great story-teller Richard Jones was and just how much I would love to do it again.

And then, we were finished.

I didn´t go too far when I had James and Harry attached to me.

"What do you say, huh?" James started, acting sexily.

"About what?" I wondered, ignoring his arms on my shoulders and Harry's arms on my waist. Seriously, these two were really horny. Maybe they took Viagra instead of their happy emo pills this morning?

"You, us, together…" Harry purred. I admit it this time, it did turn me on. But I blame to my asshole of an ex boyfriend for leaving me last week. Can you tell me what kind of a bloody excuse is _I think I have… herpes!_? When I know he doesn´t!! Bastard.

I pretend to think it carefully, and then smirked at both of them, licking my lips sensually.

And then I started to sing. "Double, double toil and trouble. Fire burn, and cauldron bubble. Double, double toil and trouble, something wicked this way comes!" I said, and then pushed them apart and started jumping in circles, and running like the witches in the play. I kept on singing, ignoring the weird glances, skipping and jumping and dancing.

"Why again did Fletch hired a crazy woman?" Danny asked, tilting his head to the side, watching me. I only smirked and sang lauder.

"I know why." Charlie stated with shinny eyes full of mischief. I sang a little softly just to hear his explication. "Because she's hot and couldn´t say no! I mean, look at her legs! If she keeps jumping like that, you might see her-… Hey!!!"

I stopped grinning, right-shoe-less.

Because I had threw it to his head with perfect aim.

Hehe.

"Were you saying?" I smirked.

"Cat, you're a shrew." James said, pointing at me with a finger.

"Go find a sidekick, _James_. Like Robert Ford."

"Are you calling me Jesse James?"

"Nope. I'm saying that you're nuts." I smirked. And I know it didn´t haven't much sense.

But… all in all.

It wasn´t a bad day. I didn´t think about what I didn´t want to think about.

Maybe I can start to like this a little more.

Or at least not want to kill them for being such a guys every once in a while.

Like… once a week?

…

Yeah, that's perfect.

* * *

_**So.... A little more clearer now?? Hehehe. **_

_**I like this chapter, I don´t know why because it's not my best writing. But it's cute, right? Riiiiiiiiiight???**_

_**Next chapter up tomorrow, probably, if you all review a lot -and read my other stories! yeap, taht too XD-.**_

_**Thanks a lot to mcflygirl3 -**here you have, more and more for you!**-, Alexis Gage -**it's a little more clear now? Or I just confused everything more?? XD Oh! And I'm reading the first part of the trilogy, and today I'll review. It's really great!**-, Arizona Alexander -**Did I clear something?? Glad you like it!!!**-, Fletcher x -**Now I can tell D is Danny, actually hahahahaha**-, and PrincessJellyBabies -**Hopefully, now you can understand one of the first previews I sent! The one with the ghost, the witches and the dungeons XD**-. I love you all, you rock!!! And I'll give you all virtual oreos and blueberry pies because you deserve them!!**_

_**Oh! I just remembered.... I'm doing a one shot about Danny -all PrincessJellyBabies inspiration, actaully-, so if any of you wants to read the first part and tell me what you think, just send me your email, or an email to my email that's on my profile XD.  
**_

_**Love!!**_

_**XOXO**_

_**Odd  
**_


	3. 2

II

* * *

NEW POST from _**.Crazy Betty .Page* ______________________________________________________**__06:47_

Location: _Mike's bedroom._

Mood:_ Murderous_

Music:_ Mike's snores._

Ok, so I'm starting to think there's something wrong with my mind. No, seriously.

I mean… all this testosterone invading my personal space…

This week wasn't so bad, because M, D's beautiful wife, came to visit. The Argentinean beauty that only wears Converse and is even shorter than me. How can you be shorter than me, anyway?

So, the girl is really nice, even when she doesn't talk that much when she just meets you. Do said it was because her best friend, Astaire (what a cool name! –sorry, I had to say it-) isn't around. For the way he said it, I'm suspecting he has a thing for her –for M, not for A-. Which would be really bad since, well, she's married to his friend. I don't think he would cheat but you never know. And if he cheats, then D is going to find out and they're going to fight and then D is going to kill either M or Do, and he's going to go to jail, and the band it's going to not exist anymore and I'm going to be left alone with H and I'm going to kill myself.

Or worst, be jobless.

Anyway……

What I was saying?

Oh, yeah!

About M.

Yeah, she's nice. After almost an hour, we were like kindergarten friends forever. And god, D loves her. It's just so funny to see him looking at her. My exs never, NEVER, looked at me like that. It's the Argentinean gene? It is, right? They say Argentinean women are the most beautiful of the world, so maybe that. Unfair.

So I'm stuck with my Irish genes, my red hair, my more than pale skin, my freckled face and body and idiotic boyfriends.

Just great.

So…. Yesterday I saw Alex. My ex's older brother. And god he's yummy. And the perfect way to get even, but anyway….

He was parading around over Liverpool and I was parading around over Liverpool too while the boys were making an interview that I wasn't need to be in because it was going to go directly to the book. So I started a conversation with him out of thin blue, remembering how he had had a boner that last time he caught us (as in my ex and me) down by the pool. I swear, I'm stupid. Next time, I won't show the wonderful wonders of my mouth and tongue before _**HE**_ shows them first.

So I flirted with Alex, a _lot_, and it paid up at the end when he accepted his brother was an asshole and that he would have been better. I asked him to prove it, and we ended up getting laid on a hotel room. An expensive hotel room, mind you, because he's wealthy. And, just so you know and can book him in your Palm, he has great, amazing, fantastic, delusional, deliriously great tongue skills. He's certified by me!

After my great rendez-vous, I went back to the studio where the Boys were having the interview, and I saw H's eyes fixated to me.

Maybe it was because sex can be smell by sexually drive men!

Or maybe it was because I had still my cheeks flustered, my neck and exposed chest (which was a lot of chest) covered with recent hickeys and a reddish mark on my left leg where Alex had smacked me.

Did I mention I love dominant men in bed?

Anyway. H's eyes roamed trough my body to the point I almost felt ashamed and undress. And, yes, he was turned on.

I think…

I can't be positive, but I am quite sure.

He's a horny bastard, like the Caribbean, hot and steamy all day long.

…. No, wait. Somehow, that wasn't what I wanted to say.

He's like………… like…………………. I don't know, the handle of a broom, hard and… Well, you get the picture.

And if you didn't… too bad. Go back to high school or whatever because you are not prepared for real life.

Want to know the worst part?

He's starting to make me feel……………………. Well, the same way Alex made me feel when I first saw him. The same way Jacob (one of the top ten, really) made me feel when I was tanning in that beach over Port Angeles in USA. All in all, the same way every guy I wanted to shag senselessly for hours to no end made me feels.

Which is really bad.

I can't _want_ a guy from my job. It's bad.

Bad, bad, bad.

I need a new boyfriend, that's it. So I can get the thrills out of cheating the bastard more than in shagging H.

Kisses from

__ _________________________________________A girlfriend-available _**TNA**_

* * *

**_New chapter for all of you wanting an update. And since I'm feeling good -must be the chocolate ice-cream with my friends for Valentine's Day?-, I'm going to post the next chapter too. Am I great or what??? Expect it in a couple of minutes, really._**

**_Hope you like this._**

**_Love!!!_**

**_XOXO_**

**_Odd_**

* * *


	4. 3

**III**

"Girl, I want you to start wearing long, baggy jeans."

Let me introduce you to Mike Engel, brunette-y that got me this job with his friend Fletch. He's the photographer of the book _I'm_ going to write about the tour of McFly. He happens to be gay, and he's the second reason why I didn't ran away on the other direction.

…

No, wait!

He's the first!

The first!

… And only!!!

Oh…

…………. Forget what I said.

Anyway, when Mike approached me with that kind of order, I looked at him surprised. If I have some long baggy jean in my wardrobe it's because it belonged to an ex. And I just kept it as a pajama. Now, who would use pajamas daily?

He looked at me exasperated. "You're distracting everybody with those artifacts of hell!!"

"Are you talking about… _my legs_?" I wondered, arching an eyebrow.

… Ok, trying to arch an eyebrow. I never could. It's one of my many frustrations in life. And I looked like a retard when I try to do that.

"What else? Your tits? Of course I'm talking about your legs!"

"I don't have long baggy jeans unless they are the pair I kept from Shawn when I made him leave naked my house for cheating on me, and I'm so not going to wear them even when I do wear his boxers." I stated.

Mike looked perplexed for a second or two. "Girl, you have the worst taste in men." He said and I couldn't reply anything. He was right. I couldn't deny that, when…

Anyway. Back to the story.

So I wait for something else to be said. "Well, then, wear capris or something like that. When you show more over your knees, straight men tend to imagine the thigh and then upper than that, and that take them directly to think about penetration, friction, and, therefore, _sex_. And when men think of sex, they get distracted, aroused and horny. And _that_, my girl, it's only a good thing when it works **for** me, not _against_ me. I don't appreciate having almost everyone near me with a boner _I_ didn't cause."

I laughed, couldn't help it. He's crazy. "If you take me shopping, I'll wear that, and not my lovely shorts."

He nodded. "Promise it."

"Promised!" I nodded eagerly. Any excuse it's a great excuse for shopping with my super stylish buddy!

After that, I kept working on the book (I love to say it, did you notice?), fixing what I had so far. Which was next to nothing, except more than one declaration of Harry saying how much he would fuck me until I couldn't sit for months. His words, not mine. That, and some words from the rest of the band about the gigs and all. They were nice. Harry wasn't.

"Hey, Lula! What are you doing?"

I turned around and smiled at Maggie. Really, the girl was beautiful and it annoyed me she didn't even notice it! And she didn't have to try to look like that either. Maybe that's what happens when a boy like Danny looks at you like he looks at her, you glow, or something corny like that.

"Writing." I announced happily, but quickly left that to another time. Maybe I could get some juicy information here… "Did you suffer this much in your trip around the States?" I wondered.

She giggled. "Well… if you consider the fact we had only one bathroom and we practically never stayed in hotels… It was pretty hard. But if I survived that, I can survive anything now! Especially living with Danny." Maggie laughed.

"I can bet. I don't know what I would do if we never stayed in hotels."

_Probably sleep with Harry, now that I think about it_.

"Oh, you can survive, I promise. Worst case scenario, you would kill one of them, and as long as it's not Danny…"

We laughed.

"I think my first victim will be Mr. Hornypants himself."

"Harry, right?" I nodded. "He's not that bad when you know him."

"Or when you're married to his friend, therefore out of reach of his pervert hands." I grinned.

Maggie chuckled and nodded. "That can be a possibility, too. But… I think he _likes_ you." She stated. Two seconds later, she was laughing of my face.

"What's so funny?" Danny, appearing out of nowhere, asked his wife. Maggie stopped laughing to explain her husband just what was so funny. He was laughing too when he understood.

"Yeah, yeah. Keep mocking me. I don't care. Really. You're only going to create a mental trauma, but that's ok. It's not _your_ mental trauma. And there's psychiatrics too!" I said, a little too dramatically.

"You know? That way of…" Started Danny and I interrupted him.

"Being _ready to go_ the whole time?"

"_Staring_. It's actually suspicious. Maybe he does like you, girl." He said beamingly. He was high, I just knew it.

"He does not. I swear."

"How can you know?" The married couple said at the same time. Was it an obligation to be married? Synchrony?

"When you _like_ someone…" I started, but didn't know how the hell to end it. "He just doesn't!" I snapped, and stormed off with my laptop toward the balcony of Mike's room. His room was the biggest (don't know why, don't want to know) so everyone kept getting in and out the place.

I opened my blog, and started writing about the Ghost Hunting, and everything I could think of. Maggie, Dougie, Alex, cheating ex boyfriends, sex… and even Harry. When I posted the blog, Fletch called me from the hall, and dragged me to make some interviews to the working cast of the gigs. Part of the job, I guess. So I went, I didn't have much choice, and left my computer on the table.

It took me less than half an hour. I was quick when I wanted to.

…And that sound so wrong in so many ways…

Anyway.

When I opened the door to Mike's room…

I found him rocking the bed back and forth with his hips' movement against the butt of…

No, lying. You're gonna end up hating me, right? I can tell. I'm a witch, I know those things.

Anyway, I found Harry almost naked lying on the bed, with his lap top.

See? This is why he doesn't like me. He's gay and he's into…

_Oh fuck_.

I'm doomed.

Really.

I'm like the Penelope in that movie with Christina Ricci except I'm not cursed like that. I'm destined to die in a painful way, that too.

"That's my computer." I stated just for saying something. I was close to hyperventilation. He turned around with a knowing smirk, and sat down facing me with my computer over his (well toned and really sexy) legs.

"So." He said huskily. "You think I'm hot and… what was the other word?" He pretended to think about it, and then grabbed the computer and read it. "Oh, yeah. _Steamy_."

I glared at him, and made a move to grab my computer. But he had better reflexes than me, the clumsy stupid, and threw the computer to the floor with a swift movement to grab my waist, push me to the bed and get over me. He had his hands over my wrists at each side of my face, and my legs were pressed between his.

I blushed.

"You want me." He stated, not even caring about the politeness of ignoring that fact.

"And you were invading my privacy!" I complained. When I heard my voice I realized I had just admitted that.

_Stupid me_.

Harry nodded.

"And it's _obvious_ I want you too." He added, ignoring my comment and pressing his hips against mine so I could feel even more the reaction of his lower torso. "**I** want to shag you senselessly for hours to no end." He admitted.

"I just want you to let me go. Get off me!" I exclaimed, but with my moving for him to let me go I only got him more excited. Which… in turned, aroused _me_.

What?! I told you I like dominant men!

"You're a dirty little girl." Harry said, licking my earlobe.

"And what if I am?" I snapped, and contrary to what you probably are thinking… I said it on purpose. I was mad, ok? And… I was even madder because I wanted him to let me go and at the same time… not.

"I like dirty little girls." He grinned, leaning closer to me. "I particularly like punishing dirty little girl. Do you like to be punished?" Harry asked all too seriously, rubbing my leg in the exact same place where Alex had smacked me before. I almost moaned.

"It depends on the punisher." I stated. I talked seductively, putting my arms around his neck after getting him to let me go. I moved my face up toward his, and licked his lower lip. And then I pushed him out of me. And grinned. "But you're not that appealing." I fixed my clothes, as Harry rolled down on the bed in frustration. "Bye, babe." I said, waving at him and closing the door behind me.

Right about there, I jumped inside again.

Ok… you need to know this. I'm what you could call _promiscuous_, in some way. I have as many boyfriends as Paris Hilton, Drew Barrymore, and Mike together, but the difference is… I never end it well. And I'm always the one with the heart broken in a proverbial way, and they're always the ones with the car broken, the arm broken, the leg broken, the piano broken (I did that once, bloody soloist)… You get the drift. So I'm sure you can understand it's never a good jolly day whenever I meet my exs.

And right there, in his all tall, dark and handsome glory, there was my ex ex. Not Alex brother, but the one before him. The one I broke up because of his extremely jealous ways. And the same that from time to time sent me creepy emails about how much he loved me and how much he wanted to fuck and all. You get the picture.

Harry looked at me surprised that I interrupted his wallow of self-pity.

"What?" He demanded. I kinda ignored him, peeking through the little-y open door.

"Um… Hi, Harry, didn't know you were in here." I said casually, in a low tone.

_Please, make Jared go away…_

"Damn hell you didn't." He stated.

"Oh, fuck!" I exclaimed when I saw Jared getting to Mike (they had known each other after we had broke up, and Jared was convinced he was my boyfriend) screaming. It was actually quite scary that the boy was able to reach this close. What if he was a crazy fan? …. And he was, in some way. Except not the boys'.

I turned around abruptly when I realized he was coming this way, thinking in ways to hide myself. I hadn't realized, however, that Harry had stood up and went to me with a worried expression on his face. And I moved so abruptly that I ended up hitting him full force and collapsing to the floor at the same time that the door opened.

As cliché as it may sound…

I ended up on top of Harry, with my legs at each side of his hips. It all happened in less than half a second. I tried to get up before realizing there was no way out, the door finally collapsing with the door, my skirt lifting to my stomach… and my right foot just in between the door and the wall.

There's only one word left to say:

Ouch.

And I said it.

Well… I actually yelled it. High pitched voice, teary eyes, hurt expression, the whole deal.

"You motherfucker!!!" I yelled, clutching Harry's shirt to ease up the pain. It didn't work.

"So you're the one fucking my girl?!" Jared demanded to know. Mike got inside really quickly, probably hearing my yell of pain, and pushed past Jared.

"Are you ok, baby? Did Harry try to rape you?" He asked me. I couldn't talk by the pain.

"She's not your girl, stupid." Harry snorted, with his hands on my waist to sit on the floor. When he saw I winced, he moved the hands to my butt to keep any kind move close to none. "What hurts?"

I ignored his hand on my butt, because, actually, it gave something to think about more than my poor foot. I whined and pointed to my right leg. I don't know how, but Harry moved of his current position without actually moving me, and the hold me up bridal style.

"Look what you did!" He snapped to Jared, who looked kinda pale.

"Pumpkin? Are you alright?" He asked, almost desperately.

"What do you think?" I hissed. "Go away, I don't want to see you."

"But-!"

"You heard the girl, get away!" Mike ordered. Jared looked him over, sizing him, comparing him to himself. It was clearer who would win, so he snorted and mocked him cruelly.

Mike glared at him, and with a swift karate move, took Jared to the floor rather painfully. I couldn't help but smirk at the picture. Mike dragged my ex out of the room, calling security, and disappeared with them. He was such a sucker for uniformed men.

Suddenly, I yelped with pain.

"Why did you do that?!!" I exclaimed, glaring at Harry, who had moved my foot a little too roughly.

"I wanted to see if it was broken, _Pumpkin_. It's not, so it's probably just a sprain. I'm taking you to the hospital, ok?"

I nodded. "Thanks."

Harry smiled.

"But don't ever call me Pumpkin capitalized or not again." I ordered.

He smiled widely as he took me out of the room and toward the lobby. The boy opening the doors looked surprised, but after a quick order from Harry, he ran to get his car. Less than two minutes later, we were inside the car, driving down the streets of Liverpool toward the closest hospital. I was sitting on the passenger seat, and he had my leg carefully against the car's dashboard.

I looked at him a little surprised of Careful Harry, and noticed he was mightily recognizable. So I grabbed a hat I saw on the floor and put it on his head, and then started to look for a pair of glasses. Or a mask, actually. It would be the Phantom of the Opera taking care of me! That would be really cool.

Harry laughed. "It's ok. I'm going to take you straight with a friend, so there's not much to worry… But thanks. I like having your hands on me without trying to emasculate me." He grinned. I smacked him, of course. "Hey! You're pretty ok for a cripple!"

"I'm not a cripple! I can still kick your butt." I stated, turning around so I wouldn't be facing him. But I still noticed the smirk.

Harry parked the car in the hospital two or so minutes later. "Well… You can walk, right? You said you're not a cripple. I trust you." He said with malicious delight, and got out the car. He started walking away.

Damn me if I was going to ask for his help! I was so not going to! Much less _beg_. He was out of his mind.

I opened the door, got my right leg down the dashboard, the left out of the car, and I grabbed with all my might the door. Magically I didn't fall, and I was standing next to the car. I grinned appreciably to myself. _Good job, girl. Now you only have to…_

I spoke too fast.

When I tried to take my second step (the first one I did it jumping a little) I fell flat on my ass with a little cried of pain.

Harry held me up before I could even opened my eyes, that I had closed when I realized what was about to happen. "Stupid girl." He muttered, holding me to his back, giving me a piggy back. Even in my pained expression, I smiled widely. I loved piggy backs! "This way you can't move much." He explained getting inside the hospital and walking to the front desk. "Hi, I'm looking for Ashley Wilkes." He asked. I stared at his neck wide-eyed.

_What?_

He laughed. The woman behind the counter looked him up and down when he did so. She was the epitome of the kind of nurse you would expect in one of those pamphlets of hospital with the nurse with her finger in front of her hushing lips.

"Doctor Wilkes it's busy, right now. Do you want to- ?"

Harry interrupted her. "Look, I know that's what you have to say when he's shagging the blonde nurse while everyone thinks he's having dinner, so tell him it's an emergency. She has a very painful sprain on her feet…" Harry stopped talking and sighed. "You know what? I'll help myself in, thank you."

The nurse was just as shocked as myself to react, and when she did it, the elevator doors were closing.

"That was fun." Harry grinned like a little child.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Does it really hurt?"

"… fine, don't answer." I accepted.

But he insisted. "Does it really hurt?"

We got out of the elevator on the third floor, and he walked through some corridors until he stopped in front of a white door reading PERSONAL ONLY. He knocked with all his force.

"I'm waiting for you on your office!!" He announced. "Leave Blondie now because I have an emergency here." Harry yelled, and then turned around right to the elevator again, and he pushed the fifth floor button, and then he asked me again. "Cupcake, does it really hurt?"

"Don't call me Cupcake."

"So you're not mute. Does it hurt?"

"Yeah, it damn hurts." I obliged.

"Good. It wasn't so difficult, now, was it?" Harry smirked. I saw it on his reflex. We got out of the elevator when it stopped and he took me to an office near the windows of the other side. He opened the door just like that and got inside. Harry leaved me over the examining couch with care not to make me move my foot. Carefully, he took off my red Converses, and my knee-high socks, slowly, sliding it along with his fingers down my skin.

It gave me shivers and I wanted to have his hands lower and lower… or upper and upper…

Harry stopped with a hand over my knee and the other over the couch once he took off my sock. I didn't know when it happened, but I leaned to him, wanting more of his touch. He grinned.

"See?" He said. "You can be a good doll, Cupcake. When you want to. Guess now I learn how to get to you."

Harry leaned toward me, and pressed his lips to mine in a strong and harsh kiss. I loved it. But didn't show it. Partially because the door opened and a very flustered man entered. He was fixing his clothes and his hair, glaring at Harry.

"So I can't get laid but you do? What's the emergency? Don't tell me it's the same again?"

"No, it's not, _Ashley_. She sprained her feet." Harry said, pointing to me, and moving over.

The man looked at me. "Is she your girlfriend?"

"No!"

"I want to shag her, but she doesn't let me."

"What a shocker." Ashley Wilkes said with sarcasm. He walked to me. "I'm Doctor Ashley Wilkes. But please, do as everyone else in the world except this asshole, and call me Andrew."

"I knew you weren't an idiotic sissy like the Ashley of the book." I stated happily. Her mom must be a bitch to name her son like that.

"Smart girl. Don't let Juddy here convince you, ok, girl?" Andrew smirked, pointing at Harry as he started examining my foot. It didn't hurt that much, and his cold hands felt good. "What happened? It's a pretty strange strain…"

"Someone opened the door on it."

"Someone?" He wondered, looking at my feet critically, muttering things to himself like _calcaneo-fibular ligament, fuck that must hurt! _Or_… so there's a moderate amount of swelling but none obvious in the inside. This is good_. "Was it him? You just tell me and I kick his butt."

"She's more than capable of doing that herself, mind you. And I didn't do anything. Why it's always me, anyway?" Harry demanded, crossing his arms and sitting behind me in the examining couch.

"Because it normally is." Andrew winked at me. "Tell me if it hurts." He asked, moving my foot to point it into an almost full plantar flexion. It hurt more where he was touching than the move. "This is good. None osteo-chondral damage. Which means there's minimal bruising of the inside of the ankle joint. It's not going to take long to heal." He stated. "So… if it wasn't this man, who was?"

I didn't reply. What was I going to say? My psycho ex? An Asshole? A retarded subnormal Australopithecus?

"Her asshole of a psycho ex." Harry said for me.

"Oh?" Andrew looked confused. "And what was he doing there?"

"Haven't the foggiest. But he's crazy." I accepted.

"Ok. Wait here, I'm going to look for a wheelchair. Hold that thought." Andrew disappeared after that, leaving me with Harry.

_Oh, god_.

"Does he do these things often?" He asked.

"Spraining my ankle? No."

"No, Cupcake. Stalking you, making scenes, attempting to hit your… currents or whatever?"

"… Only if he finds me before Lee gives him a piece of his mind." I gleamed.

Lee was my first boyfriend, the one I learned everything from and with, the one that knew every single spot on my body and the one I shagged every once in a while when there was no one near.

"He usually just tries to talk to me and convince me to get back together."

"Well, he's not going to talk to you anymore." Harry stated, putting one hand on my shoulder and the other on my lower back, pressing a little. I liked it, very much. His hands there, I mean.

I closed my eyes and leaned toward him. "Are you going to kill him?"

"Probably. Would you mind?"

"Not particularly… It hurts." I said softly as Harry moved his hand from my lower back to my waist.

"I know, Cupcake. I used to have a lot of this… calca-whatever things on my left ankle."

"I never had a strain. I was a sprain girl. My mother never understood I was as clumsy as a penguin with one foot, and she kept sending me to ballet until I screamed I was going to kill her if she kept sending me there." I laughed at the memory of my eight-years-old self with her little fishnets in pink and a big The Beatles sweater, with a doll in her hands, screaming that.

Harry's hand slid from my waist down my leg, and stopped in my inner thigh. I held my breath, as he drew carelessly patterns there.

"What are you doing?"

"Wandering. It was here that you got sprain a lot?"

I didn't know what he was going to do, so I nodded. "Yeah. All the grand jetés and all that shit."

"It hurt, right? Let me take away the pain." He grinned, moving his fingers expertly around the naked skin of my right leg. It turned me on.

Andrew opened the door but didn't spare a glance at us. "Here." He said, helping me get on the wheelchair. I glared at it, it almost gave me claustrophobia. "I'm going to take you to X-rays." He announced as he started pushing the chair out of the surgery. Andrew guided us to the X-rays place, and, since we were with the doctor, it took less than five minutes to have everything settle, and we were back in the surgery in fifteen minutes.

"Well, there's nothing abnormal here. Here's what you have to do. R.I.C.E."

"Are you talking about Anne? Or… don't tell me you're actually a zombie?!" I exclaimed.

Both boys sighed at the same time.

"Rest, ice, compression and elevation." They said.

"You have to stop activities which cause pain, to avoid the strain to become more serious. The ice's for the swelling. Never for more than 10-15 minutes at a time, every day. Use a layer of fabric or paper in between the ice and the injury to avoid freezing the skin. Wrap the ankle to reduce the swelling, and keep it as close to the level of the heart as you can. I'm going to give you ultrasounds and electrotherapy to help it heal faster, but you're going to be good in a week or two, and perfect in the third. Buy Ibuprofen and have one pill every six hours. Come see me the day after tomorrow, ok? Bring Juddy so they'll let you in." Andrew said. He gave me a glass of water, and a bluish pill and I drunk them. Then, he held out his hand out for me. I smiled and shook it.

"Thank you. And sorry for interrupting." I winked. It didn't hurt that much now.

Harry started pushing the wheelchair down the hallway, but stopped suddenly when we were some feet away of the elevator. I could feel his diabolical grin on my skin. I turned to look at him and interrogate him about our future destination, but I saw him _counting_ in mutterers.

I opened my mouth to speak, but I didn't quite manage to do it. Because next thing I know, Harry started running straight to the elevator, whose doors were close. _Fuck_. I closed my eyes, grabbing the wheelchair's armrest with all my might. But he kept _grinning_ like a mad man. It was kinda like the Joker's smile. That one you know it's only on his face because he's a psycho sadist.

I hoped for the best, forcing my life to go trough my eyes. Wasn't that supposed to happen when you were about to die? I tried to remember things of when I was little, or my first kiss, or my first all-night-long, or my first tequila. But I could only think of the stupid asshole behind me, standing in somewhere over the wheelchair. We were going to die together. I was supposed to die in a motorbike crash! Not by some stupid sociopath!

Suddenly, we stopped.

I was dead.

And…

_Oh_.

I was in heaven…

_That_ was a surprise.

No, really, it was.

I never believe in god and all that jazz, but I was sure that if said place like heaven and hell existed, I would much prefer hell. You know the worst sociopath and genocides were actually Catholics or believe in some other religion. And if god forgives all as they think he does, then they're going to go to heaven after some punishment. Therefore, I would much rather go to hell, with Galileo Galilei, rockstars, Syd Vicious, and all that, than go to heaven, where I could find Hitler having a drink with Mother Theresa.

But now that I actually _was_ in heaven… Hell, I wouldn't change it for nothing. Except maybe for Syd. Or River Phoenix… Maybe he was here somewhere?

Anyway, heaven felt… heavenly.

And in such a weird way it surprised me. It was great in a…. almost sexual way. I thought god was against promiscuity and all that. But there I was, feeling thrills all over my body, goose bumps, shudders, tingly sensations… everything you felt when a Greek god was… _kissing_ you.

If heaven felt like been kiss for the best kisser in the world, I was all for that.

I remembered Harry somewhere around the part where the proverbial kisser bitted my lower lip to part my lips open. Where was he, now? If _I _had died, and he was still alive, I was so going to go back to haunt him as a ghost. Seriously. This place wouldn't have a curfew, right? So I could take days and nights off haunting him and tormenting him.

But, no, really, where he was?

Because he had to be close.

Because I was smelling him. It couldn't be other smell than his sandal and mint after-shave, cinnamon tasted smell, and something inherently _**him**_. It was an intoxicating smell, in a good way. I loved it. Cinnamon is one of my favorite things in the world, like rain drops on roses and all that. And it is an aphrodisiac, too. What was there not to like?

And then… when the floor crashed against something and trembled a little, followed by a loud beep, I thought about opening my eyes.

And I wasn't dead.

At all.

And the proverbial kisser?

Yeah, not that much.

I hadn't realized when, but I had put my hands around his neck, while he had his on my waist, pulling me up a little as he leaned toward me.

_Kissing_ me.

We where still inside the elevator and the doors had just started opening. But I couldn't look anywhere else but him.

"Sorry!" Someone yelped behind us, laughing a little. We turned around to find some teenage boy with an old lady at his side. He was grinning, happy, and she was glaring at us.

"This is no place for that, children! It's disgusting!" She exclaimed, pointing at us a little angry. "Have you thought about how many germens are in there? And I'm just talking about the air, I don't even want to go to the germens the _wheelchair_ could have, and you boy are touching it like it's the end of the world. It's better to get a room, believe me. And you, pretty boy, don't you dare not pay for it! And make it expensive." She declared, turning around with her more than surprised supposedly grandson.

Harry and I stared at her just as shocked.

Until he spoke, with a knowing grin.

"Well… I happened to have a room in an expensive hotel…" He smirked.

* * *

**_As I promised, here you have the second chapter of the day. And it's a bloody long chapter, mind you, so you'll enjoy it until monday XD Or if I feel kind enough -or get many reviews-, maybe tomorrow. _**

**_Hopefully, you won´t hate Tallulah and her antics. She's good girl right... somewhere inside her!! I swear XD_**

**Arizona Alexander**: _Hehehe. Glad you like her, and hopefully you'll still like her now hahaha. Busted! A band that sadly is no more -.- McFly used to open the act for them XD. _

**_Well, Happy Valentine for all of you who like it. And to the ones who don´t.... do as they do in Japan and give chocolate ONLY to friends with a large note explainin about the goods of White Day. _**

**_Love!!!_**

**_XOXO_**

**_Odd_**


	5. 4

**IV**

I'm quite sure my life had just taken a new turn.

As in… trouble-induce, sick perspective, potentially painful turn.

I slept with Harry.

And god it was fantastic.

He was great.

He was… I don´t even have words to describe it.

Harry was even sexier naked than fully clothed. He was dominant, forceful and sensual. He was a teaser, but god, it paid _good_ to survive his teasing. His way of moving, of touching, of playing, of _licking_ was perfect. It was as if we knew each other since forever, as if we were made for each other.

We didn´t do it once, nor twice.

It was an all night long action, something that lasted until the third lights of the morning (in my dictionary, that means until 10 in the morning, at least). Harry Judd had definitely more stamina than _any_ other boy I have ever met. Including two porn stars, one CK model, four Burberrys, Dolce&Gabanna, Dior Homme and Jean-Paul Gautier models, one TV actor, two theatre actors, and a veterinarian.

Really.

Now it wasn't his ability to be horny all day long, but his ability to actually be working _all night _long.

He was my new sex idol.

"What the hell are you muttering?"

I opened my eyes when I heard his husky voice, his mouth trembling against the skin of the small of my back. I had my computer open in front of me, and we were lying in the floor, with the blankets and sheets scattered haphazardly around us. I looked at him and smirked, taking my eyes to the ceiling.

_Hum…_

_How did my bra ended up _there_?_

"I'm not muttering. I'm writing."

"Same damn thing." He shrugged, and he started to lick my back up to my shoulder. Harry put one leg on each side of my hips, and leaned over me, taking my hair off of my back. And yes, he was _really_ excited. All those rumors about him and his body parts… He wasn´t little, let me tell you.

It wasn´t something you could not notice.

"I _love_ your freckles, Cupcake." He stated, sliding his hands under me to my chest.

"I like them too." I accepted. I wasn´t a redhead hating it. I love it.

"They're as tempting as strawberries with cream." He grinned when he realized the double meaning of his words. "And I love strawberries with cream." Harry said biting my shoulder hard.

"Do you think they'll make us some, if we ask?" I said absently, writing while he was making a clear attempt to get me to leave that.

…And thinking about it?

……_. What could be so important as to not oblige to this moment?_

However, I resisted temptation and kept writing.

"What it's this?" He said frustrated, leaning more over me so he could read my computer. It was set on Word, since I was fixing what I had done yesterday for the book. I was quite proud of it, which actually a very hard thing to achieve with me. "Oh, come on!" Harry snapped, pushing my laptop away, supporting his weight over his arms. "I'm trying to work my magic here, Cupcake. And you're not helping me in the slightest."

"And _I'm_ trying to work here. And _you_, darling, aren´t helping either." I said, trying to move, but he didn´t let me by pressing his hips more to my butt.

"Hey! Come and shag me, it's tempting sometimes!!" He exclaimed, making me laugh. He glared at me. "I won't mind doing it _my_ way, I swear."

"And what way that is, huh?" I asked with curiosity. I felt him tense to reach his bed-table and grabbed a condom. He put it on, and left his weight on one hand as the other went to raise my hips and butt. With one single swift move, he was inside me, moving slowly, maddeningly slow.

I suppressed a moan, burring my head on my crossed arms as he licked my bare back.

It was heaven (like being kiss on an elevator while you think you're dead, but better).

None of my ex boyfriends were like this. _**None**_. And that made me feel better inside, because that meant THE ASSHOLE hadn't had _that_, at least, from me. Maybe my dignity and my family, but not the best sex…. I know, I'm deranged.

It was so great and amazing, I didn´t hear **it** first.

It took me two seconds and a hard thrust back into reality.

Someone was knocking the door.

"Harry!" Mike yelled. "Harry, where the hell did you left Tallulah yesterday?! And get the hell out of bed, lazy ass! What are you doing there, anyway? Dying?"

"Fuck." Harry said, but I wasn't sure it was an expression like _bollocks_, or actually an answer to Mike's question, since he didn´t stop moving inside me.

"Is he talking about me as if I'm a doll?" I asked him in a low voice, biting my lip not to snickered out loud.

"Harry!! Please let me know if you're dying."

"I'm not!!" Harry snapped. "I'm shagging a really hot girl, so let me be!"

Mike went silent after that, while I giggled. Harry speeded up his pace, moving faster and deeper as he kissed my shoulder and my neck.

"Well, too bad. I need my little Ginger now."

"And what if I'm fucking her?"

Mike laughed. "You're not. She has bad taste."

"Hey." I complained.

Harry laughed. "She's sleeping. The asshole sprained her ankle and she passed out with the pain killers the doctor gave her. I didn´t know where her keys were, so I left her here."

Mysteriously enough, Mike accepted that excuse. "Fine. Let her sleep. I'll send room service so she'll eat something." He muttered to himself, and we heard him leaving.

Harry smiled maliciously. "I'm sure I can find something to feed you that's better than that."

He hadn't stop moving, and now I was trying hard not to hyperventilate. "Really?" I managed to say, while Harry started playing with my hair as he pushed my back down so I would raise my hips higher. He moaned with his hands on my butt, making his thrust harder.

"Yeah." Harry stated. Again, I could almost _hear_ his smirk.

This boy was just a miracle in all senses. I wondered if maybe everyone in the band was supposed to be gods at sex, seeing as he was one, Danny was known to be one, Mike was one too, and Fletch too. My naughty brain started picturing a threesome with the hottest McFly boys -being Harry and Dougie, if you must know- and that thought only took me to my orgasm.

Harry tightened his hold on my hips, moving faster. I moved to his rhythm, until I felt him release on me, and collapsed over my back. He hugged me closer to him, and we rolled so we were facing the ceiling.

"You…" He said between heavy panting. "… are amazing."

"I know, thanks." I laughed.

"And a lot nicer after a shag. Not to mention sexier, more sensual, prettier, hotter…"

"You're going to make me blush."

"But I don´t want that. I only want to arouse you, and flush you. Can I do that?" Harry laughed. I moved so was on top of him, with my legs at his sides. I shrugged, slowly moving to kiss his chin. I slid my lips down his neck, across his collarbone, his chest, licking his nipples, down his perfectly toned stomach, his six-pack, and even lower, until I was…

Well, you get what I was doing with my mouth.

Harry put his hand over my head, petting me as… well, a pet. As I made my movements over his length faster, his fingers clutched to my hair, moving my head up and down at his own speed.

This moment of completely letting loose it's one of my favorite things in the world. That's probably why I'm so given to give or receive blowjobs.

"God, yes…" He muttered when I took my lips away. Harry glared at me, and I smirked, kissing him.

"I think you're stamina is starting to get down." I commented. He was about to do something (probably throwing me to the wall and fuck me senseless), but I put my mouth around his member again, sucking hard.

He didn´t need much.

I moved away with a sadistic smile on my lips. Harry sat up next to me, watching me.

"You know we can't stay here all day… right?" I wondered. Seeing it in his eyes. That idea.

Harry grinned. "Why not?" He said, crawling to me. He pushed me to the bed, making me sit over it while he was on the floor. "If you're my slave, I can be your pet every once in a while."

Harry's hands forced my legs opened and he started to kiss my inner thighs, slowly making his way up.

And again, we were interrupted by a door knocking. Fuck!

"Who the hell is?!" Harry snapped.

Someone cleared its throat behind the door. "Um… Room service?"

"Sorry." Harry grabbed one of the sheets on the floor and threw it at me, making me stand up and putting it around my body like a Greek toga, helping me sit again. He then grabbed his boxers and put them on, opening the door.

The boy with our food was young, probably his first job ever, and blushed a little when he understood what had being going on inside the room. He blushed particularly at my bra hanging on the ventilator.

"Um… here's what… Mr. Mike sends you." He said, leaving the tray inside the room. Harry tossed him a fifty pounds bill, dismissing him, while I stared at the _food_.

_Oh, my_.

"He knows." I stated

"Well, if he didn´t realized I was shagging you it's because he's a retard." Harry stated, closing the door.

"No, not room service boy. _Mike_."

"And why do you think that, huh, Cupcake?"

"Well…" I pointed to the tray. There were strawberries covered in chocolate, fruits like passion fruit, bananas, mangos and cherries. Jasmine tea. Roses jam, chocolate, pain au chocolat…

"Sex food." I stated. Harry almost chocked with the strawberry he was eating.

"_What_? Sex food? Does that even exist? And if it does… why nobody ever told me that before?"

"Come on! It's a tray full of after-sex-when-you're-actually-planning-for-more-goes-and-endless-nights food! Aphrodisiacs."

"Was that something very difficult to say from the beginning?" He complained, sitting on the bed at my side after pushing the tray there. "I don´t see anything bad."

"I do!" I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest.

Harry looked surprised. "You do? Well, do tell."

"It's wrong to have affairs in your working place." I stated.

"Well, you don´t work _here_. It's a hotel."

"It's the same. It's even worst when your coworker happens to be a pop star followed constantly to the paparazzi. I don´t want to be on the tabloids more than I'm probably going to be after the show."

"It's fun, right? Then why don´t-?"

I interrupted him. "I'm going to look like a slut if this leaks!" I exclaimed, grabbing the plate with chocolate covered strawberries.

"Why's that?" He snickered, reaching to _**MY**_ plate of strawberries.

I found it annoying, particularly since he was trying to steal my strawberries, but I answered him nonetheless. "This is nothing serious, so when they realize I'm not anything close to your girlfriend, they're going to say I'm a cheap whore, wanting to bed you just for your fame."

Harry's expression changed for the slightest of seconds, and he looked… angry. And then it was gone. I probably just imagined it. "Well, then let's say you're my girlfriend. Who cares?"

"I do! I don´t want to be known as Harry Judd's girlfriend when I'm not. I don´t want to be known as one of the most famous boys' in the country girl when I'm…-!"

"Yeah, I forgot. _Looking for a boyfriend_." He said bitterly. I stopped my ranting.

"Well, yeah. I mean… you don´t want anything serious, and I don´t want anything serious either, so this is perfect. And you're great. But what about gossip, huh?" I stated, offering him my plate in a conciliatory move.

He accepted it, but he was angry, I could tell. "Sure." He said smiling, but it didn´t reach his eyes.

"What? Are you ok?"

I was starting to feel… _guilty_. About what, fucking Syd?!

"Isn´t this what every boy want? Sex with no strings attached? Because I really don´t mind. I'm not the clingy girl who expects a loving husband after every time she fucks someone."

"Well, you shouldn't think for others." He muttered, before pushing me to the bed and getting over me again, leaving the plate in the tray.

That time, he was even rougher and rasher than before. It was almost violent without really being it. It was so very sexy… but at the same time, it wasn´t. He was trying to make a statement about something I didn´t fully understand. He was forcing something to get to me, but I was too thick to notice.

I didn´t like the sensation, it was as if there was something missing. And it was my fault.

When we both came, at the same time, I rolled away of him, staring at the magnificent ceiling. Really, they should put prettier things in the ceiling, when one looks at it so much. Not a mirror, though, because I wouldn't like to be staring at Harry's bare back or at my pathetic face.

"I don´t like you very much right now." I said out of the blue.

He shrugged. "You don´t need to like me if we're just gonna have sex."

_Ok…_That_ he got it right_.

I huffed, and make a move to get away, but Harry stopped me.

"You can't walk, midget." He stated.

_So now we're over the Cupcake, right to the midget?_

"Too bad." I snorted, pushing his hand away of me and making a strong step to stand up. It hurt like hell, but I didn´t show it as I pretended. Once I reached his side of the bed, however, I couldn´t pretend anymore, and he stood up really quickly to hold me up.

"Stupid, stupid girl. What part of _you can't walk_ is the one you don't get?"

"Leave me alone, Harry Judd."

"I'll leave you alone when you do what the doctor said." He stated, letting me on the bed as he recollected all of my clothes. He grinned to himself when he found my bra and he had to jump to get it. It was quite funny, seeing him jumping like a stupid twit with absolutely nothing on.

And then, Harry proceeded to dress me himself.

Let me tell you, undressing? Nu-uh. Not so great.

_Dressing_, however, is way too underestimated.

This was one of the sexiest things I have ever experienced. His hands sliding _up_ my body with my underwear, or with my shorts, were something exciting. I was tempted to throw away all the clothes again.

But then I remembered I was supposed to be mad. _Why _I was mad, was a different thing altogether. And, thinking about it… _Why was I mad, anyway?_

"I'm going to bring you ice. Ok? Stay here." He ordered, turning around and leaving me there. Oh, great.

I slid down the bed trying not to use my leg to grab my computer, and I smiled proudly when I could get it back to bed with me. Technology was an excellent way to avoid thinking.

Harry was confusing. Did I mention that? Maybe he was an addict? That would explain a lot of things… Like the way he reacted to some things, or the way he acted as if he needed the whole thing _now_, instead of enjoying what he had at the moment.

He drove me up against the wall and then back to the floor. It was like hot and cold, except never cold, but hot in different, amazing, ways. It was like loosing your favorite toy in the fair you wanted to go so badly, and you had to decide what was best…

Ok, strange analogy.

But I never said I was good with analogies.

In fact, I don´t remember ever saying something about analogies to all of you…

Anyway… I was talking about Harry.

I liked him. I really did, I wouldn't have slept with him otherwise, but he was like a roller coaster with no brakes or someone operating it. Just you and him and that feeling of vertigo and adrenaline rush…

Ok, I don´t even know what I'm talking right now.

It doesn't have any sense.

Like Harry's mood changes.

That doesn't have sense either.

I should stop thinking about them, but… he is the edge of a building when you're about to jump down with a thin cord to get your fall.

And I felt like I was already falling…

* * *

**_Yeay, new chapter!_**

**_A little later than I promised, sorry._**

**_Enjoy!!!! Thanks to all of you who review, you're great!_**

**_Uh, and... does any good, generous, amazing person has any kind of news about McFly in Argentina????_**

**_Just curious XD_**

**_Love!!_**

**_XOXO_**


	6. 5

V

NEW POST from _**Crazy. Betty .Page***_____________________________________________ 14:38 hs_

Location: _A bedroom between hell and paradise_

Mood:_ Confused_

Music:_ My mind running on my mind._

I'm destined to die.

Really. If only for my incredible stupidness.

I slept with HIM. The one I have being avoiding the whole time since I started here? Well, the same. And the worst part? It was amazing, by far the best. I'm afraid I'm going to become one of those old ladies that had seen something paranormal on their youths, and after that can never forget it and are always talking about that. But with sex. That's how good he was. I'm going to compare every single boy I'll have after this with him. And I'm going to feel more than frustrated when I won´t find someone like him.

He is the best. Really, no one can be more perfect than him, because that would be illegal in so many countries and practically unfair. H is like a demigod. Anyone better than him, it's Paris –not Hilton, not the Greek boy, but the one that started the Troy's War- or someone like him. Which means that it's impossible.

So I still need a boyfriend. So I won´t obsess over him.

I don´t like the way he makes me feel.

It's like………… have you ever read a Harlequin Novel? Well, it was like that. That stupid feeling of… _perfection_, of peace in the world, of no troubles… Like completely relaxation and ecstasies.

_Fuck_… I'm stupid, am I not?

He can be sweet and nice and a gentleman and all that, bringing me ice, putting the cold wrap on my feet… and then he can be a _tiger_, full of lust, passion, sexiness… And the second after? He's a complete bastard, angry, ironic, almost cruel. Then he's back to be kind and sexy. But in the end he's again a bastard.

Either he has bipolar disorder, or I don´t know what.

I'm getting crazy here.

But… Not everything is bad in my life.

It seems J and I have the same exact tastes in a lot of things, like football or cars. And ice-cream.

He came today to see T today, but since he was out with his girl, and the other three were out doing god knows _what_, he decided to tag along with me while I watched The Office at the same time I wrote about yesterday's gig.

J is really funny, and smart and nice. We laughed a lot, inventing our own jokes about the show and all, just fooling around. I took the advantage of the situation and even asked him some things about his friends to put in the book, and, after answering, he asked about it, about the book. How did I work on it, who helped me, why was I not taking interviews the whole time… That kind of things. He's more curios than myself, and that's saying a lot.

Oh, and M came back today! I'm starting to really like this girl. She's cool; I can see why she married him. We decided to try some cultural bonding this time, and went to the wide world of Liverpool's center, laughing our asses off as we shared what each other and our countries thought about stupid things. Like, this slutty girl in a mini skirt flirting with almost everyone in the ice-cream parlor, M told me in Argentina would call her a _trola_. It sounds funny, and it means practically the same than slut or whore. Or, this really hot blonde boy standing by the bookstore, she said he was a _papuso_. I really like Spanish, and I learned it in school, but they don´t teach you the good things there, like this words. No, it has to be all prime and proper in school.

I know I wasn´t supposed to be walking (I didn´t even have my crutches with me), but try to stay four days in bed, having everyone treating you like a cripple and going so far as to feeding you. I needed to walk!

The past four days, I lived in Mike's room (fine, I stole it). And H was one of the best companions I had, especially because he made me forget I wasn´t able to moved my feet. But at the same, one of the worst, because he was bipolar, and all.

NOTE TO SELF:

Ask someone if he's in medication. I heard they're suicidal….

So, yesterday, H took me to the doctor again. As I expected, it wasn´t such a great deal. Andrew looked at me, then at my feet, back at me, and then at H. "She's been walking." He said. How did he know?!!! Really, how?!

It didn´t look worst than before to me!

So he ordered to stop using my foot completely, and told H to make sure I didn´t walk, not even to go to the bathroom. I glared at them, and I announced I was going to walk as much as I wanted, ready to do just that. But they laughed.

Can you believe it? _Laughed_. Where the hell are the gentlemen, huh? Because I don´t see them anywhere.

So, you know I didn´t do what Andrew told me. But what he (and H, and everyone else) doesn't know, won´t hurt him, right?

Good bye!

Kisses from

A bored _**TNA

* * *

**_

_**Hello again! Hopefully you hadn´t forgotten all about me, right? I've been trying to post this the entire week, and last week too, but I wasn´t able to log in TT Stupid Fanfiction didn´t want me to update this. So, tell me if you like or not, and I know it's short, so, sorry. Next chapter tomorrow, probably, if I don´t find the perfect name for a new story I'm writting to post it.**_

_**Love!!!!**_

_**XOXO**_

_**Odd.**_


	7. 6

**VI**

The door opened slowly, and James head popped in, peaking inside to see if I was either properly dress (if I wasn´t, then he wouldn´t have a head right now and all his fans are going to kill me) or to make sure I wasn´t sleeping like I had pretended to do the whole day because I wasn´t in the mood to talk.

But I didn´t mind if it was James.

I smiled at him, and indicated him to get in silently, so no one would know I was faking. Mike had come in some minutes ago, and I had even snored to get him out.

James sat at the edge of my bed, near my left foot. "Care to tell me why Snow White is pretending to be Sleeping Beauty?"

I smirked. "I was waiting for my prince. Since I'm not in a wood nor I have midgets around, I thought maybe if I fell asleep on a _castle_, my prince will come!" I laughed, following his game.

He laughed. "Oh, well. I can be your prince, if you want. But don't give me apples, please." James stated, posing on his place as Prince Phillip or someone like him. I laughed; it made me remember of James Marsden in Enchanted.

"Fine, no apple. Can it be watermelon instead?"

"I'm all for watermelon!" He stated, winking. James moved, passing over me, to sit at my side. "Does it hurt too much?" He wondered, looking at my foot. I looked at it carefully. It wasn´t so swollen anymore, and it was going back to its normal color. If I had done what the doctor said exactly, probably it would be a lot better.

"Not really. Except when I move it like this." I said, showing him with my hand.

"Want me to go and bring ice for it?"

"No, it's ok. Mike brought me ice some time ago. And please, don´t tell me you're going to act like them too!" I pleaded.

James laughed, pushing my shoulder. "I'm _so_ not." He did a very bad imitation of a teenage American girl to say it. "Come on, want to go for a walk?" He grinned. James has the cutest smile ever.

I nodded eagerly and smiled happily. "But, James, I'm not supposed to walk." I said.

Yeah, I know.

Big contradiction.

"Well, then. I guess I'll do the walking." He smirked, turning around. For a moment, I thought he was really going to leave me there to walk on his own and then come back and tell me how much he had walked or something like that. Instead, he offered me his back, motioning to me to climb to his back. "Get up, girl, I'm waiting."

I clapped like a little girl, managing to get on his back magically and putting my arms around his neck as he grabbed my legs to accommodate me.

"Ready?"

"Ready!"

He opened the door, and we went out of the bedroom. Mike, Danny, Maggie, Tom and Giovanna, Tom's girlfriend, were sitting around a table in the little living room talking and drinking tea. So very British of them. They all looked at me surprised.

"Weren´t you sleeping?" Mike asked glaring at me.

"I was, but he woke me up." I shrugged. James nodded.

"Exactly. Poor girl is going to die of inanition if you let her there any more time." He laughed.

"Don't make her walk." Tom said, like a fatherly figure.

"Oh, just adopt, will you?" I snapped jokingly, making Giovanna blushed. She was cool.

"He's pregnant. Why would he want to adopt?" Danny laughed.

"Hey! I'm not pregnant." Tom complained.

"Could have fooled me."

I turned around when I heard Harry's voice behind me. I had being avoiding him a little the last four days or so, and he was now glaring at me. _Oops, sorry?_

… Or maybe…

When I tilted my head to be sure he was glaring at **me** (yes, I really did that, thank you very much), I saw his eyes more focused on James than on me. But why would he be glaring at James, huh?

…………. Unless….

………

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed. "Now everything makes sense!" I announced.

Of course! How could I not see it before? It was so clear! I had found the missing piece of the rainbow!

I mean… of the puzzle!!!

He was _gay_!

"What are you talking about?" Harry asked, and I looked at him with pity. Poor boy, not strong enough to walk out of the closet…

"Oh, nothing." I lied quickly, telling him with my eyes I understood. But I don´t think _he_ understood what I meant. He looked at me as if I was mental. _Boys_.

"I feel soo good now that I know there's someone out there as crazy as me." Maggie announced happily, laughing. Danny looked at her adoringly and kissed her forehead.

"No one is as crazy as you, babe." He corrected.

"Ok. Let's go, Sleeping Beauty." James grinned at me, and I smiled back before remembering Harry. _Sorry!_

James waved as best as he could while holding me up and started walking away with me over him. It wasn´t wrong, right? I mean, smiling with a boy your friend liked? Harry glared at James one more time, before going to sit next to Giovanna.

"Since we can't really get out of the hotel because you're not really dress, what we can do is have a pleasant walk around on each floor." James grinned when we were in front of the elevator. Our bedrooms were on the top floor, and since I'm more than curious and a little stupid, I had wanted to visit floor by floor walking. Besides, this was one of the fanciest hotels I had ever stepped on.

I nodded. "Yes! That would be so cool! But we have to go by the stairs. Not the elevator." I pleaded.

James pouted. "Please? Tallulah What's-your-surname!" He complained. "It's so easy for you to say, you're not the one walking with a heavy girl on your back."

"Are you calling me _fat_?" I asked. "Besides, it was your idea!" I laughed. "And the surname is McKoy."

"Ok, McKoy. Let's do this. We go two floors by stairs, and four on elevators. There're 21 floors, so it's pretty good." James offered. I thought about it (I mean, yeah, I wasn´t a feather and he was kind enough to carry me). I nodded, and we started our journey down the stairs.

I have to admit, I never had so much fun as I did in that stupid running around the hotel. I loved it. We were laughing the whole time, inventing stories for the people we saw or the places we liked. We talked about music, about boys, about girls, about Ipods. We talked about sports, about journeys, about Disney. We talked about being in a band, about being working for a band, about betrayal. We talked about everything. And we just clicked in everything.

And if it wasn´t because we thought alike, it was because our opinions complement each other.

Once we reached the lower floor, I was quite sure James Bourne was the kind of boy I could fall in love with too easily. _**Too**_ easily.

James took me to the pool that was in the basement of the hotel. It was empty at that time of the evening, and we had it all to ourselves. We sat on the sofas, laughing because James almost fell, slipping in the wet floor. And even when I was seriously enjoying the moment…

It felt weird, actually. As if I knew something was about to happen, or going to happen in the future. A sentiment of _expectation_, anticipation. A squeezing in my guts and a tingly sensation where he had left his hand over my naked leg. And the weird urge to not mess this up and fuck him without _meaning_.

That surprised me more than anything.

Sex, in my life, had never had to mean something. It was great when it did mean it, but I didn't care for purely sexual and physical sex. As it was with Alex, Sean, Max, Carter, Jay, Frank, and many, many other. Even most of my boyfriends. But not with Harry.

The thing with Harry was different. Not _James_ different, but different. It was pure lust and pleasure. He was my other half in sex. My body was made for his and his for mine.

And yet…

"Well, I'm glad." James said, interrupting my thoughts. I looked at him with curiosity, asking him to go on. He smirked. "I made you smile."

I smiled at that. "Of course. But why?"

"Mike was saying that you were sulking the last days. That you were weird and all, and he didn´t think it was only because you couldn´t walk. So I offered my services." He grinned happily.

_Oh_.

Mike had noticed.

But I don´t know _why_ it surprised me. Mike noticed everything of me since the very same day I met him. I mean, he knew I was going to date Alex's brother before _I_ did it.

I guess… I guess you should known by now.

And even when I pretended I was great and strong and fantastic… Well, I really wasn´t.

This whole… confused state of mind wasn´t my normally self. No.

I'll say it really quick, so it's going to look less stupid, ok?

Here I go.

1…

2…

……….3….

MyfirstexboyfriendtheoneIalwaysknewtobeespecialisabouttogetmarriedwiththesluthecheatedonmewith.

You didn´t got it?

Fine….

My first ex boyfriend, the one I always knew to be especial, is about to get married with the slut he cheated on me with.

I know, I know.

I should be over him by now. But I wasn´t. and probably never was going to, because the slut he cheated on me with was actually my cousin, the perfect girl for my entire family. Emily Chesterfield is pretty, blonde, green-eyed, white perfect skin, smart, lawyer degree, very ladylike, kind, adequately witty, adorable, and so on. She was the apple of every person in my family's eyes, and that was the reason why no one looked bad at her for stealing her baby cousin's boyfriend. In fact, everyone thought it was normal, even _natural_, because "it was clear it was meant to be". And he was a bastard.

SO I was going to be doomed with no escape, because I was going to see him in every single family reunion. I wanted to crawl in a hole and died.

I probably showed something on my face, because James looked worried, and asked me if I was ok.

Was I?

No.

"It's my cousin." I said, and then explained the whole thing to him. I was proud of me I didn´t cry. It was fruitless, and I didn´t want to cry over him. He was an asshole and deserved to die… But I couldn´t get him out of my head.

James nodded slowly when I finished. "I see…" He said. I was tempted to ask him what the hell he _saw_. "Well, he's a son of a bitch."

I smiled a little at that, and two seconds later, I was rolling in the floor because of my laughter. James watched me amused while I laughed. "That he is!"

"So… you're invited to the wedding, right? And you can´t really say you don´t want to go…"

"Exactly." I accepted. It was easier to talk about this with him than with Mike. Mike would had made a huge scene about my family and about _Darren_. "My grandparents decided they weren't going to the wedding of _a total bitch that deserved to be in hell because of her sluttish methods_ and a _completely useless sissy that left a perfectly perfect adorable girl for a whore and isn't smart or strong enough to act for himself_. Their words, not mine But I can´t do the same.."

James laughed. "Cool grandparents you have."

"Yeah. They're great." I nodded. "A little too pill-dependent, but cool." I smiled.

"You know what? You should get a cool boyfriend for the wedding."

I stared at him amazed. Had he just really said that?

"What? My sister Melissa forced me to watch chick flicks with her yesterday. Believe me, you can have enough of 10 things I hate about you, The wedding date, How to lose a guy in ten days and all until you have to start to think like a soap opera writer." He grinned.

"So… You're saying I have to pay someone to pretend to be my cool boyfriend?"

"Well, not exactly. I'm saying you're working for a _band_. And I'm sure any of them would be more than glad to pretend to be your boyfriend for a day."'

"Oh, no. No, no, no. I can´t ask them _that_. What if anyone knows, huh? Then it's going to reach the press and they're going to be doom. What would look like, the girl writing their book….?"

James smirked putting an arm around my shoulders. "You're too cute. What about this, then? I can pretend to be your boyfriend."

I stared at him surprised. How…? Why…?

Did I mention I was confused?

So I did the first thing that occurred to me.

I hugged him.

And by the impulse I took to jump to his neck, we went right to the floor.

Except…

There wasn´t floor there.

There was water.

I squealed right before submerging in the water with James. He had it worst, because he had my weight on him. But when we re-emerged, he was laughing his ass off. Which made me laugh in return.

"I take that as a _WOW, James, you're fantastic! Thanks!!!! I love you, you're great!!!_." James laughed.

I started swimming away of him, sticking my tongue out at him. "It's great idea, but isn't it too cliché?" I asked without really looking at him. I love water, and swimming was one of my favorite things. When I reached the other end, I swam back to James, who had sat on the other edge of the pool.

"Really, James. I appreciate it. But don´t you think that-…?" I started but he interrupted me.

"Look, girl. You already accepted. So, sorry for you if you want to back out now, but even if you tell me you don´t want to, I'm going to find the address and I'm going to go there to make a scene. I promise." He stated, ruffling my hair.

I smiled at him, sitting next to him. "Thanks. Really. You're great."

"Oh, girl. I know it already." James said with a wide smirk. "That's what girls keep saying to me on My space."

"I bet." I said, smacking his chest. He was wearing a white shirt that was almost transparent now over his chest thanks to the water.

Now, I do understand what boys see in girls with white wet shirts. Really. If girls with clothes like that were just as sexy as James was looking to me right now, then I was all for it. Maybe I could create a white wet t-shirts contest for boys… I'm sure a lot of girls would love it just as I love it.

"Are you ready to get going? Mike is going to kill me if I don´t take you back. He's like a father... Or and overprotective brother!" He laughed, standing up. I pouted at him. "Come on, girlie. Up, up." James said, helping me get out of the water holding me from my waist. He took me bridal style to the place where towels were, and grabbed one robe for him and one for me, helping me putting it on. He gave me a piggy back, and took me out of the pool.

We went up toward the lobby, but before we would go up the stairs, I saw Dougie. With a _girl_. I smirked. I knew he had something going on! It was too clear to my female self to see!

"Hide, hide!" I said in a low voice. James did as I tell him, but looked at me intrigued. "Look." I pointed toward Dougie, talking with a pretty tall girl with brunette hair.

James smirked. "He's a bastard." He laughed. As we spied on them (who were only talking, maybe a little too close of each other, but nothing else), I noticed he hadn´t left me on the floor. I touched his arms trying to make it look casual. God, he had great arms, so muscular… So that was how he managed to hold me up all this time without complaining. "Isn´t she Danny's friend?"

"How would I know?" I laughed. "Do you think we should get closer?"

"Not really." James sighed. "He's not going to do anything fun right now. He takes his sweet time to do something."

We laughed, and James took me back to the stairs. We expend the time getting up the hotel's floors thinking and plotting what was really going on with Dougie and the other girl, and thinking about their future. It was really fun, and once we reached the point of their wedding (with a huge party and a great troublesome scene with an ex), we also reached our floor.

Mike looked at us surprised, looking up of his computer to observe us. He smiled. "Finally."

"I'm so great." James stated grinning, while he left me on one of the chairs, sitting at my side.

"You know, Mike? If you were _so_ worried, you could just ask me." I stated.

"Would you've told me?"

_Damn_.

"No. But I surely would have told you I _didn´t_ want to tell you, therefore, you would know exactly something was up." I smirked. Yeap, that was a point for me.

It didn´t last long, though.

Nope.

"I knew that already." He pointed out, and then he looked at me with his cutest puppy eyes, and I was just hopeless. So I explained him everything that had happened, from my ex to my cousin, from the wedding to James offer. When I finished, Mike grinned widely, looking at James with an eyebrow arched.

"Seems like a good idea. And you know what? I'm going to get you the most gorgeous white dress _ever_." He announced happily.

I looked at him confused. "But… it's not supposed only the bride dress in white?"

Ok, I admit it. I was dense.

Sorry.

Mike grinned. "Think what kind of statement you're going to be making if you go in a white dress ten times better than the bride's. I actually have Narciso Rodriguez on speed dial…" He said, grabbing his phone.

I stared at him, shocked.

_Narciso Rodriguez?_

_NARCISO RODRIGUEZ?!!!!!_

"You're kidding me, right?" I stated.

Mike stopped to look at me. "No. Why would I do something like that?"

"Because you're a sadistic bastard?"

"Honey, that's you."

Oh… Yeah, ok. He's right. It's me.

"But anyway! Why you never told me you know him?! He's one of my idols!"

"So you're in love with the scary guy of the ghost hunting, and with a couturier. You're weird." James laughed.

"I just have many different likes!"

"It never came up on a conversation. I'll get you a dress from him, and then we're going to give you a limousine and bodyguards… and I bet I could find some photographers to pretend… Oh!!! And fans! We can make you look like a great journalist that even has fans!"

"Don´t you think that's going a little too far?" James interrupted, tilting his head to the side with his pretty eyes wide open.

I shook my head. Mike didn´t even pay attention to him. "When Mikey goes on a speech about soap operas, he won't stop until he's finish. Don´t worry. In the end, most of his words just disappear in the air."

"I hope so, because I don´t think it would be too comfortable to have fans _stripping_…"

We laughed. Yeap, Mike had really said that. He was crazy.

"Fuck." James muttered. "It's already late. My mom was waiting for me ten minutes ago…" He sighed, getting up. I pouted. I didn´t want him to leave, because I was having a lot of fun with him near me.

"Fine. I'll see you soon, right?" I said, but it was a statement more than a question.

James grinned. "Of course, Tally. What do you say about tomorrow night, dinner?"

"I say _perfect_!" I laughed, kissing his cheek when he leaned to say good bye.

"Want me to take you to the bedroom? It's pretty late."

I hadn´t realized it was this late, but maybe that was why none of the boys were here. They were probably having dinner. I sighed. "Oh, yeah. Thanks, Jimmy." I said, while James took me up and leaved me on my bed with a kiss on my forehead.

Mike didn´t even noticed.

Once I was alone, I put my pajamas on, and got to bed, with the TV on. I was really tired, and I wasn't even sure why. I hadn't even walked that day. So it really didn´t take me too much to close my eyes and fall completely asleep.

…Just as it didn´t took me long to woke up when I felt someone sliding under the covers next to me. I turned around still sleepy to found Harry with his hands on my waist, pushing me closer to him.

_Oh, fuck_.

Only then, when I saw his flaming eyes, I remembered he was attracted to James. I was really a bitch…

"Harry, sorry. I-…"

He didn´t let me say anything else. "Yeah, you should be."

"Well, I am. I didn´t know."

"The least you could do is pay it up to me." Harry said, and crashed his lips on mine, kissing me forcefully.

I gave in at first, kissing him back.

But then pushed him away.

"I don´t think we should continue this." I stated, amazed with myself. If there was something I was never going to denied, was sex. And there I was, saying no to the perfect sex god.

I was such a stupid girl…

Harry looked at me surprised, his hands abandoning my body. I missed them, actually.

"_What_?"

"Well… It's that… seeing how you feel, I don´t think it's a good idea to do… this…" I said, not looking at him and blushing.

"What I feel?" I could tell, he was more than confused. The poor guy had thought no one would notice…

"Yes. It would be like playing with fire, Harry. So-…"

"Those are my feelings, let me deal with them as best as I want!" He exclaimed angrily.

I blushed even more. "It's just that I don´t want you to feel bad about-…"

"Feel bad?! What the hell are you talking about?!"

Ok, this time, I wasn´t able to keep my cool. So I yelled too.

Hell!! If he was able to yell, so was I!

"About you and James!" I snapped.

Harry almost fell off the bed because of the jumping he did when he heard my words.

It took him some time to reacted, and when he did, he was trying hard not to laugh.

"_What_?"

"You and… James?" I said, doubting about it now.

"Don´t tell me…? Don´t tell me you think I'm gay?!"

"You aren´t?"

Now I was really confused.

"No! It's insulting you would think that of me!" He said annoyed, but soon after, he cracked up laughing. "You're something else." Harry said, leaning toward me to kiss me.

"No! Wait! Harry…" I complained, but he ignored me as he grabbed my face to kiss me again. "Wait a sec…" I pouted.

Harry looked at me. "Fine. What do you want? I feel insult, you know? You just…. Emasculated me or something."

"But I thought… I thought you were _jealous._" I admitted, but I couldn´t see his face because he was kissing my neck slowly and oh so hotly.

"Jealous?" Harry asked against the skin of my neck, going to my shoulder. "I was just surprised to see you there…" He accepted, but something in his voice told me otherwise.

"Fine." I nodded. So he was jealous. He probably was jealous of James, because Harry had being the one helping me not to go crazy while I wasn´t able to walk. It was clear. Right?

* * *

**_I can´t even start to say how sorry I am. You're free -if you still remember me, that is- to throw heavy books to my head. But it's a pretty long chapter, I hope it makes up for it somehow. Right????_**

**_Oh, wel. Tallulah is really dense in this chapter, and I don´t think I really like her right now... But you tell me. Please?? Review! To see if someone remembers this. I miss all of my reviewrs and I promise to reciprocate (sp... is that a word or I just take it out of my head???) with two or three reviews. I swear!! And long reviews, not only "Uuuh I love this, update soon!". Even if I have to ramble or something like that. _**

**_Oh, well._**

**_That's all for now. I have the next chapter done already, so if you DO remember this and review, I'll update this tomorrow. _**

**_..... I'll update anyway, anyway. Because I fell sorry for making you all *or at least my computer, that is* for this chapter. Well._**

**_Love!!_**

**_XOXO_**

**_PS: I'M GOING TO SEE MCFLY IN JUNE!!!!!!!!!! Just thought you all should known. For my birthday I'm going to be Mrs. Judd, Jones or Poynter. I'm not picky. I'll offer as a groupie. XD_**


	8. 7

VII

NEW POST from _**Crazy. Betty. Page* .............................................................................................................**__18:07 hs_

Location: _The studio!_

Mood:_ Happy_

Music:_ McFly_

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

I'm SO SO SO very happy!!!!

Today was my first day _walking_! Finally!!!!

I swear, one more day, and I was going to start looking the window with better eyes. It would seem a better way to finish a worthless day, jumping off the window. At least I would be thrilled before dying.

So, today was also my first time in the studio. The boys were needed there to do some singing and recording something (I really didn´t understand what the hell was all that about), so I was there too, writing everything they were doing and what they granted to tell me. It was fun, they kept acting like retards the whole time. Really. Someone would think boys like them would be a little more mature, but _nooooo_. They were like my little cousin.

Not even M was able to make them stop. And she tried, but the threatening would have had a lot more effect if she wasn´t really laughing so hard. I was a different thing altogether. I was acting worst than them once I took my heels off. But Mike didn´t let me stand up a lot, with all of his fatherly orders…

Anyway, I enjoyed today so much, and most of it wasn´t just because I was feeling like Edmond Dantés once he was set free from his prison.

And I already have plans for tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, but they don´t have a thing to do with the movie, really.

Tomorrow I'm out with the WAGs of music industry, meaning G, you know, T's girl, and M, D's wife. And me, but I was no one's girl, so…

Anyway!

And tomorrow, I have a date with J. Supposedly, it was to fix everything about him helping me in my cousin's wedding, but… come on, you don´t go to a business reunion in Cinnabar, right? It's like the sexiest place in Ma…

Oh! And I totally forgot to tell you, I'm not in Liverpool anymore. Liverpool was amazing, and the whole three weeks we were there were amazing, but now…. I'm in Manchester!! Isn´t that cool? I could probably see that gorgeous footballer of Manchester United!!

We were so long in Liverpool because they had some things to arranged there. I didn´t complain because I was so thrilled to have some little vacations. I mean… the first two weeks of this tour were from gig to gig, like five town per week! So it was cool to have this weeks off. Although… I'm starting to suspect they only did it for my stupid leg, you know?

… Anyway!

It's everything already planned. You see, tomorrow's date it's to get a perfect dress. You so don´t go to Cinnabar in old things. It's… illegal, or something. Especially when there's more than one chance to get seen by the press when you get in with a former star of the scene.

You know, the life of the richest and famous XD.

So G and M decided they were going to take me shopping, and I would never say no to shopping…

We are going to Bolton after the four days here (today was the first) for two days, and then right to Preston. This is really cool. I'm so excited with meeting this many places of England. I know Ireland from head to toe, but England… not so much. So it's a really cool experienced.

And, don´t tell anyone but………. _I'm really thrilled with this date_.

An excited girl says good bye!!

_**TNA**_

* * *

_Yeay, another chapter!! Really short, sorry TT But I'm re-reading the next one, so just give a minute or two or something more and I'll update again. Hopefully, I'll get this on track again -.-_

_Love!!!_

_XOXO_

_Odd._


	9. 8

**VIII**

My past weeks in Liverpool were kinda fun, even when the boys, and Maggie and Gioo, the ganging bastards, didn´t let me walk. Some shit about taking care of my poor leg. Mike was enjoying this too much, knowing how much I disliked to stay quiet.

The only reasons I survived were James and Harry. Now that I was sure (really, really sure) Harry wasn´t gay, I didn´t mind having him in my bed almost every night. When we weren´t in bed, he was… _weird _in a weird way, but I never really paid attention, because… Yeah, well, because I'm stupid.

Then there was James. He was great, making me laugh and joking with me and… TAKING ME IN HIS DELOREAN!!!! Can you believe it?!!! It was my dream since I was twelve!!!! A dream that had changed when I turned eighteen and now I wanted to shag a boy inside that car. But it was the same base. I _loved_ that car and when I was little I had announced proudly that I would marry a boy with said car.

And somehow, I didn´t mind the boy been James. I felt something different with him. Something… nice, and good. And we hadn´t even _kissed_. That was like… the AWARD to weirdness when it came to me. I'm the kind of girl to get physical before getting sentimental. But I hadn´t made a move on James, just… I was just enjoying his friendship.

I enjoyed the first day they let me walk as a cripple enjoys his leg back, or something like that. From walking to the studio with Maggie and Gioo, to joking with the boys inside it, to going walking again, to dinner out that night. I loved every second of it because I was _free_ again.

That night, Harry came to my bed again, but it was different. For the first time since we had started this, we didn´t really get laid. No, we were both too tired to do anything, and just slept together. I woke up feeling… well, weird, no matter how repetitive I'm sounding. I had Harry's arms around my waist, and mines were clutched to his chest. It was a really intimate situation, because, somehow, it had a different tint than any other of my _boys_. It seemed… well, _intimate_, as in I-can-trust-him-not-to-cheat-me intimate. And I had never, **ever**_**, **_trust a boy not to cheat on me. I was used to that, because I did it myself, and that was the perfect way to keep my relationships at bay, without the love crap.

So it was _wrong_ (and weird, confusing, maddening) to be feeling that with _Harry Judd_, of all people. It would have even more sense if it was with Dougie, for example. But not with Harry. He looked like the kind of bad boy I was used to date and the kind of boy Mike and Fletch had forced me to promised them to stay away of.

And I didn´t want to move. That was worst. I wanted to have his arms around me for the whole day, not caring if I was dressed or not. It fucking scared me. It's not like I'm a commitment phobic, no. But I never had an actual relationship. I'm used to been cheated on, for example. I learned not to trust boys. They all suck. None of them deserved a second glance.

Except for James, maybe.

And… well, Harry seemed different too.

I almost jumped to the ceiling when Harry spoke. I had thought he was sleeping!

"Good morning, Cupcake." He said against the top of my head. It made me smiled _sweetly_. I NEVER smile sweetly at a boy I just fucked the last weeks almost daily! It's against the law or something, really!

…… I was freaking out.

"Good morning." I said nevertheless.

"It's being ages I didn´t sleep this well." Harry yawned, stretching and taking his arms away from me for a second. A second that made me _missed_ them.

_Ok, I'm officially about to blow out right now. I'm hoping for the AXE MURDERER_ _sometime about… NOW_…

But nothing came.

And Harry had his arms around me again as if it was the most normal thing to do.

"What time's it?" I asked, just to say something that would help my mind to stop freaking up.

Harry moved under me to reach for his mobile on my bed table. "14.00" He answered.

I nodded and cuddled against him. Yes, I was freaking up, but that didn´t mean I was a stupid about to miss an opportunity like this. HAH! "Good, then…" Until it reached me.

Oh, fuck.

"FUCK!" I exclaimed, getting up of the bed so fast I ended up on the floor in a very painful position, like a rag doll. Harry leant out of the edge of the bed to make sure I was ok, but he was trying to hold back his laughter. Bastard.

I didn´t give him time to react, I jumped back up and ran to the bathroom, closing the door and getting inside the shower without really caring. I yelped loudly when the water came out cold, but I soon arranged it to my liking.

I was so immerse in my own thoughts about what the hell I should wear, that I didn´t notice the door opening and someone sliding inside the shower with me. The feeling of a pair of hands taking the soap out of my grasp to lathering my back with it made me relaxed. Until I remembered soaps weren´t supposed to come with hands…

I turned around so fast to see who the hell it was (my brain doesn´t work well too early in the morning and never went through my mind who could be), I slipped on the wet floor and almost crashed my sorry naked ass on the floor.

Harry stopped me, but his hands slid over my skin because of the soap, and to gain balance again, he had to crashed against the wall, with me crashed against his perfectly perfect naked wet body.

I blinked fast. "I'm… sorry."

Harry laughed, helping me stood up. But he kept the null distance between us. "It's ok. Can I know why you wanted to leave me so fast?"

"I didn´t!" I exclaimed. "I… I have a date with Maggie and Gioo today, and they were going to wait for me in that pub at the end of the street exactly a quarter an hour ago."

"So… We have a quarter of an hour until they start to call you with threatening messages…" He trailed off, pushing me against the other wall and moving over me, with his hands at each side of me so I wouldn´t move.

"No, Harry. We don´t. I need to…"

………….

Ok, fine.

YOU try saying NO to a hot boy that's a sex god and it's showing you right there and then just how good his tongue skills are at the south of your body.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

So I was ready to go exactly forty minutes after getting in the shower. I had at least thirty messages of the girl, and I called to them as I ran (yes, _ran_! I can´t even start to say how happy it felt to run) to the streets and to the pub where we were supposed to meet an hour ago.

Maggie stopped my profuse apologizes with a curt nod of her head and a smirk. "It's ok, girl. It's clear _something_ stopped you."

"It's **too** clear, actually. Come here!" Gioo ordered, grabbing my arm and pushing me to the bathroom. "Boy, all of them are horny bastards! And I had to be in love with the gentleman…" She sighed.

Maggie, that had came with us a second later, laughed at that. "I bet you can change Tom into a horny dog if you want too. He loves you enough."

"Wait, so you have the good, nice, cute, funny, chivalrous boy of the four assholes, and you prefer a horny dog? I don´t understand you." I stated, as Gioo applied foundation to my neck and shoulders. And then it hit me. "Wait, wait, wait. What are you two implying with that?"

Maggie smirked. "That Giovanna here has the gentleman of the band."

"… Yeah, while _you_ have Danny." I said, pushing the matter. Did they mean what I thought they did? Because it was so not like that.

"And Dougie has a liking for her too. And I know for a fact he's more horny than a French horn." Gioo added laughing.

"And?" I pressed.

Gioo tried to added something else, not really answering what I wanted them to say, but Maggie interrupted her. "We're saying you like Harry, and Harry likes you."

I was shocked. "_What_?"

"Yeah. Don´t try to deny it, because all this…" Gioo pointed toward my many hickeys on my body. "… has Harry's mark on it."

"I'm not going to denied I slept with him. _Many_ times. But between that and actually liking him…"

"Does that mean you don´t like him?" Maggie looked confused.

"No. I mean… Of course I like him. I wouldn´t sleep with him if I didn´t. But I presume your meaning of _liking_ it's a little different than my own. My meaning of liking doesn´t needs any romantic bent."

"Too bad, because I think you're seriously going to fall for him. Harry has that gift." Gioo stated, but it was hard to understand her because she was holding a hair clip on her mouth.

Maggie nodded. "Oh, I can see it in your eyes! It's going to be _lovely_." She said, with a British accent.

Even when I was glaring at them, I laughed at their antics. "He has a gift to get into girl's pants? That's what you meant? Or did you mean he has a gift to make stupid girls fall in love with him just for the kicks?"

"No!" Gioo exclaimed, but then thought it a little bit better. "Well… yeah, somehow." "He's a heartbreaker!" Maggie laughed.

"And how is that any good, huh? You want him to break my heart? Some friends you are." I pouted. I was having a lot of fun, really. Seeing how much I could infuriated them.

"Stop it, Tallulah! You're changing our words." Gioo complained.

I shook my head, pretending to be hurt. "Me? Gioo, you're hurting my feelings." I feigned to cry. "I'm just saying what you said but in a different order."

"Which changes the whole meaning!"

"And I don´t think I would fall in love with Harry." I commented like it was the most normal thing in the world. Like I would go and say _hey! That's a pink elephant you have there! It's so cute!_

Yeah, right.

Both girls stopped what they were doing to look at me.

"And why is that?" Maggie asked.

"Because I think I may be falling for James." I accepted, not really looking at them, and feeling my cheeks in heat. I was _blushing_.

Fuck.

I was not really the kind of girl to hide her feelings, I would much rather confront them. But between that and actually confessing them to the world…

Maggie squealed, hugging me. "Yes! I'm not going to be the only one!" she announced.

I was glad to see I wasn´t the only one that didn´t understand her.

"So. James, huh?" Gioo said, but she sounded a little off. Like she was disappointed it wasn´t Harry.

"Yes. I… happen to have a date tomorrow. With him. So I need a dress…" I said, a little shy.

Maggie squealed again. "I knew it was for a date! But I thought more along a Victoria's Secret shopping for Harry. It's cool nonetheless, James is cool." She said happily.

"Well. I guess it's ok too." Gioo pouted.

"Ok, I just told you two I was about to started trusting guys –and even when you can´t know just how shocking that is for me, I bet you can understand it's something pretty hard for _anyone_-, and that's what I get? Jeez." I said, not really mad, but it was fun to annoyed them.

Gioo smacked my shoulder, announcing I was ready. I could tell by the look on her eyes she wasn´t really sure about this. Not that I was. But… for someone like Gioo, used to good boys like Tom, it should have looked awfully bad to have this girl saying she may be in love with someone when she has her whole body covered in hickeys –even when she didn´t have sex, just to remained you- made for a different man.

We walked out of the bathroom, and once we were on the streets, Maggie called a cab, and we went toward the King Street area. I fell in love with that place, and I felt like a little girl in Christmas Town. Of course, my first destination was DKNY. I had been saving a lot of money with this job, because I didn´t have to actually pay for a lot of things and almost my whole salary was intact, so I could spare some money spending.

I was in cloud nine, really.

The girls were fun to shop with, and kept showing me dresses or skirts or shoes saying quirky things about them, like "I bet this one matches his boxers!" for a bright blue DKNY top, or "Surely this one would make stand out his eyes popping out when he sees you" for a very sexy Agent Provocateur bra. I laughed it off, but I wasn´t fully able to relax, for some strange reason. I was having a mental turmoil, and I wasn´t even sure why. It was like I knew something was about to happen, and I was building up tension and anticipation.

I did manage to have fun, despite that. I enjoyed the day, and when it ended, with a lot of bags and the three of us sitting on those comfortable seats in a pub, I wished it hadn't finished. But the feeling of satisfaction after some good shopping was too high to feel down.

We were having some drinks with some tacos, and when we finished, we headed back to the hotel.

Danny was starting to get mad, really, and when he saw Maggie, he ran to her as if he hadn't seen her in forever. She laughed, kissing him. Tom went to grabbed Gioo's bags, kissing her lips softly. And I was left with Harry.

He smirked to me. "So, I was saying. We should go clubbing today, celebrating your feet." He laughed, getting closer to me.

"That would be great! Especially when I have so much clothes now!" I said happily. Everyone accepted the idea as great, and almost four hours later, I was on my room with Maggie waiting for dear Gioo to be ready.

"Hey, can I ask you something without sounding like a stupid girl?" I said slowly.

Maggie smiled. "Shoot."

"Well… It's… there was anything between you and… Dougie? I don´t want to judge or anything! I was just… curious." I said with a short smile.

Maggie paled, looking away, and then blushed. "W-Well… I… I… Kinda." She finally admitted.

So I was right.

"But there's nothing on anymore, and Dougie now has… Shoot! I shouldn´t have told you that." She sighed, laughing a little. "He asked me to keep it cool. So please don´t put it in your book."

"You mean he has a girl, right? A pretty tall brunette girl that's supposedly Danny's friend or something?"

"His cousin."

"His cousin. Cool… Do you think I could get an interview?" I joked, laughing. "Maybe I could do some chapter about the boys and their loves…"

"Well, isn´t it pretty hard to write of yourself?" Maggie asked smirking.

"I don´t know what you're talking about."

"Harry, of course. If you write about their loves, then you should put it somewhere there you're sleeping with the guy."

"Ready!" Gioo announced, interrupting my last words, and Maggie stood up happily, ignoring my glares. We walked out of the room, right to the waiting boys and then right to the car.

"We're going clubbing. We're going cluubbing." I sang happily as we walked trough the parking lot toward the car. When I was little, my mom always told me I was a Macbeth witch reincarnate, and now I couldn´t disagree. I was, by the way I was jumping and dancing in my somewhat sluttish outfit by L.A.M.B.

I could feel almost everyone laughing at me, but I didn´t care at all. I was free to walk, AND USE HEELS!, and I was going out clubbing for the night. What else a young girl in Manchester could ask for? We didn´t even need to wait, and Danny got us in just like that. Oh, the life of the richest and famous…

I didn´t even care about the photographers.

Once we were inside, Maggie, Danny, Gioo, Tom, Mike, Fletch, and Harry went to the V.I.P. lounge while Dougie and I went right to the dancefloor. We danced maniacally for the first four songs or so, until he received a message. I smirked, and leaned to him to whispered a _go, go, lover boy!_ That was actually a squeal because he wouldn´t have listened to me otherwise. Dougie blushed, and went to the door with a wink. And I was left alone.

A young boy about my age, really cute, approached me, dancing in my line of vision. I didn´t mind so I started dancing with him, grinding to him swaying my hips to the beat, and, basically… turning him on. I smirked to myself when I felt it, and accepted his offering of a drink. Who could say no to Bloody Mary, anyway?

When I got my drink in hand, somehow I lost the boy, but I only needed to finish my drink when another boy offered to pay me another one. And I got the next four Bloody's in the same fashion. When I finished my eighth, I was even more uninhibited than my normal self, and I had kissed seven boys already, completely randomly. Now, I was dancing with my number eight of the night, a lot more sexually than when I arrived. His hands were right on my butt, crashing me to him, and my arms were making its way under his shirt.

I had seen Maggie and Danny dancing near me sometime around my fourth (drink, not boy), and Gioo and Tom around the fifth (boy, not drink), but I didn´t have the slightest idea where the hell they –or anyone else- were right there.

I just enjoyed the feeling, of his body grinding with mine, of the world spinning around, of my head turning from side to side, of the music… of Harry's eyes on me when I turned to give boy number eight the privilege of my back.

Harry was standing near the bar with his eyes glued to my body, following every single move. He was closed to us, and when he noticed me noticing him, he moved his eyes to boy number eight, glaring at him. I giggled, at the same time I extended my arms and upper torso to him while boy #8 grabbed my hips to crashed me to his crotch. I didn´t mind.

Harry let me pushed him to me without any particular expression on his face except for hate. But I didn´t pay a lot of attention and started to moved again to the beat, with my chest against Harry's. He took his sweet time to accept my offering, and grabbed me possessively by the waist, pushing me to him. Boy #8 noticed it, and pushed me back to him.

I giggled, moving the rhythm and enjoying the night. Did I mention I was drunk as hell?

Somehow, I don´t know how, some time later –I'm not sure how long- I was sitting on the floor in a very unladylike position, while Harry and Boy #8 beat each other to a messy bloody pulp. It took me some time to understand what was going on, but when I did it, I stood up and ran to them, trying to stop them. Of course they didn´t listen to me, and kept making me jump to avoid their hits.

"Oh, come on!" I snapped once I slipped for the third time except this time I fell on top of a redhead boy sitting near the place where they were fighting. "Could you help me stopping these assholes?" I exclaimed. The redhead accept without a second thought when I offered him a little kiss on the lips, and with his help, I had Harry up on the V.I.P. before Security or any paparazzi could do any damage. I didn´t have the slightest idea where the hell Boy #8 was.

"You're stupid!" I snapped, walking (or trying to, since I kept slipping with the stupid floor) around the little cubicle where we were sitting.

"Shut up." He ordered.

"I don´t want to. Why did you hit him?" I asked curiously.

Harry glared at nothing in particular. "He's a bastard."

"And how would you know?"

"He wasn´t drunk."

"So what?"

"He was taking advantage of you because _you_ clearly are."

"So?!" I snapped. I wasn´t seeing any sense in that at all.

"So I didn´t want him near you, ok?!! I don´t want anyone's hands on you apart from my owns!"

I sighed, not really paying attention to his words. "Too bad for you, Har. Stop acting like a child."

"Shut up." He interrupted my blabbering.

I didn´t listen to him, and instead I kneeled in front of him, grabbing his belt and undoing it, not really sure why. Then I grabbed the ER kit someone had left on the table, and took some gauze and alcohol, ready to disinfect his swollen lip and his split cheek.

Harry moved again when I did that, to grab my hands. "Nu-uh. You're not going near me with alcohol in your state." He said clearly. The only thing clear for me right there, actually.

"Don´t be stupid. You need to fix that." I stated, but instead of pointing to his cheek, I pointed to his crotch.

He laughed, petting my head. "And you're going to do that?"

"I wouldn´t mind. But your cheek is bleeding…" I pouted as my hands moved on their own to help him take his pants and boxer to his ankles. I licked my lips once I got him half naked in front of me, with a boner huger than Russia.

"Don´t care about my cheek, babe." He ordered, petting my head to move it slowly down to his crotch.

I obliged.

And didn´t stop until he came.

"You're amazing." He said, petting my head once more before grabbing me from my shoulders to take me to his face level, and then he kissed me.

I smirked once we broke apart, sliding his pants up and standing up. "Let's go dancing." I said.

We went down to the dance floor and started dancing, but somehow, when I turned to him after a while, he was gone. I blinked trying to remember if he had said or did something, but my brain was useless.

So I didn´t wait too much and with the first boy that offered me a Bloody Mary, I started grinding to the sound of Cobra Starship. His hands were quickly clutched to me hips, marking the moves he wanted me to do, sliding down and up again.

Until…

Someone else's arms went to my waist, taking me away of that boy. I loved those arms, I decided, wondering how good its finger could be.

"Get away!" Harry snapped behind me, and it took me exactly seventy seconds to realize the voice and the arm belonged to the same person.

"Leave her alone, you bastard. I was dancing with her!" the boy yelled back. Poor boy, he didn´t know when to stop.

"I don´t give a shit. She's mine!" Harry announced, and to make his words a statement, he kissed me fully on the lips, passionately, harshly, sexily…

"Asshole." The boy insulted with hatred.

Harry smirked. "With the girl. Learn not to mess with somebody else's belongings."

I turned to him a little dazed.

"I'm your slave." I announced.

And suddenly, in my brain… everything made sense.

* * *

_Just to say that I swear to re-read this soon. Really. -.-_


	10. 9

**IX**

And indeed I was. For the whole night.

I did every little thing he wanted me to do, and I loved it. Harry liked it too, I could tell, but… what kind of boy doesn't like a sex slave?

I woke up on Harry's room, with my head over his chest, his arms on my waist and his eyes on my back.

…. Ok, wait.

What?

I opened my eyes surprised.

How could he be staring at me if he was under me? That didn't have any sense at all. I turned around to find him standing by the bathroom door completely naked –and I can tell you, those pictures that Mike had make sure I got were no justice to his naked body right in front of your eyes-, glaring at the Harry under my arms.

Only then it occurred to me that maybe that boy wasn't Harry at all, and when I turned to make sure, I found a cute, younger, blonde boy naked. I didn't even blush, as I was supposed to. I looked back at Harry, holding my laughter down.

"Hi." I smirked. He glared at me. I stood up from my place in the bed, grabbing the sheets to cover my body, and reveling cute blond guy was as naked as myself or Harry. "This is a new one." I stated, tilting my head to the side, analyzing the blonde.

"I have a fucking headache and your words are not making it easier. I want that bastard out of here, now."

I smirked, looking at the watch. Seven in the morning… I grinned and started to grab the boys' clothes, feeling Harry's eyes on me the whole time. "What? Didn´t you want him out?" I laughed. It was a funny situation. I had had a ménage-a-trois and didn´t even remembered it. How bad.

When Harry reacted, he didn´t wait long to start pushing the boy –with bed and all- toward the door after putting on his boxers. (Or was it Blondie's?) He didn´t want to touch him, I could tell, but didn´t have any choice when he had to left him inside the elevator –my idea, isn´t it wicked?-. I left the clothes with him, and then Harry and I went running back to his room.

I was giggling like a little girl –a very pervert little girl, actually- and jumped back to the bed. Harry glared at me. "I don´t find it funny."

"You did. You didn´t have much qualms some hours ago, when you were enjoying yourself with me as Blondie did his homework." I smirked. I had some flashes of the night before, and everything was… Sodoma and Gomorrah worthy, I tell you.

"Well, I was drunk. I told you I didn´t like other boys touching you." He declared, pushing me so I was leaning on the bed, and he leaned over me with a devilish smirk.

"W… What?" I asked. What the hell did he just say?

"I want you for myself. I want you to be my slave. My toy. My pet." He said as he started kissing licking and biting my collarbone. I bit my lower lip not to moan. It didn´t sound wrong, actually. Being his toy…

Oh, fuck it, Tallulah! You're deranged!

"Why?" I asked stupidly.

Harry grinned. "Because you're perfect. Dominant men turn you on. And it turns me on being dominant over a girl." He accepted without any kind of shame. He was now licking my breast, which was proving to be a very annoying thing, since it didn´t let me concentrate.

And that's what I'm going to plead when they refute what I said after that.

"I can be yours at night." I offered.

Yes, I was like high. Really. I wasn´t thinking clearly.

"I can accept that." Harry smirked, kissing me on the lips. He took my sheet away of my body, and made me curled up my legs on his hips.

"But it's not night now." I giggled. He shrugged, grinning.

"I don't care."

*-*-*

I was freaking out.

As in… really freaking out. Ghost Hunting with Yvette had NOTHING on what I was feeling right there.

And I mean the whole palms-sweating, eyes-avoiding-eyes quivering-hands cold-sweat-all-over-my-body wide-eyes goose-bumps-and-shivers-down-my-spine kind of freaking out.

Seriously.

I need something to say now. Quick. Fast.

And smart, please. Smart too.

Don´t make me say something stupid involving witches and aliens.

PLEASE.

Just something normal.

Please!

"I'm going out with Maggie."

Way to go, genius!

Ok, that wasn´t smart enough. But he accepted it.

"Oh. Ok. Have fun." He grinned, kissing my lips – after I'd finished applying lip gloss lips, mind you-, as I turned around to leave.

I felt bad. Harry didn´t even accept that stupidly lame excuse. He was just tugging along.

I felt guilty. And Maggie was going to kill me.

I grabbed my phone once I was in the elevator, ready to go. At least I could fix something in this mess.

I don´t even know why I did what I did. I wasn´t like that. Usually, I didn´t care. I could say hey! I'm late to my meeting with your brother in that motel, sorry to leave you with such a problem, as if I was talking about the weather.

Then… WHY THE HELL I LIED TO HARRY?!!!

I'm stupid, that's the answer.

I mean, come on! This stupid thing had so many weak points I couldn´t even count them. Like… what if Maggie was with Danny and Danny told Harry? Or… what if Harry walked down the stairs to find James waiting for me?

When the elevator stopped five floors before the main floor, I was hyperventilating. The young girl working as hostess there looked surprised, and gave me a paper bag to relax. I finally did it, but I was sure my make-up was ruined. I smiled softly as the girl got off the elevator on the main floor, looking at me worriedly. As soon the door closed, I called Maggie.

"Please, please, tell me Danny's not with you!" I pleaded when she answered.

I could tell she was surprised. "… Well… Seeing I'm on his hotel room… Then yes, I'm with him. What happened, Lola? You ok?"

"No." I accepted. "Not at all, I'm doom. I'm stupid. I deserve to be abducted by aliens. Why don´t you make them a call and you tell them about the stupid girl here?"

Maggie chuckled. "I would love to, but I don´t have their phone number. Now, really. What happened?"

"I lied to Harry." I blurted out.

"… Ooook…"

"I told him I was going out with you. I don't even know why I did that! I'm losing my mind!" I exclaimed.

"Ok. Don´t worry. I'll go out with you, and Danny's not going to say anything. I promise. But… you have to start thinking that maybe if you lied to him because you're starting to like him."

"You're not helping at all with that. I was hyperventilating just some minutes ago."

"Ok, ok. You go, James' probably already waiting for you. I'm going to make sure lover boy doesn´t found out anything. But you're probably need to tell him sooner or later."

"Later. Like… when I'm dying."

"Where are you? I hear you badly! Hello??"

"On the elevator. Oh, it's back on the main floor! Say thanks to your husband. Thanks, Maggie! Love!" I exclaimed, running out of the elevator without looking at myself in a mirror. I surely was a mess. The Lock Ness Monster, probably.

"You look amazing."

I was so surprised to hear that voice this close, I turned around too fast, causing my heel to slipped with the carpet and making me almost fall to the floor.

James caught me before that. "You know? When they said girls fawned when they saw me, I never thought they said it literally." He grinned, helping me back to my feet.

I smiled. Being close to him was like an instant happy effect. Like Jacob to Bella in Twilight. My personal untroubled sun.

"You should know that already. Your Knight in Shining Armor complex probably forces you to save those girls." I smirked, kissing his cheek as salutation.

"Only when they're gorgeous." He winked at, offering me his arm. "Are you ready to go?"

I nodded, accepting his arm, as he lead me to the front door of the hotel. There, his wonderful Delorean was waiting for us. I was really tempted to stand up and kiss his cheek again, but instead I did a much mature thing. I squealed, run to it and hugged the car.

Mental, right?

That's only because you didn´t know my skirt (treacherous skirt) slid up my butt when I jumped. Yep, as you heard it. And my cutest Strawberry Shortcake red with white polka dots thong was showing for the world to see.

James chuckled at my sight –or probably at my choice of undies- as I stood up again like a normal person.

"I'm ready to go now." I announced normally, and was about to open the door, when James stopped me, and did it for me.

I was a little shocked, but smiled, thanked him, and sat inside, waiting for him to take his position next to me. I turned to him as he ignited the car. "Wasn´t it supposed that the chivalry was dead?"

James chuckled. "Not completely. It's keep living inside a select few, like the Masonic. You can´t even imagine the things I had to endure to keep it." He joked, making me laugh.

"Oh, I understand now. I always wondered."

"Well, now you know." He winked.

"It's like a sect, then. Like… you have to show how much you want it and so?"

"Yes, something like that. It's not like I can really tell you, you know? It's a secret sect. No one is supposed to know about it because then everyone would want to be a part of it. But I can tell you, because you're my subject of investigation now."

"Oh, yeah? And what are you investigating, huh?"

"The effect of chivalry in pretty, independent, funny girls. There's some theories in our sect that said chivalry is able to make a girl fall in love with you. Like a love potion. I always wondered if that was true." He confessed grinning devilishly.

And I blushed.

Really, really blushed.

"I can say to you it has some great points in it. I could understand some pretty, independent, funny girl falling in love with it." I smirked.

"I'll take your word on that."

I smiled at him, feeling weird. Like going bungee jumping without a cord… But I wasn´t sure if it was for joy or to end my nervous feelings. Either seemed like a good option in my opinion.

"So… where are you taking me?" I asked after some moments of silence.

James just looked at be by the corner of his eye and smirked. "Somewhere."

"Somewhere like… where?"

"Somewhere cool?" He offered. We were near Barton Arcade when an idea strike my mind. What if…?

"Oh my god. Don´t tell me…?" James' smirk widened as he turned over St Anne's Square, stopping between this one and Deansgate. It was clear where we were going. And I can tell you 'oh my god' didn't even reach the level of excitement I had when we parked. "The Circle Club." I said in a whisper.

"I thought you would enjoy it. You seem sinful enough." He grinned, stepping out of the car when the valet boy opened his door. Another one opened mine, helping me out.

I had been in The Circle Club once, with the prestigious –and very hot- model Fionn McCallister. And I had loved it. They had let us in the Inner Circle, and it was the most sexual, debauchery experience ever.

Fuck.

"I'm seriously starting to think about marrying you." I announced when James offered me his arm. He laughed as we entered the club without having to wait for the line. A group of slutty girls squealed when they saw James, and started yelling about Busted, Son of Dork, and sexual offers.

I grinned. "You seem quite the popular guy. Are you trying to charm me?"

He offered me his cutest smile. "Is it working?"

"Efficiently."

"Good, then."

A young waitress came to us as soon as she saw us, smiling and flirting a little with James. She took us up to the Inner Circle (I had to contained my squeal of delight), and showed us our table. Once we were sitting and ordered some drinks and whatever the chef thought was better on the menu, I let out a short squeal.

James laughed.

"Seriously, this is the best date ever." I stated.

"Certainly. I'm glad you like it. It took me whole two weeks to think of where to take you."

That surprised me. Had he being planning a date for two weeks? "Well, great choice." I smirked, looking around.

We were sitting in the infamous Dark Room of The Circle Club, the most mood inducing styling room I had ever been in. It was like… an orgasm waiting to happen, pronounced panoramic pleasures, all patrons and peers. It was the perverted version of a normal room in a club, an oasis in the storm. There were inverted altars, reclaimed wooden pentagrams, images, and scripts sourcing Anti-biblical sacraments.

Saying I loved that place was not saying enough.

Our waitress came with our drinks, and leaved quickly, probably to get our food. I was sitting in front of James, in one of the black stands. "Really, James. This is great." I smiled, leaning toward him.

I wanted to kiss him.

We hadn´t kiss since I met him, and it was something more than weird in me. I needed to kiss him. And I wouldn´t mind to tell him, but that would have been boring. So instead, I took my heels off with a little kick, and extended my feet to his dark jean clad leg. He flinched a little when he felt me, surprised, but soon smirked at me, and let me do what I wanted. I licked my lips slowly, catching his attention, as my feet slid up his leg. I stopped in his groin, looking straight at his eyes.

James licked his lips watching me; I knew almost every boy had a fetish with eyes. It turned them on to have the girl doing dirty things under the table and holding his gaze. And god, James was turned on. His hand slid to my feet, grabbing it strongly and caressing the tip of my toes. It made me curled with pleasure. I loved my toes.

"Excuse me." Said the smiling waitress, but when we looked up, our plates were already on their place. Wow, the girl was good! We both stopped moving as we thanked them, and proceeded to eat. But I didn´t move my feet of their place on his groin.

Almost two hours later, we were hitting the dance floor like mad people, laughing and joking silly, after the three or four drinks we had each. We were good, each move, each grind, each touch was completely in synchrony with the other's. It was like dancing with your shadow. A very sexy and hot shadow.

"Is this sinful enough for you?" James asked, biting my earlobe slowly. I laughed; we had being joking all night that I was the queen of hell and everyone there were my slaves. "Sexual immorality, impurity, debauchery? Idolatry and witchcraft?"

I smirked. "And hatred, discord, jealousy, rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy?" I added quickly. I had read something like that somewhere. I pointed different places in the club that showed what I was saying. Two girls fighting, a boy catching his girl cheating, some girl watching us with pure jealousy, a boy on the bar, drinking…

James laughed. "Queen of discord!" He announced, moving his hands to the small of my back. "Add to that drunkenness, orgies and the like." He slurred a little, moving his hands a little lower. I moved against him fast, to force his hands to just grabbed my butt once and for all.

"You can stop being a gentleman now." I whispered in his ear, and in response to that he pushed me closer, making me move my right leg more up his leg. I smirked.

Ok, this is it.

I leaned towards him

But as I was about to kiss him like a hunger woman, I stopped, and let my lips slowly caress his. James, however, didn´t let me be as cute and sweet as I tried to be. He pushed me to him even more, making me gasp in surprise, which in turn cause him to slide his tongue inside my mouth.

He was great at making out. It was so sensual and sexy.

But…

Just as his hands moved under my skirt, I found myself thinking of Harry. Why the hell was I thinking about him was something that escaped my thoughts. But I was. Remembering his touches, his hands, his lips… and it aroused me even more, just thinking about having them both touching me…

I'm sick and perverted, maybe?

Somehow, I found myself back in the VIP dance floor, pinned against a wall by James with my legs around his hips and his hands on my butt.

"I wanted to do this so much." He said in my ear.

I grinned. "And now you don´t?"

"Of course I want to." James stated, but stopped nonetheless. I looked at him surprised. "But I don´t think it's a good place."

"Why not?" I wondered. It was clear no one there would mind, seeing as many of them were already at it.

"Call me old-fashioned… But I don´t think you would like it here." He said, with his eyes darker than normal. I smirked, pushing him toward our table until he was pin against the opposite wall and I was between his legs; we were covered from the sight of the outside world by some curtains.

"Are you sure?" I asked at the same time I knelt between his legs and started unzipping his pants.

"Lula…" He said in a low voice between clenched teeth. I thought maybe he wanted to make me stop, but I didn´t pay attention. I was too occupied moving his boxer out of the way. He had Irish clover's boxer, and in my almost too drunk state I wondered how they would fit me. James' hands went to my hair, caressing my head.

It wasn´t the same caress of Harry, it was more… loving and tender. Not as if I was a good pet. I wasn't really sure what I liked more.

"Lula, are you sure?" He asked when I was just about to touch his groin.

I smirked. Yes, I did remember what I said about not doing it before they do it first. But it was James Bourne, right? And he was nice. He didn´t seem like the type to cheat.

I didn´t voice my words but instead opened my mouth, moving down slowly, seductively, over his member, and then up again. I heard him moan, and as his caresses on my head turned more desperate. I started to move faster.

But he didn´t let me finish my perfect job. He took me up from my shoulders, and kissed me sweetly on the lips, dragging me closer to him until my breasts were pressed against his chest.

I put my legs at his side, but didn´t moved forward. It felt… weird. Maybe he was right, and the old fashion style was better?

James sighed against my neck, hugging me to him, feeling his body next to mine, grinding and binding. "I think I'm falling for you." He admitted as I started to move up and down slowly, just to feel him.

That left me confused. What kind of guy told you that after so little time? It wasn´t normal. Particularly when you weren´t sure at all if that was what you wanted. Or what you were feeling.

Instead of answering him, I fastened up my moves, and I kissed him deeply, passionately, gasping for air.

"James…" I said in a low voice, collapsing over him. My dress was up to my waist, and his hands were on my naked hips, over the little cords of my thong.

If there was something better than The Circle Club for a date, I wasn´t sure what.

* * *

**_Yeay! I'm slowly recouping reviewers! Thanks to all of you who don´t forgot this! And because I'm feeling all mighty and all XD, I'm going to offer the first three paragraphs to the first two reiewers XD_**

**_Love!!_**

**_XOXO_**

**_Odd_**


	11. 10

**X**

The week after my date with James was fantastic. I had seen him all the three days we spent in Manchester, and a last time when we went to visit Danny's parents when we were in Bolton. He left after that, promising to meet me in Glasgow ten days later. It was fun having a sort of real boyfriend.

The tour was starting to look better for me, and I like it more than when I started. I knew the boys more, I knew Gioo and Maggie enough to actually consider them friends, and I had James.

Maggie was staying with us now, but seeing as we were so close to Bolton, almost every day she went there to visit a friend of hers and the Jones' family. So I didn't really see her and I was saved the trouble of actually explaining why I had lied.

McFly were occupied with shows, three in Manchester and two in Bolton. That was how I was safely avoiding Harry. He went to sleep real late, and only once we shared a bed, only to sleep.

Danny, however, was another thing.

"Girl, you're something." He said. We were in Preston, doing the first concert. After ten songs, Danny's jeans had gave up and the button holding them up (if that was what you could call _up_) broke. He had tried to keep them in place for the last six songs, but he took advantage of the intermission to get someone to fix it. And, lucky me, that someone was _moi_. Maggie wasn't able to sew for her life, and they didn't even think of asking someone else because they were all SELFISH BASTARDS!!!

So I had his jeans in my hands, trying to fix them while he paraded in boxers around his dressing room.

I stared at him when he said that, thinking he talked about his jeans. "It's not really that important."

"Believe me, it is. Maybe is the hair." Danny said as an afterthought.

"The hair? You are not talking about the jeans."

"Why would I?"

"I… don't have the foggiest. What _are_ you talking about?"

"Harry." I was about to say something when he added. "And James."

I opened my mouth surprised. "You know?"

"Of course. What I don´t understand – and my wife doesn't either – is why you ask us to lie. You're not dating Harry."

"If I knew why I did that, my life would be much easier." I stated, sighing.

"Well, I can offer you Maggie's theories, if you want. But I'm sure you don't. So I'll tell you mine. You're on the verge of falling in love with both."

_Ok… How could he say something like that so normally?_

"This is how you know someone's a songwriter." I stated. "I don't fall in love."

"Me neither." He said with a wink. "But I'm married and I love my wife."

"You're older than me." I added.

Danny laughed. "You're _that_ desperate to find an excuse?"

"Yes." I admit. "Do you really think that?" I added some seconds later.

"It's my opinion, anyway. I'm only saying, take care of what you do. Because if you don't fall in love, you don't want others to do so, right? Just be sure of what you want." Danny said, suspiciously calm.

_Oh, god. He KNOWS something._

I handed him the jeans while I looked at him curiously. _Ok, girl, play it cool. Cool… You know you can. For once in your life don´t be so straightforward…_

"What do you mean by that?"

_Great! You disappoint me again, brain. At least you weren't _that _straightforward, it could've been worse…_

Danny grinned mysteriously. "Nothing at all, darling. I have to leave you now." He laughed, walking out of the dressing room after buttoning up his jeans. I ran after him and finally caught him while he was about to get on stage.

"You _better_ tell me once this show is over!" I stated, pushing his arm.

"Bye, Tilly." He waved, too chirpy to be real. When I turned, I found Maggie – and all the people in the backstage - staring me a little confused. I smiled. "Sorry."

The music started blasting trough the speakers in every part of the arena, giving me a headache. Before this job, I wasn't really a _gigs_ person. I'd went to just a few – like Paul McCartney, Stone Roses, Franz Ferdinand, Guns 'n Roses, The Rolling Stones, Regina Spektor and a few others - and it wasn't like I went to a show every month, much less a week. So having to go to a show practically every single day, arranging interviews and photos I would like... I was about to be hospitalized.

Thank god, Maggie didn't follow me, because with Danny's words, I so wasn't ready to confront another interrogation. And yes, I knew that… somehow, it was because… maybe… I was starting to believe what they said.

Oh, god.

… Was I… in_ love_ with James?

Or even worse... Was I in love with _Harry_?

Suddenly, I was about to cry and I wasn't sure why. Because I was falling in love, because I was about to hurt someone, because I was going to need to stop my non-commitment life…

I walked to one of the tour bus that was near – we didn't stay in a hotel this time around – and jumped inside. We had two buses. In one of them we had Danny, Maggie, Tom – and Gioo when she went with us - Dougie and Fletch and two bus drivers. Harry was supposed to be in there too, but seeing Maggie was tagging along, he left her his place in that bus, so in the other he, Mike, Nicky, and myself traveled along with a photographer and two bus drivers.

I had decided against my bed, using it as wardrobe, and instead, I took the sofa on the upper floor as my room. No one really complained. I went there with my ipod, blasting The Clash – London Calling, one of the best CDs EVER-, and my laptop on, so I could finish chapter four and five of the book. Can you believe it? Chapter four and five!!!!! I was starting to really love that part of the job, at the same time I was disliking more and more the show part.

Reading back, I slowly had started to change my way of seeing things on tour. The first few pages of the first chapter were almost cold, when I didn't even know them and I was just the new girl with a crazy job. Then, it changed to been warmer and nicer. The interviews were better, my writing was better, my opinion on them was better, the jokes, even. And, as I re-read the last couple of pages, I realized… I was very subjective.

Harry was the one I named the most. He was at least once on every page and I wrote as much of him as I could without really noticing and without really wanting to. Even James was there, since he was officially on the tour with McFly as so-and-so –I really didn't pay attention-.

It was like my diary, almost, since I hadn't written in my blog since forever.

I sighed, feeling frustrated. I was crazy. Yes, that's it. Crazy. And that was why I couldn't decided something as easy as who I liked more.

As I thought about that, and wrote, I must've fallen asleep because I woke up some time later with the weight of a body falling next to me, crashing it's head on my laptop, and pushing the computer to the floor carelessly.

"Beware!" I exclaimed trying to grab it, but all I did was crashed my breast on his face.

Harry smirked, with his eyes close. "Thanks for your way of cheering me up." He said. I didn't know what to say to that, so I didn't say anything, and just relax against the back of the sofa, taking my earphones out. Harry snuggled up on my lap, putting his arms around my waist. "You left." He muttered against my leg. Harry sounded sleepy.

"My head hurt. It was too loud." I stated, caressing his hair slowly, absentmindedly.

"It sucked, this show." Harry stated. "I made some stupid mistakes that were horrible."

"No, you didn't. It wasn't notorious. I heard it from here." I said softly. That was an oximoron, but I didn´t really realized it.

"So you notice. See? It sucked."

"Harry, I noticed it because I notice when Dougie's bass is out of tune just by one note." I snorted. "You started the drums of That girl instead of Smile, big deal."

"It is a big deal if you noticed it like that. I thought you didn't hear us before."

"Well, yes, but I did hear 5 Colors in Her Hair and I'd been hearing your music for the past six weeks."

Harry didn't answer that, and he yawned. We stayed in silence for some minutes after that, until he spoke again. "You left…" He whispered, about to fell asleep. "Don't do that again…"

And I did the most stupid thing I've done in my whole sexually-active -or driven, depending who was talking- life.

"Ok."

I _accepted_.

It was like a promise.

And I would feel terrible for braking it because he wasn't my cheating lying bastard boyfriend and I actually… didn't _want_ to break a promise to him.

I was freaking out.

Yep, freaking out. Completely.

And Harry had to go and make everything worst.

"I'll… write you… a song…" He whispered. Harry was clearly asleep.

And his voice gave me shivers all over my body.

I sighed to myself when he stopped talking completely and his even breath started to hit my skin. Harry was sleeping, and I needed to… get away. Far away.

_Like Tokyo. _

Yes, I could go to Tokyo, that seemed like a great idea.

But when I grabbed Harry's hands to take his arms off of me so I could get up, he hugged me closer.

"Don't go." He muttered. "Sleep with me."

Now, I would want to have you saying _no_ to **that**.

"Fine, fine. Just move a little."

Harry grinned sleepy like a little child, laying again in the sofa, moving toward the edge to leave me space between his body and the back of the sofa. He opened his arms to hold me, and I complied quickly, after grabbing a blanket and covering ourselves. Harry hugged me to his chest, snuggling my neck.

"I missed you the past week." He said.

I winced. "… Yeah…"

I liked him like this. It was weird to see sexual, dominant Harry _cuddling_ and saying he missed me, and making me promise him I wasnt going to leave one of his gigs ever again.

And I liked it.

_I'm deranged_.

"I like you a lot." I blurted out, feeling myself blushing.

His soft chuckle vibrated on my skin and trough my body.

"I like you too." Harry said, lowering his head to me and kissing my forehead.

I smiled at the gesture. But just as I was about to added something, James face appeared on my mind.

Can you see how deranged I am?

I'm crazy.

Harry's soft breathing took me out of my reverie, and made me concentrate on sleeping and not killing my head with worries.

But I didn't. Sleep, I mean. I stayed wide awake all night, just feeling his breathing against the top of my head. He muttered some things during the night, but I didn't understand anything. I forced myself to leave my mind blank, and once I did it around seven in the morning, I finally fall asleep.

… To be waken up half an hour later by Mike and his loud electro music.

Harry fell off the sofa because of the surprise, and I winced.

"Son of a bitch." I muttered, forcing the blanket over my eyes.

"Michael Hart!!" Harry complained when he managed to sit on the floor and react.

"Hi, lovelies. How are you this lovely morning?" Mike asked grinning. He looked us over, noticing the same clothes that yesterday, and smiled proudly. Probably thinking that if we were clothed, then it was because we were just sleeping. Or something like that.

Mike has this awful concept of me. He thinks I'm some kind of… sleeping-around bitch…

"What did you find out?" I muttered, taking the blanket out of the way. Harry moved up the sofa, already completely active –which was a miracle, mind you-, and I leaned toward him, closing my eyes.

"Me? Nothing!" Mike stated, but too chirpy to believe him. "I have the pictures! Nick brought them so we could choose the bests!"

That was enough for my sleepiness to disappear. "Really?!" I exclaimed happily, jumping from my place toward Harry. Mike didn't wait much, and put the DVD in the plasma screen –now, who the hell has a plasma screen in a _bus_?-.

After kicking Harry out –the book was supposed to be a surprise until it was finish for the guys-, Mike and I expend at least four hours laughing and choosing pictures. When we finally finished, we had already arrived to Lancaster, the arena show for that day. Seeing as it was 12 o'clock and the gig started at 10 at night, Mike offered –actually, he announced I didn't have a chance- to take me shopping for longer pants. In deference to him, I wore my longest blue skirt, barely reaching my knees, and a white tank top, and my purple pumps.

We barely said good bye as soon as the bus stopped, and Mike dragged me to Dorothy Perkins first. Shopping with Mike was as fun as it was annoying. He never let you observe enough if you like it or not. He was always deciding for you –and yes, he always decided right- telling you what to wear and what not to wear. But when you were done, you couldn't find a single piece of clothing –from underwear, jewelry and accessories to trousers, shirts, dresses and customs- that didn't look good in you or with the rest of the clothing. He was a genius, a god, a…

"Master. That's what I'm going to call you from now on. Master Mike." I laughed, as we moved toward Wallis Fashion.

He looked at me surprised, arching an eyebrow. "Oh, yes, you're so cute."

"Not only that." I announced, stopping in the middle of the walkway. Seeing it was lunch time, almost everyone was inside having lunch, so I had the whole street for my self. "_I'm sexy, I'm cute. I'm popular to boot!_" I sang, doing the routine exactly as it was in the movie. What?! I'm a Bring It On fan, thank you very much.

Mike laughed as he watched me dance around the walkway because he hadn't another choice –I mean, I was _cheering_ on the street-, but I knew he wasn't a big fan of my antics. He enjoyed them nonetheless, so I didn't stop doing them.

"_Who am I? Just guess! Guys wanna touch my chest. I'm rocking, I smile, and many think I'm vile! I'm flying, I jump, you can look but don´t you hump, whoo!_" I jumped in that part. I didn't mind I was catching more attention than ever, and I kept dancing and singing. "_I'm major, I roar. I swear I'm not a whore!!_" I sang really loud, ready to finish my routine. "_We cheer and we lead. We act like we're on speed! You hate us 'cause we're beautiful, well we don´t like you either!! We're cheerleaders, we are cheerleaders!_"

And I finish with a great jump to Mike's back. A group of boys sitting in one of the pubs clapped at me, and I smiled widely and winked an eye at them. Mike tried to get rid of me, but he didn't managed to do so.

"Piggy back!" I exclaimed happily, and after some meters, he sighed, giving in. "Yay!" I celebrated.

"Ok, fine. I'll give you a piggy ride and also carry your bags, BUT, you have to tell me what the hell is going on with Harry. And why did you lie to him and didn't tell him about your date with James."

I paled. I knew I paled because I felt the same you feel when you stand up too quickly after hours sitting.

But I played it cool. "What are you talking about, Harry doesn't know? Huh?" I demanded that guy to explain himself, not really paying attention. I just wanted to keep his attention in other part.

Of course, it didn't work. "You know what I'm talking about."

"It must've slipped my mind. I was quite sure he knew. Oh, well…"

"Not so fast, darling! You like Harry." Mike stated.

I gaped at him. I really did. And while doing that almost drooled because I was so shocked I didn't mind to close my mouth. "_What_?"

"What I said. You like Harry, Tallulah. You can't fool me. Now what I'm trying to figure out is way you're with James."

"Because I like him too." I said easily, shrugging.

As long as the word _like_ didn't turn into _love_, then I was ok with everything. Really.

"You know what I mean, Tallulah. Don't play fool with me."

I sighed. "Mike, I like them both." I announced.

My friend stopped talking. I knew that had surprised him a lot, because I wasn't the kind of girl to just blurt that out. And with _liking_… I could actually mean something really close to all the people named _love_.

"I see." Mike said slowly, calling a cab. Once we were inside, he turned to me. "You have a gift, my friend. But I can understand you. I would love to have them both in my bed…" He grinned.

"I didn't sleep with James… _yet_." I clarified.

That was even more shocking for James than whatever I could've actually do. "Wow.. I didn't expect that, seriously. You too deep into him, then?"

"But I can´t stop thinking of Harry when I'm with James. And vice versa." I confessed.

Mike nodded thoughtfully, but didn't say anything, and ten minutes later, he was on shopping-high again, dragging me to a shoes store. But I knew better than that, and I was sure that was only to keep me occupied. He was not going to leave things like that, it was in his nature.

Mike Hart was planning something.

* * *

**_Yeay! I have one more old reader back! I'm so happy, this is slowly starting to work again, and if I'm lucky enough, I'll get a lot of reviews again! XD But don´t feel jealous, I love all my fans the same! -Oh, shut it, let me think I have a fans, please??? Let me think I have a loooot of fans and a lot of shy fans that don´t want me to know them XD- But, really, thanks to all! You own XD_**

**_And my new beta owns too! She's amazing. Thanks Hope-Change!! I love you and I promise to kidnap him for you! -if only for the ice-cream factory XD-_**

**_Well, that's all of my crazy ramble for the moment._**

**_Love!!_**

**_XOXO_**

**_Odd._**


	12. 11

XI

NEW POST from _**Crazy. Betty. Page*…………………………..……………………………………………**__05:58 hs_

Location: _The bus_

Mood: _Sleepy_

Music: _The sounds of the road._

It's been forever and a year since I last post! And oh so many things had happened in that time.

For example, I've been in Manchester, Bolton, Preston, Lancaster, Kendall, Carlisle and Moffat. Can you believe it? So many places in like… two weeks? I think it was less than that…

Oh, well…

For all of you who care, I'm completely recovered of my feet –I can´t say the same about my mind, but that doesn´t have cure- and I'm able to jump, run, and dance as much as I love to! I was almost like high on freedom the first time I was able to go out.

And now it doesn´t even hurt like the first week after I started walking.

The tour is great. Even when I wasn´t sure at first, I'm falling in love with traveling now, and I know I'm going to miss every single one of the people involved in the tour. Like, really, really miss them. It's so not going to be the same wake up in my bed –that, alone, would be a great thing to get use to- without hearing Mikey's voice complaining or just being mean and waking me up... or have dinner on a still table with proper food. I'm going to miss the sight of my window. I'm going to miss the boys! And M and G, of course, because they're great.

Wondering where am I right now?

As you can tell if you read my LOCATION, I'm on the bus. Just some hours ago we left Moffat, and we have a whole day to reach Blantyre to do a gig at seven o'clock, and then Larkhall at 11 PM. Poor boys, are going to be fucking tired.

On the other hand, every day is a day less until I see J again. Since he left, I'd been working my head up just to realize… where the hell I'm standing –oh, and, BTW, I already have the pictures!!! Isn´t that swell??- with him. And with H.

But I didn´t really pay especial attention at the problem, but at the time of solution. Choosing would mean I would have to give up the other???

…. See? This is why I'm not good for steady relationships. I tend to look for the next conquest even when I didn´t finish my current one.

I have some deep troubles. I'm deranged.

But, anyway, about the happy things…

Oh! I heard some rumors. Some rumors about some bands and all. Rumors and things. Quirky things. It's pretty cool to eavesdrop on the manager's affairs. F it's quite crazy when he wants to be. For example, last night, before the boys went to stage, he told them to _break an arm_. Can you see how wrong and crazy and random and completely inappropriate that was? And when I corrected him and told him it was actually_break a leg_, he stated that if the boys used their arms, the phrase should be 'brake an arm' because if one of them would brake his leg, he would deal to be on stage whether he was suffering like a damned man, or not.

That made me snickered. I let him believe whatever he wanted and kissed all the boys' cheeks for good luck. That was a habit M had passed on me and G, something very _Argentinean_ of her.

And now I'm here on the bus, and I can´t sleep.

Maybe it's because of his soft snoring?

Oh, yeah. Just so you know H made a habit of sleeping on my _bed_. So he is now sleeping next to me. He is beautiful when he is asleep, so calm and quiet…

Ok, I'm going to stop writing now. I'm saying stupid things already, and we don´t want you all to hear stupid things, right??

Not more than you already do, anyway.

Or is it read? I'm never really sure about these things. I have a friends that reads out loud every mail, so maybe it's hear? Oh, well….

Oh! If any of you get me Blue's or V's CDs, I would highly appreciate it!

Love!!!

A sleepy _**TNA**_

**PS:** I'm not on the look out for a boyfriend now, I'm already messed up with the current boys in my life…. Just thought you should know in case you were trying to hook me up with Leonardo DiCaprio.

Love!!

_XOXO_

_**TNA**_

_Ok, so my FF wasn´t working well and it didn´t let me change this or update, so I wasn´t able to do so__. It still doesn´t let me to edit the file, so I have to add everything before. Mister FF hates me, I'm sure. But here you have the next chapter. For the long wait, I'll post next chapter tomorrow, or even in a few hours. I just want to get more reviews TT Can I? Like an earlier birthday present? XD_

_Oh, well. Enjoy!_

_Love_

_**XOXO**_

_Odd_


	13. 12

**XII**

I flinched.

I hated this.

…Then again, why the hell did I decided on a _corset_, huh? It sucked. And I couldn´t breath. It was like… Chinese torture.

Too bad the dress made me look incredibly gorgeous. God bless Narciso Rodriguez and friends who know him.

You're probably wondering where the hell I am.

Well… three blind guesses.

Number one: In bed with Josh Hartnett.

Nope. Although I wouldn't mind him. At all. So if you know him….

…And I would probably not have my clothes on if it was him. Right?

Number two: Shopping.

Nope. Who would go shopping with a Narciso Rodriguez dress? And a _corset_?! Who in their right mind indeed?

…. Not that I am on my right mind, anyway….

Ok, back to the point. Last but not least…

Number three: My cousin's wedding.

Ding ding ding!! Correct!!

You're _good_!

And the Wicked Witch is dead, but that's a different story. Or song, or whatever.

Let me explain something, ok?

As he had promised, Mike had got me the lovely dress. As James had promised, he was there like my boyfriend. And as Fletch had promised, the boys had two days off so they could tag along. Why, I don´t exactly know. It made me feel _nervouser_. Does that word even exist? Well, that's how confused the whole thing made me felt.

"Hey, are you ok?" James whispered on my ear, taking me out of my reverie. Who could not like him when he looked seriously concerned asking you that and he was not trying to peak down at your cleavage?

I nodded with a fake smile on my lips seeing as we were entering the church. "Not really." I whispered back. I felt like I had to tell him the truth somehow. I don´t know why.

"Want to sit down?"

"No, don´t worry."

I had survived talking to all my family and introducing my super-cute super-sexy super-famous boyfriend and dealing with everyone's nasty glares about my wonderful white dress. So I could probably survive to just walking some meters under my ex friends and my ex boyfriend's friends and the slut of my cousin's friends' murdering glares. I could feel their stares on me, gossiping and looking me up and down. In any other situation, I would probably have enjoyed it. Not now.

I had to suppress a smirk at their stunned glances, anyway. James, however, didn´t contain himself, and leaned toward me once we were sitting in the row across the aisle, with the Mcfly boys, Fletch, Mike, Gioo, Maggie and Dougie's _friend_, Alisha. My grandparents had moved earth and sky when I told them I was going to the wedding so I wouldn´t be alone and…. Wait. Now that I think about it….. My granny was very capable of talking to Mike and Fletch herself to make them all come.

_I love my grandparents. They __**rock!**_

I smiled softly when I realized that, if I was alone, I would have probably… I don´t know, done something really OOC and start crying, or something weird like that.

"Now, babe, I really can´t understand why you used to hang out with _them._" James said in a supposedly hushed voice that clearly reached the ears of the stupid people around us. Harry – who was sitting next to me by some magic strength called Mikey the Stupid Cupid- smirked sadistically. He knew the whole story, because I had told it to him just before the wedding. Harry didn´t talk to me after that, and I knew now he was planning something. He was mad at me for not telling him "something that important," and I really didn´t know why I felt that way too, because it didn´t have any logic.

I smiled sweetly. "When you live inside an H&M, you can´t really see the difference between handmade and Narciso Rodriguez. They wouldn´t appreciate the art of a genius. I can´t tell a genius what color to paint his masterpiece." I smirked with a tone that was pretending to be falsely apologetically, looking directly to Sheila Waltz, my cousin's best friend, who used to be my friend too, as cliché as it is. I know I can sound mean, but I was feeling confident, having two gorgeous boys next to me and a wonderful dress on. A wonderful _white_ dress on that was probably ten times more beautiful than the bride's one.

As the music started to sound, everyone got to their positions, and the bridesmaids started to walk down the aisle. Some minutes later, the bride appeared, looking as gorgeous as ever. But her princess-like dress had nothing on my Narciso's. And that only made me feel better. Stronger.

Emily looked amazing in a white dress, with blue roses on her long blonde hair and a bouquet of blue flowers on her hand. She walked as if she ruled the world, until her eyes stopped on me a second. I was probably like a giant neon green dot in a black page, with my white dress, rivaling with hers. Emile glared at me with hate, and I just smiled politely, crossing my legs, and leaning to kiss James on the cheek. When I did that, I felt a hand sneaking around my waist, stopping right up my butt, invisible to the eyes of everyone around me but very consistent for me.

Harry's hand felt warm against my body, and it immediately relaxed me, as I sat back. He didn´t move his hand, as James grabbed my other hand on his.

"See? This is going great." He said in a low voice.

I nodded, starting to feel sick as the couple said their vows. It shouldn´t have, but it annoyed me to no end that he had the nerve to charm my family once he was done with me. He didn´t deserve to be liked by them, and one would think everyone would suppose he could do the same to Emily. But _no_, in the Chesterfield—Callhoum-McKoy household, everyone knew Emily was the good one, the one everything came as she wanted it to.

I was the redhead.

With the gorgeous legs. Emily could never pull a short dress like I could, and that was enough to make me happy.

I decided to zone off during the ceremony, and when I took notice, we were right in the middle on the party in a salon in an apart table. The bitch had done that on purpose.

"Want some, miss?" The young waiter offered me his tray of champagne, and I looked at it a little dazed.

"No, actually. I want a Bloody Marie. Could you do that for me?" I smiled my sweetest smile.

"Anything for you." The boy smirked, turning around.

"Hey, don´t flirt with my girl!" James complained. He had gone dancing with Maggie, and now he sat next to me. I smiled sweetly.

Ok. I was going to have a ball. Free drink and food, right? Hell _yeah_.

The first Bloody Marie was drank and enjoyed, and soon came two Margaritas, one Tequila Sunrise, and one Blueberry Tequila. Harry was the only one who drank like me because James had drove some of us in, and the rest were just enjoying the party without the necessity of getting plastered to cope. Harry had accepted to drink after fifteen minutes of a drunken _moi_ begging.

And now he was worst than me.

…Which is saying a lot, because I lost count of how much I was drinking after the fourth or fifth tequila.

I was dancing with James to the sound of Akon's Belly dancer Bananza, when Harry approached us and started dancing with me. If it wasn´t because I already have a dirty mind without the help of Tequila, I would have said that was the first time I had thought of having a threesome with them. But I can tell that was the first time I _really_ thought about _doing_ it. It was so sexy having them both to myself. I loved it.

It felt easy to move between them, like there was nothing else in the world but their bodies and mine. We danced for a couple of songs, until a stumbling Harry announced he was off to get some drinks.

That was when I realized, somehow, we ended next to the couple, and Emily had the cheek to actually talk to us.

"So, _Nico_, I can tell you work your way good, huh?" Emily said with venom.

Now before you get too confuse, Nico's my second name. My full name is Tallulah Nico Aubrey Callhoum McKoy, thank you very much. Emily always called me Nico, saying that, since it was a _boys_ name in Spanish, it suited me better than Tallulah. She didn´t have the slightest idea who Nico actually was, but I wasn´t going to hold it against her.

Nope.

… Not really.

_Stupid cow…_

"Excuse me. Are you talking to my girlfriend?" James interrupted. Emily's voice changed completely when she heard him.

"Oh, it's such a pleasure to meet you! I'm, like, your biggest fan. It was such a shame Busted broke up." She said, as if I didn´t even exist.

_Oh!_

It took me some moments, but I finally remembered. In my completely obsessed state –plus drunk- I couldn´t remember things correctly. The slut was Busted's fan. I had never really liked them that much, especially because she liked them, but now… I didn´t mind.

"Thanks." James said coldly, not paying her any attention and making a show of it that even in my state I noticed.

Emily didn´t even notice. "It would be so amazing if you could… sing a song for us. Please? As a wedding gift?"

I was about to say good bye to James, supposing he was going to accept –you know, press and all…. And the fact everyone liked Emily better than me always and I never could get rid of **that**-, but he shook his head. "Sorry, but I'm only here because Tallulah here still thinks all of you deserve her time." James stated.

And just as he said that, Harry appeared next to me, pointing with his finger to the asshole of my ex. He was visibly drunk, but so was I. So what?

"You're the mother fucker that cheated on her?" He asked.

"What are you talking about?" the boy said, taking a step back. He wasn´t the bravest. I snickered. _Coward!_

"Yes, you are! You're an asshole. I really don´t know why you did that. Especially not for an insipid blonde." Harry stated.

I giggled.

"You know what?" James said, pushing both Harry and me a little behind, sensing some trouble on our way. "Thank you."

Emily glared at me. "Why?"

"For ruining everything you had with her. Congratulations, by the way. Cross your fingers, thought, darling." James said to Emily, flashing his cutest smile. "Maybe he won´t do the same to you." He said, pushing me and Harry toward the table. But I stopped before going to far.

I turned to glare at my cousin. "Just so you know, Nico was the singer for one of the best CDs EVER and the _gorgeousest_ model EVER! But you're an uncultured bitch that never really heard The Velvet Underground." I stated, pointing at her. James snickered as Harry laughed out loud, and we walked away, stopping next to our now empty table, where we weren´t in sight of the rest of the party. See ho much of a bitch she was? I'm sure she even told them to keep the good things in the central part of the room. The slut.

"Mate, that was great!" Harry exclaimed, patting James' back.

He grinned. "You gave me the start."

I smiled, and put my arms around both of their necks. "Thank you so much! You're the best." I announced as they hugged me. If I have to admit it now…. Well, my words kinda slurred…

But that wasn´t important.

Because, suddenly, I felt my face wetting, and I realized I was crying. _Actually_ crying.

Did I mention I was drunk?

Because I was. I couldn´t even think clear.

"Hey, hey. What's wrong?" James asked, tilting my face up with a finger under my chin. I looked at him and shrugged, not letting them go.

"I-I d-don´t-t k-know." I said softly, closing my eyes. I felt Harry's hand on my waist, moving slowly until it was touching my skin on my back. I could practically _hear_ his smirk.

"Want us to make it better?" He said sensually, as he started to nib my earlobe.

I didn´t open my eyes. I was afraid it was all a dream.

James answered immediately, following his game. "Want us to _kiss_ it better?" He asked, as he slowly licked my lower lip.

"Want me to touch you here?" Harry asked, sliding his hand down toward my bum, and then, slowly, toward my groin.

"Or here?" James added, with his hand over one of my breasts. I was starting to breath harder and harder, biting my lips.

"Want us to go to a room?" Harry offered when his lips reached my shoulder after he started kissing my neck.

That time, I nodded.

Come on. Could you really have said no to _them_?

I would have accepted even if I wasn´t drunk as hell and feeling rejected.

Looking back, I don´t have the slightest idea how we managed to climb to the elevator, mark a room, actually get off in that room, opening the door, and end up in the bed.

But we did it.

… Although, we lost our clothes on the way there, but I'm pretty sure that was what we wanted since the beginning.

The worst part was that… between kissing them and touching them and licking them… I fall asleep.

I must have, because when I opened my eyes, I was facing a bright sun shining inside, and an urge to throw up. But I couldn´t move, because I had arms around my waist, keeping me where I was. I tried to fight them down, but I was never known for my strength. So I did the only thing I could think of.

I squealed.

Loud.

Both boys jumped off of me, and I ran to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me, and leaning over the toilet. I threw up all the contents of my stomach and more, for at least fifteen minutes. I would never understand why I drunk so much when the morning after was awful.

Just thinking of that made my heart ache, and I wasn´t even talking about the threesome with…

_Fuck it_.

I looked up from the toilet, to found James kneeled behind me, keeping my hair out of the way, and Harry sitting next to me, with his back against the wall and his eyes closed.

"Better?" James wondered, letting my hair go.

I nodded slowly, checking them up. _Ok, great washboard stomach… hot arms… nice chest… _**boxers**_!_ I turned to Harry, to get a similar sight. He grinned.

"Enjoying the view?"

I didn´t even answer as a new retch came to me, forcing me to lean again over the toilet.

"Am I that ugly?" Harry laughed.

"Yes." I muttered putting my head over my arms on the toilet. "My head's spinning." I announced.

"Mine too." James stated, with his hands on my hair again.

_Ok… I should ask_… If they had their boxers on, that could only mean one thing, right? _That they got dressed to come for me?_ Or that we didn´t have sex.

"Hm…" I started. I was not sure what to say, seeing that I was kinda falling in love with both. "About yesterday…"

James understood quickly what I meant, and shook his head. "We didn´t do anything that I can remember." He said cheekily. He didn´t even have the decency to blush. Boys these days…

"I do remember an amazing blowjob, though…" Harry said thoughtfully. I smacked his arm, and he just grinned. "But it wasn't _yours_. I bet you're even better."

"Of course." I said laughing. I tied my hair on top of my head with the ribbon I had in my wrist, looking at the floor. Somehow, it was amazing the fact I didn´t feel uncomfortable with James and Harry almost naked in the bathroom with me. "What time's it?" I wondered, moving up to the washbasin, and cleaning my face, the song of High School Musical sounding inside my head.

_Summertime! It's our vacation! What time is it? Party time!_

"Almost noon." James stated, looking at his watch. I nodded.

"Ok. I'm going to have a shower, and you two… are going to do whatever you want." I stated, standing up and opening the door for them. I didn´t even care I was naked from my waist up.

James grinned. "Whatever we want?" Harry laughed.

"Yes." I stated, smiling sensually. "_**Out**_ of the bathroom." I added, pushing them both out and closing the door.

Ok, that was good.

I jumped inside the shower, forcing every kind of worrying thoughts out of my mind. That was the best way of dealing with them. If I need to get worried, I would do it when I was needed to, and not before. And now, everything was wonderful.

_Oh, yes. I'm fine. Everything's just wonderful. I'm having the time of my life._

I washed my hair carefully, and when I was done, I stayed under the shower until it turned cold. Showers were always a soothing thing for me, and I preferred a shower than a bubbles bath. And it was best when it was cold, because it was like rain.

And I loved the rain.

And to sing, I always loved to sing.

_I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain. What a glorious feelin', I'm happy again._

I grabbed a towel and dried my hair, I put another around my body, and I turned on the blow drier. I was still singing when someone opened the door, and dancing too, so as I was doing my fantastic line with an almost grand jétè –the bathroom was too little to do a full jump-, I slipped with the wet floor and the cable of the blow drier and prolonged the last syllable of the _Why do I get up each morning and start?_ Into a full out yelled of surprise as I pictured myself in a very painful situation in the floor.

However, Harry caught me before that.

But regrettably, now he was fully clothed.

"Girl, weren't you supposed to be hang over?" He asked, his hands firm on my hips.

"Nope. Once I throw up and have a shower, I'm perfect." I smiled.

"Good. I think we should get going. Mike and Fletch are going to freak out." He said, pressing me closer to him, sliding one of his hands to my butt. His grip wasn´t gentle, but I didn´t mind. It was sexy.

_Likes her gentlemen not to be gentle. Was it a Mecca Dobber or a betting pencil? Oh, that's a slag. The best you ever had, the best you ever had…_

"Tallulah, you're scary. You know that?" Harry asked, but I didn´t really pay attention to his words because he slam me against the wall and licked my cheek.

"I'm just… singing." I stated, looking in his eyes.

_Oh, god_.

He was _pissed_. Really pissed. He didn´t seem mad when we were all in the bathroom, but now that we were alone, he showed it. Or maybe I had just realized. I hadn´t really looked at his face before…. And by the way…

"Where's James?" I asked, unable to look away **now**.

_Bloody hell, why did I say that?! Why I couldn´t ask other things?!_

His eyes flamed with anger. "He left. His cousin called him." Harry asked with measured voice, calm, polite, cold, and… _scary_.

"Oh. Good." I said, trying to smile.

Harry grabbed me by my upper arms, pushing me out of the bathroom. "_Good_?"

"Yeah." I said. Ok, my feared had a short life. Now, I was starting to get pissed. "**Good**." I retaliated.

Harry glared at me, pushing me harshly to the bed. He didn´t let me say anything, when he kissed me forcefully, showing dominance, power and strength. Of course, me being me, I didn´t want to let him have it so I kissed him back with just the same force, trying to win him over.

It was just a matter of math that the next minute my towel was on the desk and his clothes all around the floor.

Have you ever had angry sex?

Well, if you didn´t, then you have to know that it's the best thing in the _universe_. Maybe it's just me and my kinky brain, but it was just amazing, so emotional, so full of _feeling_, of hate, and passion, and lust. Poetry in motion of the best kind.

I leaned over the desk panting as he let his weight over me a little so he wouldn't crush me. We were both breathless after trying almost every single spot in the room to fuck each other's brains out. I had bruises that would probably last at least a month –being a redhead and all- and he had his back and chest completely scratched with my nails; he even had a small cut in his cheek, and his lips were swollen. Like mine.

"I'm guessing I'm not one of your favorite persons in the world right now." He said. Those were the first words muttered in the room in the last two hours. Harry bit hard my shoulder before letting me speak.

I winced, and instead of answering, I moved my hips against his groin, and then I pushed him off of me. I walked around the room gathering my clothes. "I'm just wondering how I'm going explain this." I said pointing to a bright red and purple hickey in the little space between my collarbones.

"No one would care." Harry stated, helping me with the clasp of my bra.

"You're wrong. Everyone will notice and I know Mike can´t keep his mouth close." I complained.

"You had sex. Big deal."

"It is, because the only person I could have sex with is you, Harry. James already left. I can´t have sex with you because I'm _working _for you or with you or whatever. It's unethical. And I can get fired. And everyone it's going to annoyed the hell out of me because I fucked the popstar and I would be a groupie."

"Then…" He inhaled deeply and averted his eyes from me, sliding his hands to my stomach along with the dress, pressing me to him. "You can say you were fucking your boyfriend."

That took me by surprise. Did he…? Was he trying to…?

I stared at him in his reflection on the mirror in front of me.

_Oh, bloody hell. He was sincere. He really meant it_.

So I did the only thing I could find reasonable.

I laughed. _Hard_.

Harry just kept staring at me across the mirror.

I kept laughing, pushing him apart from me and fixing my dress.

"You're joking, right?" I laughed. It was the stupidest thing ever.

"No." He said coldly.

"Oh." I stopped completely, and I didn´t know what to do or say anymore. So I just kept grabbing my things, and putting on my fishnets and my heels.

"Tallulah." He stopped me when I grabbed my purse. I turned to look at him, at the verge of tears.

That was wrong. He wasn´t supposed to say something. He wasn´t supposed to ask me to be official. "Can you bloody answer?" He pressed. His fingers were leaving a red mark that was going to turn into a bruise sooner rather than later.

"Harry…" I said. But I didn´t know what the hell to say. So I muttered the only words that my brain kept repeating over and over and over. "I'm sorry."

***

_Here you go, another chapter. Kinda weird chapter, I know, but hopefully it won´t scare you away XD_

_My FF is _still_ not working well, so anything wrong, blame it on him ¬¬ Ok, ok, not ANYTHING, must most of it XD._

_Love!!_

_**XOXO**_

_Odd._


	14. 13

**XIII**

Life was hell.

After that awful day, life became hell in the worst and most literal way.

Harry _hated _me.

And he made sure to make me know it.

Every single chance he got.

He stopped talking to me as soon as we got to Glasgow, and he didn't talk to me the whole two days we were there. I took advantage of the fact that James was there to ignore him too, but it was difficult when I had to interview him almost every day, and he would just ignore me or answer with monosyllables. Because it _hurt_. A lot.

It was worst than finding the pet you loved dead by poison or something like that.

Everyone noticed something was wrong, but I avoided every single one of their approaches to the subject.

What could I say without sounding like a bitch or stupid? That I laughed at his face when he was sort of confessing? That I think I loved him, and still I rejected him? That all I could think at that moment was all of what I was going to _lose_?

So I kept my mouth shut, acting too perky, too happy, too loud and too noisy so no one would notice just how deep it hurt. But I couldn't sing anymore. In my life, singing was something like breathing. I didn't care if I sang well, in tune, or plain bad. I needed to sing... anything. But now I couldn't. I just… _couldn't_.

Harry made my life impossible as much as he could. Ignoring me, pushing me if we had to walk side by side, making nasty comments and stealthily insulting me. I was tempted to hit him more than once, and the same amount of tempting occasions to kiss him. Of course, I didn't just stand there taking his advances. I insulted him just as hard, I pushed him back, I pretend he didn't exist. But that ended up being counterproductive.

I tried to keep it to myself, but everything changed when Maggie cornered me one day during a show. She took the opportunity when I had stayed to cover for one of the girl on wardrobe that had a date with her soon to be husband, and she realized that, of course, that was the best place to attack me. Maggie sat next to me while I was fixing a belt –Danny's belt again, he had a thing with belts… or maybe it was Maggie?- and she just stared at me.

I tried to ignore her, but after fifteen minutes, I couldn't take it anymore and I blurted out everything. Everything about Harry, about James, about Jared and about my ex boyfriends. Everything about my feelings, about Harry's confession and about my confusion. _Everything_. But the time I ended, another fifteen minutes had gone by, and I was crying on Maggie's shoulder.

And that was when the door opened.

"Lula, we have an emerg-…!!" Danny started loudly smiling. I moved away of Maggie too fast to be normal and cleaned my face, but the boys –Danny and Dougie at least- acted as if they didn't notice. "An emergency! Tom's doing his solo and Harry's pants are falling off more than necessary." Danny continued, blocking my sight from Harry's while I freshened up a little. I smiled at him as Maggie pated my back.

"Oh, mate! They left my bass outdoors!" Dougie said and stormed out of the room. Danny and Maggie founded a different excuse, but just as stupid, and then I was alone with Harry. I sighed, and grabbed the little sewing basket. Harry closed the door behind him and stood in the middle of the room, without even glancing at me.

I sighed.

If that was how he was going to do it, then great.

He didn't even move to show where it was, so I had to moved his shirt up and located the broken button. I started to sewed it, but, maliciously enough, I sewed the jeans and his pants together. It was hard to contain my smirk as I did so, but I _did_ have to contain myself of picturing at the moment he realized that because I wouldn't be able to control my laughter any longer.

Harry moved away too fast when I was finished –or seconds before I was finish, actually- which resulted in me pinching him with the needle. I couldn't help but laughed.

"Stupid!" He exclaimed, grabbing my arm too forcefully, taking me up from the floor to his eye level. I stood up and glared at him.

"You did that yourself! I didn't pinched you, asshole." I retorted. Harry's eyes flamed up with hate and he tossed me about too harshly. "That hurts!"

"You deserve it!" He said coldly. I stopped moving and glared at him. "You're a whore. And you're not even a good whore."

And then, I slapped him.

_Hard_.

Harry looked surprised when I did that, but when he reacted, he slammed me to the wall, making me hit my head hard against it. So when he launched to me, I hit him again. But… Somehow, my arms ended up on his neck, pushing him closer, as his lips devoured mine.

Soon enough, I regained control, and slapped him.

Again.

Oh, I was slowly digging my own grave.

"I may be a whore, but you're not that good, Judd. And believe me, you're **not** big." I stated, walking off of the wardrobe room.

I was shaking,

I passed Dougie, Danny and Maggie, but I completely ignored them and went straight to the bus. I grabbed my laptop, and started to write everything I could think, being particularly mean to Harry's persona. He wasn't my favorite guy right there and I used all my wit and intellect to write something mean and nasty without really sounding like it. I took particular interest in describing some completely ridiculous and invented declarations of a bad treated ex girlfriend and some rumors about his sexuality.

Hell, if he wanted to be childish and immature, I could be just the same. And god knew I was Miss Revenge.

When I was done with it, I re-read it, amazed with myself. It was a piece of complete hatred and icy-cold evilness.

I seriously contemplated just keeping it to myself, but when I saw my arm where he had grabbed me, where four long red marks were starting to turned purplish and greenish, I decided against it.

I sent it to a celebrity's blog out of pure maliciousness, and sat to watch the world burn…

Alright, that's too dramatic.

I just sat there sadistically enjoying the number of increasing views the page was getting second after second. Oh, I was amazing and my trump card was fantastic. I was chuffed.

I was real proud of myself as I read the comments about supposed rumors of Harry's love life. Someone said they had seen him too lovey-dovey with a boy, other one said he had broke a guy's sister's heart. And the list went on.

So engrossed in that, I didn't even notice time passing by, and when I looked up from my computer it was already dark and the show had ended. It was our last day in Edinburgh, and we were supposed to sleep on the bus as we went to the airport to take a plain to Perth. Just some more hours to bear with Harry the Wanker and I then would be free.

Mike and Jack came inside some minutes after we departed, saying hi to me, and going straight to their little beds. A too tiring day it was. A while later, the bus started, so I assumed Harry was in too. I decided to stay upstairs for as long as I could, not wanting to face him, but when I decided I was being a pillock and I walked down again, he wasn't there. Instead of finding Harry, I saw Maggie and Danny.

_Oh, bugger!_

"Hum… Hi, guys. I'm… just going to sleep." I faked a yawn. "Good ni-"

"No way, missy." Danny said, snickering to himself.

"You're going to sit here and tell us what's this whole… stupid fight is about." Maggie ordered.

"You slap Harry, right? And not once. He had his face red the rest of the show and even when we went to drink some water." It didn't sounded like he finding particularly bad, but as if he was saying _wickedly cool, girl!!_.

I sighed. "I don´t have the slightest idea what you're talking about. Good ni-"

Again, Maggie interrupted me. "Please. Just spill. We have at least a month of tour and if you two kept like this, eventually someone will get hurt."

"Maggie." I whined and she smirked. Of course, she knew what was really happening, at least the best part.

"Yeah, I know. But I don´t get what happened today. I do have some theories, though."

"You know?!" Danny complained.

Maggie laughed sheepishly. "Of course, babe. She's my friend. I _know_. Can I tell him?"

"Oh, what the hell. For all I care, I could even give him the dirtiest details of my sex life." I sighed defeated.

Maggie didn't wait much to do as she was told, and told Danny everything I had told her about my dilemma. It was almost too funny to see his face contorted with every new revelation. When she finished, he was gasping.

"So… But!... And then… Girl, you're something else." He finally grinned. "Lucky tart."

"Hey!" I laughed at his choice of words. I couldn't help it.

"So, all this has an easy solution."

Maggie was as surprised as me with this statement, and we wondered about it at the same time. Danny grinned happily wit himself.

"Well, you see. You have to become a lesbian. That way you would not only _not_ have to choose, but you would be also satisfying the fantasy of every man."

"Pervert!" The pretty brunette snorted, smacking her husband's arm.

"That would hardly solve anything. If something, it would only help to make things worst. I would fall for a girl and then things would get _even more _complicated." I sighed dramatically.

Danny laughed, and Maggie smiled softly. It was amazing seeing those two together, because it was more than clear they loved each other. They complemented each other, like a soul mate would. It was cute and lovely in a good way.

They heard me complained for hours about all that was happening, from Harry's attitude to my attitude, to James, to touring to _everything_. They were great, hearing me all along and advising me when they thought something would help me.

All my problems seemed stupid and shallow when I put them in words. The only problem was, actually, thinking about who I really liked. Was it James? Harry? Someone else? I couldn't be sure, because I wasn't a girl who decided.

Not at all.

I had spent all my life without having to choose. If I like a boy when I was dating another, I would still flirt with him if the opportunity came. If I wanted ice-cream, I would ask for as many flavors I could. If I loved Barbie and her boutique and Barbie Medieval, then my mother would get me both. I couldn't even choose between careers or calling a boy or not. I was messed up. Seriously.

But sooner or later I was bounded to get a solution, right? Even if it came in the form of a bird.

So, anyway, as I explained just how exactly I was unable to choose, Maggie grinned happily, reading between lines. She was sure things would get better one way or the other, and that I was going to be fine. I wasn't one to really believe it, so I didn't.

When we went to sleep, it was already two in the morning, and I felt like someone knew, like the old me that could randomly blurt into song. I was Tall again, enjoying my day. So, we tried to sleep, but we didn't get to sleep much, because five hours later, Mike woke us up once we reached the airport.

The bur drivers helped us get our luggage in the airport, and then I waved goodbye to them. I sighed. I had in front of me an hour inside a plane, with someone who hated me and, with my luck, a crying baby. Thank god Maggie was coming with us, because I didn't think I could survive it on my own.

We didn't take long to board and take our places. Maggie sat with me, falling asleep just as her head hit the back of the seat. Danny and Tom were right in front of us, Mike and Fletch in front of them, and Dougie and Harry at our side. I had the seat of the window, and I surreptitiously observed Harry on his computer. I was wondering how the hell things had changed so much. But he was acting like a real cretin now and I wasn't going to try and reach him over. Not at least until I got a little revenge for his childish behavior and all the pain it caused.

And suddenly…

I heard the lovely sound of a bloody surprised Harry.

"Bugger!" He exclaimed. I took the advantage of my ipod earphones to pretend I wasn't really listening, but the ipod was off. I was almost positive he had just found out about my little story.

_Hell, I'm a vindictive bitch!_

I heard Dougie complaining about Harry's sudden yell, and soon after, his explanation with a lot of colorful words. It _was_ my little story, and it had made him more than angry.

I was seriously enjoying myself, with a soft smile on my face, pretending to be deep in thoughts looking through the window. Until I couldn't take it and when I heard a loud colorful swear from Harry, I giggled out loud. The boys turned to look at me, and I, with my sweetest innocent smile, took off my earphones.

"Did you ever listen to Avenue Q? It's hilarious!" I said grinning, and I started to sing songs of that play in a soft voice.

I smiled the rest of the trip, I grinned happily as we took our luggage and went on a limousine to our first hotel and even as I collapsed on my bed to a well deserved sleep. The whole afternoon I was on my room, sleeping. I could hear the boys in a room near mine talking about damages control; I would probably be needed to fix the interviews and do one myself. Not that I cared deeply, because now… we were even.

Or that's what I thought before turning around to find his flaming eyes.

* * *

_So, next chapter may take a while because I.... I have a huge writer's block. Harry's not acting as he should and Tallulah is as OOC as ever. Bad characters... Why they don´t behave like they're supposed so? I'm trying to add some James for all of you who loves him -you two know exactly who you are XD-, but it all depend on him. _

_And on a different set of news....... I'm going to literally put five colors in my head! Because I'm cool like that and it's my birthday and I can XD._

_That's all for now. _

_Love!_

_**XOXO**_

_Odd._

_PZ: Yeay!!! M. FF is working properly now! I'm delight XD_


	15. 14

**XIV**

I turned slowly, trying to find a way out, and then I stopped just to sit in front of Harry. I never really liked to be sitting when the other person was standing right next to me, but the distance between us was so little that I would probably have to push myself to stand up. I was a bitch and all, but I wasn't stupid.

"It was you." He said furiously.

I made a whole show to look up at his eyes, and I had to restrain my urge to laugh. Maybe it was hysterics, because I didn't feel like _laughing_ at all.

"The one who used to wear a bright green bra with yellow boy-shorts to a pajama party? Yep, you have that right."

Even when his eyes flashed furiously, I could see a hint of desire in them. Harry was probably picturing me with that outfit.

"Don't act stupid, Tallulah! You know damn well what I'm talking about!" He stated, towering over me with his height and piercing eyes. I was just a little bit scared, I must tell you.

"I'm the one who has to fix your stupid mistakes, if that's what you're talking about, then." I spat. I was never one to hold down when I was being baited.

… So maybe I have to re-think the 'not being stupid' thing…

"You're the one who **created** the mistakes!!" Harry yelled, reaching for my arm, but I moved out of his way. "_According to an ex girlfriend that preferred to keep her name hidden, Mister Judd stopped treating her well after the first month. 'He started insulting me when things didn´t go as he expected. A bad review for a CD, for a song…' She said, with the marks of a traumatic relation on her eyes._" He read.

I smiled proudly in my mind, which was a huge mistake, because that gave him the opportunity to grab my arm with all his force, squeezing my little arm between his fingers.

"That has your signature all over! Tell me you didn't write that to my face!"

"I didn't write that." I snapped, looking him in the eyes. I needed to added in my mind a _to your face_, just for the heck of it. I always was a _little_ stupid with dangerous things, like a deer caught in headlights or something like that. Having his clear eyes so close to me, I found it fascinating how they shined and flamed with rage and fury. I was hypnotized by them.

Ok, then. Stupid all the way.

"I know you wrote it!!" He insisted, frustrated, shaking me hard from side to side.

"Fine!!" I yelled back at him, glaring. "What if I did, huh? You deserved it!"

"I _deserved_ it?! I _**deserved it**_?! What the hell are you talking about?!"

_Uh-oh…. He lost it._

And I found him even hotter right there.

"Leave me alone, Judd." I hissed. "Leave me now. It's going to be hard to explain why I have a bruising arm, so if you don't want a worse story reaching the public eyes, leave me now!"

He smirked the most malicious smile ever, and I seriously thought about admitting myself into a mental institution. I was almost obsessed with bad boys. Not a good thing at all when you have one angry as hell in front of you and all you can think of is in stripping him and kissing him senselessly.

"Well, I could always say _you_ were the _bad treated_ girlfriend, right? You can't accused me of the same thing twice." Harry said in a calculative way, grabbing both my arms and dragging me to him. He leaned to me, as if to kiss me, but I put as much space as I could between us. "I know you want it, Tallulah." He said maliciously.

"James' so much better than you." I hissed angrily, knowing it will hurt him more than anything else I could say.

And it did.

His eyes flickered for an instant, and I saw just how much I hurt him.

But then it was gone.

Harry crashed my body to his, kissing me hard and rather violently, as he pushed me to the bed, crawling over me and holding my hands over my head with one of his, while the other went to unbuttoned my shirt so roughly he broke each and every button. He kissed me again, as he slid my shorts down my legs.

I kissed him back, and I wasn´t thinking about the prior scene anymore. I was thinking of his body against mine and his hands on my curves, and I wanted to have him naked over me.

Somehow, he understood, and let go of my arms long enough for me to ripped the shirt out of his body, and take his pants off. Soon after, he had me pinned against the bed again, kissing me on the lips, and then moving to the neck, the chest and the breasts.

"Tell me now he's better." Harry ordered, and he penetrated me with one swift movement. I closed my legs around his waist as he moved at a fast pace inside me. "Tell me James' better than me. Tell me he's better at shagging you than I am. Tell me he _understands_ you as I do!"

I was panting and my brain wasn't really thinking about his words, so I accepted them. "You're the best." I stated, kissing him, nearing my orgasm.

Harry grinned as he kissed me back, the fury out of his eyes for once, and his movements turned slower, softer, and much more caring than before. It was as if all he needed to know was that he was better.

And he was.

He really was.

Half an hour later, he collapsed over me, panting and breathing hard just as I was. Harry kissed me on the lips, slowly, and he hugged me to him. It was a different kind of hug. Like… he didn´t want to let go.

_Ever_.

And I found myself… wanting exactly the same.

"I'm sorry." He muttered against my hair.

I was more than surprised to hear that, and I turned around to look him at the eyes.

"What?"

"I'm sorry. I acted like a wanker, Lula. I didn´t mean to call you a whore." He confessed.

"You're not _not_ big." I said slowly, and he snickered. "I didn´t mean to pinch you with the needle." I laughed.

"So we're all in all sorry for acting like stupid people even when I started. Are we good?"

"After this, do you seriously think we could be anything else than _good_?"

"Great, maybe?"

"Great, maybe." I accepted, smiling. And that was when I realized I wasn't able to stay angry at Harry Judd, and probably never would be. We were… meant to be together sexually involved for life.

Or something weird like that.

"You know? You inspired these things in me. I was never like this with a girl. I was slow and soft and sweet. You're like lust up to my brain. I love that." He confessed, kissing me again.

"Well, if it would boost your ego, you're like that to me, too." I said, biting the place where his neck started. I'm telling you, drummers _rock_. I think it's all that arm's work?

"Oh, baby, baby." Harry said in a joking way, laughing. I smirked.

"Don´t tell me you like Britney?" I asked, feigning surprise.

"No, but I can sing her if it tickles your fancy…" He offered jokingly. I had to laugh.

"No, thanks you very much. I much prefer Christina Aguilera." I said, sticking my tongue out at him. This felt good. Nice. Ok. _Right_.

"_Look at me_." He started singing in my ear. It gave me goose bumps and a tight knot in my stomach started twitching and dancing at the sound of his voice. Harry had the sexiest voice ever, and I really didn´t even could tease him for knowing the lyrics. "_You may think you see who I really am, but you'll never know me. Every day, it's as if I play a part…_"

I smiled, and cuddled closer next to him as I extended my hand back to his hair as Harry kept singing softly, only for me. I had never heard his voice before, and even when it wasn´t as _good_ or whatever as Tom's or Danny's, he was amazing.

I wanted him.

And the feeling I had as I lay on his arms hearing was much more than just _like_.

But there was James.

I tensed as I thought of that boy. James Bourne. I liked him too and the fact that I was thinking of him as I was naked with Harry was a clear indication that he meant something very important to me.

As much as Harry now?

Or more?

"You're amazing." I whispered when he stopped singing and I could feel his smirk on his voice.

"Oh, I know." He said jokingly.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yes."

"Well, it's good, then, because you really are. I shouldn't have sent that stupid article, Harry, really…" I muttered.

"I know you didn´t. I… I was being a bastard. Maybe you were right and I deserved it… But you _are_ going to make things right again." He ordered, and before I could even open my mouth to reply, he wondered as if he was worried. "Right?"

I smiled. "Yes. We can even say that you have a pact of celibacy since your last girlfriend to keep McFly's hotness available."

"Hey, what do you mean with _McFly's hotness_? It's only _Harry Judd's_ hotness."

"Well, Harry, I am sorry, but I think Dougie is hotter than you. Sorry." I said jokingly.

"You've wounded me. Now I'm depressed. I'm going to turn emo and is going to be your job to explain why McFly's drummer's cutting his wrists and wearing only black and a lot of eyeliner and the like. Really. It's not going to be nice." Harry said dramatically. It was hard not to start laughing right there.

"Oh, don´t worry. I'm sure we can use that as publicity too." I smirked.

"You're a witch." He muttered, with his nose in my neck, tickling me.

Sometime after that, we fall asleep. When I wake up, Harry had left without a single word. I frowned, but tried not to think too much over that. And I tried to ignored the feeling I had when I found my bedroom completely empty and no one there but me. I went to have a shower, trying to relax myself, because I was seriously angry.

Why the hell had he left?!

He could have left something to tell me whatever!

And the fact that a stupid thing like that made me angry was… well, scary to say the least. It wasn´t like me to be so riled up for stupid things like a boy disappearance. And yet I couldn´t take that out of my mind.

Proud as I am, when I saw him later, I completely pretended.

"Lula!" Harry called me from the dressing room as soon as I reached the arena where McFly was going to be playing that night. I had my Ipod in recorder-mood just in case I got an interview, and my hands full with my laptop, but I smiled at him nonetheless. His smile gave me goose bumps I couldn´t hide. How could a _smile_ give goose bumps?

"Harry." I said, trying to wave. He approached me, and helped me with the things in my hands. However, when I was free, he dragged me along to…. Somewhere dark, really dark, and he closed the door behind him. "What the hell, H-?"

I couldn´t say much, because next thing I knew, he was kissing me, hard, as he pushed me to the wall.

Just like that, my anger disappeared and I was kissing him back, with a hand on his hair and the other going up and down his chest in desperate motion. It only lasted a minute, but _what_ a minute it was.

"I missed that." Harry smirked, kissing my forehead. Such a cute thing that got me… well, thinking about James.

I know, I know.

I'm a stupid.

But I couldn´t help but feel a kind of thrill when I remembered he was going to be there in Dublin. Only three and a little more days to go. I was excited, I'd missed him a lot.

…And I was in Harry's arms.

I'm a HUGE stupid girl.

He kissed me one more time before storming away just as quickly as he had pushed me inside this room, and I stayed behind, feeling confused and strange. I wanted him to stay a little bit longer just as much as I want to be alone for a while.

I needed to think.

It was a whole new world for me, and I didn´t have Aladdin to help me sort things out. Jazmine didn´t know just how lucky she was. She got the best of both worlds! Except less blonde and less rhyming names.

So I did what I do best when I don´t like something.

I quit.

But, believe me when I say, even when quitting thinking of something you don´t like, _actually_ doing it its pretty hard. However, I was determined to do so and that was why I submerged myself in work.

I walked out of the broom closet and grabbed my things and continued with my work, talking with everyone I could find and taking pictures and writing and doing interviews and thinking out loud things for the books, and chatting and flirting and smiling, all too loud, just to keep the things I didn´t like _out-sounded_, just to keep myself busy. I paraded around the venue just keeping myself busy with whatever I could.

But even with all that, I found myself unable to do the one thing that could positively help me to stop thinking about it.

I couldn´t _go_.

I felt compelled to keep a stupid promise that wasn´t even a promise!

And then I felt like ripping my hair out of my head and screaming like a banshee and running around naked saying that the Blair Witch was after me.

I did keep my sanity, though, and I didn´t do anything like that.

I went to Harry when the show ended, congratulated the boys and found a way of disappearing with him as soon as possible. We had a flight to catch and it was not very easy to find a way to stay alone.

But as soon as we boarded, I found the seat next to mine, usually Maggie's, empty, as she was sitting next to her husband, chatting with Dougie about something. She smiled at me as I walked past her and winked, and when Harry jumped inside the plane, she said with her most innocent smile that she was missing her husband so much, she wanted to sit with him.

Of course, Harry didn´t complain.

I'm guessing you know that plane's bathrooms are somewhat of a fetish for more people, but now let me tell you from my own experience, it's not very comfortable and not even very sanitary.

It was the electricity jumping between us as we sat next to each other that almost forced us to find a way to the bathroom when everyone were sleeping.

And that's when everything went sort of downhill.

I was _this _close to moaning a different boy's name as I kissed Harry.

Thank Zeus I didn´t, but the damage was done and my mind was even worst than before.

After that, I just couldn´t relax.

The flight was too quick to have actual time to worried, but as soon as I was able to leave Harry sleeping in his hotel room on Belfast, I did something that I wouldn´t have done if the circumstances were normal.

I went looking for help.

I walked down the hotel's stairs to Fletch's and Mike's room and I knocked once before letting myself in.

"We need to talk."

* * *

_Sorry, again, for taking ages! And I know I promised some James... but Harry didn´t want to let Tallulaj alone. He's going to appear in the next chapter, and the enxt after that is going to be almost entirely about him!_

_And thanks to the best beta-reader of all times -and my personal idol ;)-! Hope-Change, you rock._

_Love!_

_XOXO_

_Odd._

_PS: Just in case you're bored or something like that LOL you're all free to add me on Twitter. The link is in my homepage!_

_Tah Tah!_


	16. 15

**XV **

Fletch looked up from his laptop and arched his eyebrows with curiosity. "Are you breaking up with me, Tallie?" He wondered, amused. I was seriously tempted to throw a pillow to his head, but instead, I just let myself fall onto Mike's empty bed. I knew Mike was probably on the bar flirting madly with the cute barman, so Fletch had the room all to himself.

"Yes. This can't go on. I have a millionaire husband that's starting to suspects another man shags me." I said with no real emotion. Fletch didn't need much to know something was odd.

"Ok. What's going on with Harry?"

I didn't expected that.

Not at all.

And the problem with that is that I literally fell off of the bed out of surprise.

"WHAT?!" I exclaimed.

Fletch looked at me still sitting in front of his computer. "Stop fooling around, Tallie. Why are you laying in the floor? Is it _that_ comfortable?" He asked.

_Bastard_.

"I just like the floor. I'm used to my Arabian boyfriend and my ex Asian boyfriend, and they always eat on the floor. I just felt like remembering them." I mumbled, sitting up and putting my back against the bed, reclining my head over the mattress.

Fletch grinned. "So now that you can't go even more down… What happened with Harry? Don't try to deny it, missy, because I'm Master and Commander of this Tour and I know _everything_. I have eyes on my back and on every single spot on the tour." He added just in case I was doubting it.

And knowing Fletch as I did, I was sure he _did_ know.

He was the typical boy that looked like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth, and then SNAP he shows he knows _everything_.

"I think I really like him." I blurted, avoiding his eyes. Fletch waited in silence, patiently. That was his mayor virtue: patience. He could wait for information, knowing that sooner or later he _would_ have it. So I went on, it was clear he was sure that wasn't all. "But when he kisses me…" I took a deep breath and counted to ten. I was going to say out loud something that I didn't have say before, really. It was a whole new different state of pathetic ways for me. It was one thing to admitted I may be in love with two boys –which was pretty pathetic on itself – but to revele the deranged and twisted way my brain worked? A once in a lifetime event. "… I can´t help but… think of James…" I mumbled.

Almost scared by his silence, I bent my legs and hugged them to my chest, burrying my head in my knees. It was pathetic. I was slowly turning into the kind of girl that I would hate giving the situation. But I wasn's strong enough to just step aside of both of them and sort my feeling out first rather than… just confusing them. And they didn't even have a clue about the other.

_Oh, I'm a mayor bitch… Wouldn´t my mom be proud…? _

_  
_"… And?" Fletch finally said and it was something so out of character that I looked up immediately, surprised.

"And… _what_?" I demanded.

"So you think of James when you shag Harry. _And_… that 'and' goes for _what else_." The blonde boy, that was starting to be very hated, said as if it was the most normal thing in the universe.

I just stared.

_What else?_

Was he on crack?

LSD?

Bifta?

Had he had a concussion?

A psychological trauma?

Anything?

"Fletch, did you just run off from a mental asylum?" I asked just to clarify my last option, because none of the others seemed that plausible.

"Do I look like the Joker, Tallie?" Fletch wondered amused. I looked him over, from head to toe, and then shook my head.

"But the innocent looking ones are the worst. Maggie says it! You're… what was that word… _mosquita muerta_! That. You're a mosquita muerta."

"Do you know what that means?"

"Not at all… But that's not what we're discussing!"

"That's right. We are discussing your thing with Harry and James."

_Right…_

"Yes." I said. That was good, right? It didn´t say too much nor too little.

… _Who am I kidding?_

"So. You think of one when you're with the other, but you're surely not the first girl in England –hell, probably not even in Europe or the whole world!- that thinks the same. So there must be something more."

"Tell me what you think." I snapped, crossing my arms annoyed.

"But… where would be the fun in _that_?"

"You're evil and I'm not sure if I like you right now."

"Ok, ok, fine. I tell you what I think. You are, for the first time in your life, standing in front of a proverbial mirror. You're confronting yourself with what you really are for the first time and that's confusing."

I stared at him….

And stared…

And stared…

And when I was done, I stared a little more.

…… And a little bit more…..

"When did you study psychology, Fletch?" I demanded to know, thinking over what he had just said. It… actually sounded quite possible.

"Come on, Tallie. Think about it. Why it is that you're focusing on two lads so different from each other? Maybe because you're trying to figured out what you really want in life or what you want from a relationship? We all know that your ex boyfriends were just a good shag."

Sometimes, it amazed me Fletch's ability to speak so… colloquially.

"Yeah, well. What does that have to do with anything? Do you mean that I… I'm not sure if what I want in a boy is lust or love, a gentleman or a rascal?"

"Don´t you feel like your betraying them? Listening to Arctic Monkeys so much?"

Seriously, this man was able to really drive me crazy and not in a good way like that stupid Britney's song. I personally preferred Brit from We Will Rock You, thank you very much.

"Fletch, focus!"

"That's what I mean."

"…. For me to focus?" Ok, now I was confused. Really confused.

"No, woman! That you're not sure of what the hell do you want." He snapped, but he wasn´t angry, he was probably enjoying himself.

I was about to answer to _that_, but I decided against it. I needed to think his words over. Fletch was right, I knew it, but it was hard to believe it or say it out loud. Was I that shallow? Was I so sex-driven? Was I that stupid?

"… Do you think that Harry can´t be 'love'?"

_I'm definitely THAT stupid and even more_.

I was tempted to hit my head against the wall after I said that. Seriously. What the hell? Why would I ask that stupid, stupid question?!! I was supposed to deny it and not… not… not show that kind of _sentiment_!!!!

Fletch, instead of laughing and mocking me as I was sure he was going to do, just smiled and moved from his chair to sit in the floor next to me. He put a hand over my right knee and shook it lightly.

"I think you just got your answer, kid." Fletch said with a soft smile.

I felt like crying.

Can you believe it?!

And even when I was feeling humiliated, and stupid, and ugly, and idiotic, and moronic and any kind of synonymous you can think of… I probed my real idiocy.

"You didn´t answer my question."

_I'm going to check myself into a funny farm_.

"I think both James and Harry can be your perfect boyfriend-"

"That doesn´t help at all, Fletcher."

"You didn´t let me finish, kiddo! Now shut your mouth. I was saying. They can be it, depending on what you choose."

"That doesn´t answer my question either."

"You want to know if Harry can or cannot be also the _love_ part of your dilemma?" I nodded, but didn´t say what I wanted to add. That it was a dilemma induced by him! "I think he can. If you're brave enough to let him. And I also think that James can be the 'lust' if you let him."

"You're not really helping me, Fletch!" I whined.

"You want me to fix your life with a magic wand and I can´t, kiddo." He said, smirking slowly, amused. I hit his ribs with my elbow and frowned.

"I hope you know how bad you sound."

"I do." Fletch used my knee to help himself stood up, and then winked at me. I feared his next words. "But isn´t that how you normally fix _your_ problems?"

_He didn´t._

"You didn´t!!" I exclaimed, standing up so fast I got dizzy. That to show that sometimes, what I think and what I say are exactly the same. "You're going down."

Fletch laughed and wooed me off. "And what are you going to do about it, huh? Try to hit me? Kick me? Throw a pillow at me?"

"No! I'm going to seduced Dougie and Harry and make a McFight!" I stated, sticking my tongue out at him. My threat was so stupid that neither he nor I could help it and we started laughing our asses off.

"Honey, you're having fun without me? How mean of you both."

Fletch and I turned around to look at the recently arrived Mike, who was smirking like the best.

"Oh, well. I think I'll leave now. I… have to go shopping! We're in Belfast! I need alcohol." I exclaimed, skipping out of the room after kissing both boys on their cheeks.

I skipped my way toward the hallway of the penthouses rooms, toward my room, across the little living room that linked all the rooms. And then I stopped. So suddenly, I fell to the floor.

_Really, today is the day of hitting my bum to the floor?_

"What a way of saying _hello_ you have. It seems to be usual around me." James Bourne joked, jumping up of his seat to help me stand up. I smiled at him with my best smile –because I was like _forced_ to do that by my own traitorous mouth – but inside my head? I was in huge turmoil. Sunami huge. Or even bigger.

_Buggers_.

* * *

_Ok I'm officially the worst. I only NOW noticed I had upload twice the same chapter. You have the right to hate me. Here is the REAL chapter -.-_

_Sorry!!!_

_Please, please don´t hate me! I swear over my porcelain dolls' collection that I'll do my best to update sooner! I think I recuperated my muses for this and the characters are slowly but surely surrendering to MY desires. Next chapter is done, in my beta -the amazing Hope-Change-'s hands, but I'll try to have NEXT at least half done before updating it. _

* * *

**_This is my answer to you, Hope lol: Your computer has something personal with you?? Did you cheat on her??? Did you talk about changing her??? Computers are a bit too sensitive, you know? LMAO._**

_Thank you, thank you, thank you. You're the best! Maybe THAT'S why it seemed to me that it didn´t make any sense. Too much emotions XD But I'm glad you like it!!_

James and Dougie could make a club. Like... "Rejected by the protagonist antagonist boys" or something like the key words must be RIGHT NOW. They will get the girl, eventually.... hopefully.... Now I'm feeling guilty TT

_.... Maybe I'll start a poll. Or give everyone ten seconds to tell me why she should end up with each boy XD  
_

_I don´t want you to be very upset! But James is James.... And is tempting........ It's a question og Delorean/drummiliciousness..... lol_

_It's a cool code name, can I use it too??? Please?????? *insert puppy eyes*._

.......................... I think I can endure hours and hours of babble and sobs........ even trough Twitter..... I think I can accept that............ XD

* * *

_Ok, so that's all for now. Wait for the next chapter!_

_Love!!_

_XOXO_

_Odd._


	17. 16

_Again, I'm so very sorry for taking so long to update -if anyone is still reading...-. The good news is that the story is already finished, AND the sequel started, so there's not too much time of waiting ahead of us XD._

_I just recently noticed I had update the same chapter twice -really sorry for that-, so I fixed that problem now. Go and read the REAL chapter 15. And I'll uptade chapter 17 in an hour or so to make it up. Hopefully someone else apart of those two great girls would still read this? -Odd's crossing her fingers here-_

_Love!_

* * *

**XVI **

"Hello." I said smiling when I finally could find my voice. James smirked.

"Did I wow you?" He wondered, dragging me toward the sofa he was occupying. Tom, Maggie, Danny and Harry were sitting there, with bottles of water, Red Bull, blueberry juice and some trays of food in the table in the middle. The idiotic brunette smirked at me and I was really tempted to hit her. Seriously.

"Oh, yes. I can barely walk!" I replied with a smirk. I was more than nervous. Seriously. I wanted to run away. It was the worst possible situation ever. I mean, I didn't have a clue of what _relation_ with Harry was yet, and I was now in between him and James.

I think I blushed when he put an arm around my waist in a slightly-more-than-friendly gesture.

"Here, then. Let me help you." James joked. Stupid as I am, I couldn't help but glancing for an instant toward Harry, just to see him flinching, and glaring at me. I couldn't be blame for thinking he was gay, seriously.

"Thanks." I laughed, but it sounded too stiff. James and I sat on the sofa he was occupying before I'd arrived, side by side. I felt all eyes on me, all the attention focused on me, and I felt guilty. And I wasn't sure why I was feeling guilty, or over who.

"I was just explaining why exactly I couldn't be here before." James said with his cutest smile.

"Yeah! You didn't finish!" Maggie, the great Maggie, added, amused and delighted. I wasn't sure of what, but I thanked her for offering a distraction for my deranged mind. I needed sounds around me to think more clearly and stop freaking out.

"The cast for Loserville is decided!" James exclaimed, excited as a little child in Christmas. It was hard not to feel just as happy as him, really. Even when I was seriously contemplating the idea of just bloody jumping out the window.

Harry's eyes had the ability to do that.

"That's amazing!" Danny exclaimed delighted. He winked surreptitiously at me. "I didn't know the play was so on its track!"

"It is. It's like watching a baby grow." James said and laughed immediately after saying that, shaking back and forth, touching my leg with his. It made me smiled; he was like a little child sometimes.

What Fletch had just said appeared in my mind like a voice amplified by the IMAX of my mind. He was sure James could be the lust of the equation, and I wondered if that was something I could get to know.

I observed him critically, tilting my head to a side and ignoring the rest of the excited conversation. I could go on and on about his looks –amazing looks- but I was trying to focus on _something_. Not sure what kind of something, maybe something that could make a clear decision for me, or something that screamed… _anything_.

Instead, what I got was a very real feeling of something hitting the side of my forehead.

It took me almost two seconds to realized that it wasn't a very real feeling but a very real piece of cookie thrown in my direction by Harry. I looked at him a little dazed and he just frowned and glared at me.

"Sorry?" I muttered, confused. Had I been staring so much at James that I had zoned out of the whole world? I was supposed to be able of paying attention to a lot of things, but maybe I really wasn't?

Thank god, no one was really paying attention to me, and Maggie put all her force in driving the conversation so it would continue despites my awkwardness and Harry's staring. Even James, who at first had looked at me with a worried smile, turned back to talk about his beloved Loserville: The Musical.

I tried to pay attention, but it was a futile try. My brain kept doing what it shouldn't and compared both Harry and James, confusing me more. But I couldn't stop myself. Did I mention I'm a little masochist already?

James' excitement was so big, that even when I was concentrating on my confusing mind ways, I had to participate in the conversation somehow. I wanted to _please _him because I felt guilty, but that I only realized it when he whispered softly after a short pause that he had missed me. It made me feel like a major bitch.

And right then and there I decided I needed to come clean.

But strangely enough, the only scenario I was afraid of was Harry's. I knew I had to tell him that I had dated James, and I was more than bloody scared for having to do so. Explaining to James didn't feel half as dangerous.

However, I wasn't given much time to keep over-thinking things too much, because Fletch and Mike appeared again to tell the boys we were about to be heading toward the arena. I was saved by the bell.

Somewhat.

Because as soon as everyone leaved to change, I as left alone with Harry and James.

_I'm doomed_.

_Oh, fuck, I'm going to die_.

James smiled widely. "Playing Belfast. This is when you know you _did it_." He joked, touching my knee softly, absent-mindedly. "Aren't you going to get ready? We'll wait here. I have to…"

"Yeah, James. But I need something of Tallulah, so I'm taking her with me." Harry kind of snapped. _Oh, fuck. I need to RUN!_ "Ok?" He added, softer this time.

James shrugged. "Ok. Then I'll be waiting here. _Alone_…" He sighed dramatically, and then laughed.

Harry didn't wait for anything else, and dragged me toward my room.

When he locked the door, I just knew I was doomed to hell.

…_The window is open… It should be less painful, right?_

"What was that?" He demanded to know. I flinched at the sound of his voice.

"What was what? James was just talking about the musical… Aren't you excited? It's so cool to have a musical out of your…" My voiced drifted off as I talked, feeling his eyes boring holes trough my head. "No?"

"No. Tallulah, you were _staring_." He demanded, furious.

"Well, yeah… He's James Bourne!" I exclaimed, desperate to found a way out. At least for now. Come on! Why should I receive his hate now when I could delay it?! I'm a pro at procrastinating. It's one of my many gifts. Like my long legs.

"You didn't stare at _me_." Harry muttered. I couldn't help but smiled at him as I reached for his shoulders and pushed myself closer to him. He pouted slightly.

My head was doing a mental happy-dance-over-the-tables to his amazingly offer of an excuse. I leaned toward him, just a breath away of his lips. "Because if I do that… I wouldn't be able to do _this_…" I whispered, and I kissed his lips.

The kiss became passionate and profound and deep and full of a meaning I couldn't understand within instants, and we were abruptly interrupted by the phone of my room ringing. It took us some seconds to listen to it, and when we did, I reached to it and picked it up, answering dazed as hell.

"Allo?"

"_Get your and Harry's asses out of your room NOW._" Mike's voice screamed trough the phone, making me drop it out of surprise.

"Fuck." I muttered, picking it up, elbowing Harry, who was laughing at me. Idiot. "We're going, we're going." I muttered, turning to the idiot. "We have to go now." With no more words, I grabbed my Jansport and a leather jacket by Armani Exchange, and then I pushed Harry toward the door. He let me do that, but now I think it only was because he, unlike myself, did remember the door was locked. I almost hit my face against it trying to open it.

"You're going to stay, right?" He asked, pressed against my back, pushing me against the door. I felt shivers down my spine and the temptation to turned around and forget about the show completely was ginormous. Harry grabbed my arms, caressing them slowly up and down with the tip of his fingers. _The bastard…_

I nodded. "Yeah, Harry. I'll stay."

"James likes you." He blurted out.

_Fuck_.

I couldn't face that now, could I?

So I did what I was best at. No, not run. Yet.

I turned around and kissed him softly, sweetly, on the lips. "We're going to be late and Mike and Fletch are going to kill us as painfully and mercilessly as they can think of." I stated, opening the door behind my back.

Harry pouted at me, a sight too cute to ignore. "Fine. Just leave me without my kiss of good luck. You are ashamed of me, I know it." He joked as he let me pushed him out of my room.

I blushed, and I felt… _scared_. Those words had a deeper meaning than it was obvious, and I was afraid that if he offered the word _girlfriend_ again, I was going to ruin everything again. I didn't want him to hate me; I liked it very much as things were then.

Thanks god, he didn't push the matter, and we walked away quietly, joking about something Tom had said the last night and Danny's reaction to Maggie's cooking abilities. The hallway was empty, except for a frowning Mike that openly glared at us when he saw us.

"Finally. I don't mind at all that you're having good luck wild, animal, passionate sex, but you have to be punctual, stupid!" He said, hitting my head with the back of his hand. When Harry laughed, he turned to him. "And you don't laugh!" He ordered.

"Hey! Why did you hit me and not him?" I pouted. It was really unfair.

"Because you work for me and I work for him. See how this works?" Mike smirked, standing up of his place in the sofa and going to the elevator. Harry and I follow him, but the drummer grabbed my wrist softly to drag me to him and whisper in my ear.

"See? You're not even working for me." He said in his deep, husky, sexy voice. I shivered at his tone and his breath in my neck, but had to pretend I was cold at Mike's curious look.

"Oh, well." Mike said, shrugging, not really buying my excuse. "The rest took the van to the venue. We're going in my rent car."

*·*·*·*·*·*·*

I didn't leave, but not because I didn't want to, but because I had promised it to Harry. I wanted to yell "I HAVE MY PERIOD!" and then ran away. Far away.

James was next to me, trying to make conversation, and take me out of my mental reverie and paranoia, but I kept answering in monosyllables, because I couldn't focus. My mind was like a roller-coaster, spinning madly around, back and forth, up and down, and then some strategically chosen twists.

Want to know why?

Because Harry had kissed me in front of Mike.

Now, don't you start with the fact that he KNEW because I told him.

That wasn't what really mattered. No.

The fact that Harry kissed me in front of Mike meant purely that he was comfortable with letting people know of our…. Whatever we had.

And that meant that sooner or later he was going to want to explain what we were.

And even when I had decided that talking was the best way to stop my confusing mind of being so confusing, that didn't mean I was able to confront reality so early.

That and the fact that his kiss me had my mind working wrong. I didn't even understand myself, so don't just blame it on me. Really, is like my world was turned into a huge…

"Tallulah,"

I stopped short when I felt the hand on my shoulders that had been there probably a long time ago, seeing as the boys were already a quarter of the show down. I looked up to find James smirking face.

"I've been calling you for the last minutes, and you were gone a whole half an hour." He said at the edge of laughing. I blushed hotly and smiled.

"Sorry. I was kind of… out of there."

"You don't like my presence, I know." This time he did laugh. "Is something wrong?" James asked a little while later, leaving his hands where he had let them before. And that was too much. I felt guilty, and… I wasn't even sure at _whom_.

"I slept with Harry."

_I'm stupid_.

James looked confused, mostly. But his eyes shined a peculiar shade of blue. Sadish blue. "Ok?"

"More than once." I added, avoiding his glance.

_How many probabilities I have for the Earth to suck me in and never let me go **RIGHT NOW**?_

"… Oh…." James said softly. "…Why are you telling me this?"

"I don't know."

It was as if I was on autopilot, not really controlling what I said.

"Oh… Ok?"

"I really like you." I added as an afterthought. And just in case you're wondering, I am stupid. Really stupid. Majorly stupid.

"I really like you too." James admitted, moving me by my shoulders so I was looking at him again. "But?"

I sighed. "But I really like him too. I'm sorry. I didn't mean this to happen and I'm feeling like shit. I'm a bitch. I shouldn't have-…"

I couldn't continue my speech.

James Bourne was kissing me as if his life depended on it.

**James Bourne** was bloody fucking _kissing me_ as if his life _fucking_ depended on it.


	18. 17

_Here's the next chapter. I thought I didn´t have it here but it ended up I had it in here in the Document Manager thingy! XD_

_So, this chapter goes for the two persons that love me and review. You two, girls, you know who you are.. You rock my world!_

_Love!_

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**XVII**

When I was little, I never wanted to be a princess like any normal girl. No, I wanted to create havoc and chaos and the like. When we played house (and not Doctor House), instead of accepting the dignifying role of the younger sister, I always opted to be the _twister_ that destroyed everything – I had just seen the movie, so blame it on that.

I loved to be impulsive and unique and a freak and see people surprised by my antics to the point of almost being scared. I hated girly girl things and I was a tomboy until my long legs, my stupid family, and my body's development made it weird and impossible for me to play with the boys. Well, at least like a child would.

But, all that set aside, I had never experienced on my own flesh what havoc and chaos and surprise and fear it felt created by one person.

My world was trembling with the force of a great typhoon.

And my knees gave up on me, causing me to almost fall to the floor.

"I'm sorry!" James exclaimed while catching me. It was amazing that _that _was the first thing going trough his mind instead of something much more…. I don´t know, hurtful? That would probably help me feel better, by the way.

But being kissed like that after I told him I had kissed and shagged a different boy –a boy that was his friend, too- was something I didn´t expect at all.

"Why?" I snapped, being held just inches away of the floor by his arms. My voice sounded more angry and harsh than I expected it to.

"Because I took you by surprise and-…"

"Now, not that. Why did you kiss me?" I clarified. In my world it made no sense at all.

"Because I wanted to." James stated, shrugging.

That seemed easy enough.

"Because you wanted to?" I insisted as he held me up. I wanted to protest and tell him to let me fall to the fucking floor, but I decided against that because my brain couldn´t think properly about anything else than what James said and I needed an answer.

"I don´t mind that you slept with Harry or with that moron getting married to your cousin. I mind that you're telling me and I mind that I like you and you like me too." He stated with his hands on the top of my arms, standing so close to me I could feel his breathing in my face. I liked his mint, sandalwood smell and I wanted to hug him and buried my face on his neck.

"I like him too." I added. Maybe sewing my lips together wasn´t that much of a bad idea, in the end.

James nodded once, and shrugged, pretending it wasn´t important. But I could see that it really was. "So?" He said in a calm tone as fake as Pam Anderson's boobs. "I like Angelina Jolie."

"It's not the same." I insisted. I was starting to think that maybe I had tendencies of self-destructiveness because what I was doing wasn't normal. Maybe I was suicidal and had never noticed it?

"I know. Tallulah, believe, I know. But there must be a reason for you to tell me this, and it means you trust me enough to confess something like that."

"Or that I trust you to hate me after hearing it."

_Really_.

_Where can I get a fucking sewing machine **NOW**?!!_

"… Oh…" James looked really sad for once. I don´t know why I kept trying to make him understand what really was happening when I hated to make him suffer like that. I'm more stupid than the most stupid person in the world. "… That's why you told me?"

"No." I answered, because it wasn´t. "No, it wasn´t because I want you to hate me. I don´t want that, at all. I just… I… I'm confused. I don´t understand why the bloody hell I'm confessing this. Seriously. Just…. Just keep guns and razors away from me. Just in case, you know?"

"Wait. What that does have to do with anything, Lula?"

"I don´t know." I shrugged.

James smiled softly at me and hugged me. Even when I was kind of expecting it, it surprised me how much I wanted him to hug me. The fact he didn´t hate me and still liked me was marvelous to me, and his hug reassured it. I buried my head on his neck and bit my lips so as not to cry. I Didn´t know why would I cry.

"It's ok, babe. It's really ok." He whispered softly in my ear, caressing my back. I felt shivers up and down my back and my skin burning everywhere he touched. "James, I…" I started, but he interrupted me.

"No. Enough of your words. Do you really like me?"

I nodded, because I didn´t trust my voice.

"Then that's enough. I'll make you only think of me, I promise." He assured me grinning. It was hard not to reply with a smile too. "Well… If you let me."

I started nodding out of reflex –and because no matter what I said or think, I really did liked him – but I stopped brusquely when I looked over toward the stage.

Harry had his eyes locked on me and James, his arm too close around me to be a friendly hug. He was fuming, and he missed the next two hits of his drums. I could read in his eyes that he wanted to go there and… kill me.

It was suddenly hard to swallow and I contemplated the possibilities of running away. Being the obvious answer 'not so many and not so good,' I stood where I was. Well, it wasn´t as if I could move, anyway.

"I… I think I…" I started, but I wasn´t sure what to say. I wanted to fly away, and at the same time it was as if I was tied down there and I couldn´t run. James looked at me oddly, but he didn´t realize I was staring at Harry.

"Are you ok?"

_Not really._

"Want to go to the hotel? The show it's a bout to end, anyway. You look pale." James offered.

_About to end? ABOUT TO **END**?!_

If I was paling before, now I was probably transparent, and I clutched to his arm. "Ye-… Yeah… Let's go to the hotel. Take me to the hotel." I pleaded. He didn´t make me wait for an answer and started walking toward the door of the venue, sensing the tense atmosphere. I didn´t turn back to look at Harry, and all I wanted to do was to run far away.

But that proved to be a bad idea because as soon as James and I reached the special garage for workers of the venue and the stars, I heard Him yelling my name.

_Bloody fuck._

I stopped abruptly and took my sweet time turning around. By that time, Harry was already next to us, and I moved so I was standing between both boys. I don´t know why I did that – it was an impulse or something weird like that.

"Harry, look. I…" I… couldn´t finish.

Harry ignored me completely and clenched his fist. I hadn´t thought it was possible, but since I wasn´t able to fully react, I closed my eyes and waited for the impact.

It never came.

At least, not to me.

When I dared to open my eyes, James was taking hold of a car to gain his balance and Harry was almost jumping over him with his eyes firing. I squealed in the same moment that Harry collided with James and James retaliated and punched him back. I wasn´t able to fully react in that moment, too surprised and… well, scared. They were having a major fight in the floor of a garage!! What if a reporter saw them? What if Fletch saw them?!! That was worse.

I could only stand there, watching them roll around on the floor in slow motion and void of sound, hitting each other and kicking and punching whatever they could take a hold of. As stupid as it can sound, I had never seen a fight this close and this… _hard_.

It took me some time to react and by the time I did it they had already done as much damage as possible without an external weapon. I knew I need to intervene and separate them, because that was the right thing to do. But between knowing it and actually doing there's a lot. I had to forced myself to moved closer to them.

When I finally stepped near them, everything, sound, color, movement, came back to me forcefully. I leaned fast to clutched Harry's arm –he was the one on top at that very moment – and tried to push him away, but that only got me knocked to the floor when he pushed me back quite harshly.

But now that I had made a decision, I wasn´t going to give up. So I leaned back, determined, and to grabbed him again, yelling whatever I could think of to make them stop.

They ignored me, but now that the shock was gone, I could hear some of the things they were yelling to each other.

They were fighting over me.

**_Me_**.

And even when it should have been obvious and I kinda suspected it… it was a shock too.

I had always thought how great and sexy would be to have two boys wanting to kill each other over you. But it really wasn´t.

I wasn´t feeling great and fabulous for having them fighting.

I felt guilty.

It was all my fault. I had completely ruin a friendship because… because I'm a spoild brat that it's used to do whatever she wants.

I had never thought of it that way and it was quite a revelation for me. It shocked me even more than the fight itself.

It was my fault.

It was _my _fault.

_Oh, fuck…_

That made me even more determined to stop them so I took off my heels and tried to stop them _again_. Even when Harry was the one clearly _owning_, James was not giving up and he wasn´t weak enough to let Harry own the fight completely. And he was just as difficult to stop than him. In my quest for the Stopation of the Stupy Fight, I was thrown to the floor at least five times, two of which were caused by my slipping over some oil in the floor.

_Eww!_

I didn´t worry about the punches I could receive or the bruises I was going to get. I needed to _stop_ them.

Did I mention I was feeling guilty? Because I was.

…. And I also was at the verge of tears, but we'll just ignore that.

Desperate as I was, I was seriously contemplating putting my heel in the floor behind them to see if a pierce bum was enough to get their attention. But I figured that would make me feel even worst, so I declined.

"Stop this, for fuck's sake!!" I yelled getting tired of the situation.

Of course, it did nothing good at all.

No, wait.

It did _nothing_ at all.

"Come on, guys! Just stop! You're… You're…" I couldn´t think of anything good enough to finish my phrase so I decided on something else that would hopefully work. Because even if I went for the dramatic and stormed off…. Well, that would give them a free pass to kill each other. "Oh!" I exclaimed way too dramatically to be taken seriously. I was thinking Keira Knightley in Pirates of the Caribbean. "Oh!! I just remember I don´t have any underwear on!"

And that did the trick.

… Ok, no.

I had to repeat it like four times and only when I yelled it loud and clear for the entire _bloody world_ to hear it and actually kick Harry because he was the closer to me, they stopped.

If only to look at me as if I had just announced there was a fourth party in the situation and it was Big Foot.

And I do mean the mythological creature, not the McFly boy with that tattoo.

I took the opportunity they had given me to kneeled in the floor and make my way between them to stop them, pushing them apart.

… _That had so many possibilities to turn into a sexy scene…_

"Now, can we please act like civilized people? Please?" I asked, trying to sound less desperate and awful than I felt.

Slowly, Harry got to his feet first, forcing me up too by grabbing me by the shoulders and forcing me protectively behind him. James didn´t take so long to stand up too.

"Dude, what the fuck? What's wrong with you?!" He exclaimed angrily, glaring at Harry. I tried desperately to observe the situation with an objective bias.

It didn´t really work, but it was nice to dream.

And it helped me to focus on something else than _them_.

I tried to moved apart from Harry, but his grasp on my arm was too tight to do so.

I wished with all my might to… be away.

Because I had just realized that what I needed to do was to get away of both of them…. And I knew I wasn´t able to do so.

Harry was like a drug.

And James was… like the guy in Chasing Amy to my Amy? Or like ice-cream in a hot day.

"You! You're my problem. Stay the bloody hell away of her!" Harry demanded, breaking my reverie. "She's mine!"

I turned to glare at him –well, at his back, actually-. What the fuck? I wasn´t _his_ at **all**! I wasn´t nobody's! But for once in my life, I refrained myself from interrupting, knowing that this conversation was way too important for me to interrupt.

…. Well, And I was feeling like shit too so I figured it was better to stay away.

Happy?

"Are you hearing yourself, man?!" James demanded. He was visibly angry, but he was also confused and surprised. He clearly hadn´t expected that reaction from Harry. "She's not your girlfriend!"

"She's not your, either! And you fucking punch me, mate!" James declared just as angry as Harry. I wanted to be in the middle again to pervert any more hitting to happen. "Stop acting like she belongs to you, man!"

"She does!" Harry snapped furious. His fingers were burring in my skin and it hurt, but I ignored that, I wanted to kick him.

"What the fuck?!" James yelled, too confused to really comprehend the extent of what Harry was saying.

I felt awkward.

I felt guilty –but you already knew that-.

I felt bad and sad and… _awful_.

"Dude, you're fucking mental!"

"You just stay the fuck away of her. She's bloody _mine_!" Harry ordered in an even, vicious voice. It was kinda scary. But in a way… I know it was completely psycho and insane, but did he cared that much about me to fight with James? And that brought me back to my dilemma. Could I stand there like the Joker?

"You're being ridiculous! She's not a piece of meat or an object to own!" James snapped furious.

…_but… I like to be _own_ by him…_

I think I blushed after thinking that and the Peter Cricket that wasn´t a pervert came to hit me in my mental head.

"She's not something you want and grab!" James continued, his face was red and his eyes shined angrily. I had never seeing him so angry before. It was somewhat scary. It made me think he could be as bad as Harry.

"You're only saying that because you can´t stand the fact that I shagged her more than once and you didn´t even got close to that!"

And then I really blushed. That was way too much information.

I think knew what was going to happened before actually being conscious of it. I saw James' face changed fast and his fist clinching viciously and violently, furious and angry. I took a step back, closing my eyes in the exact moment when James' fist collided with Harry's jaw, making him stumble back and push him to me, making me lose my balance. I didn´t fall to the floor because Harry, despites it all, didn´t let go. In my sick and twisted mind I thought… that it was a signal. Not sure of _what_ but it seemed good enough to be considered in that moment.

"You seriously think she's just an object you can fuck!" James snapped as Harry regained his balance and closed the grip in my arm even more. He was trembling. That was how furious he was. "Tallulah." He said, turning to me. I was too surprised to do anything else but look at him. "You deserve so much better."

I wasn´t sure of that and I was about to tell him _that_, but Harry interrupted me.

"Like a pillock that can´t even give her what she wants?" He said coldly.

"The only reason I didn´t _fuck_ her was because I didn´t think The Circle Club was a good enough location! But if you're _so_ dying to know, she has an amazing mouth!" James blurted out rabid.

Harry was shocked, he even let go of my arm for an instant, but I didn´t move. He glared at James. "And you're telling _me_ I think she's a piece of meat?" He laughed bitterly.

"What we have, whatever it is, doesn't need sex to make it last. What would _you_ do if you can have sex with her? Probably just get another toy." James spitted.

That hurt, because he was probably right. I was only a living sexdoll for Harry, right? Nothing else, nothing more. And even when I deeply enjoyed it…

"Ok, stop!" I interrupted before Harry could answer anything. Both men looked at me as if they only remember there that I was still in the room -garage-.

Good to know I'm that forgettable no matter how much they can fight over me…

"This… this is stupid, ok?" I said, looking at both of them. "You're supposed to be friends. And you're fighting over a girl! Believe me, I'm not that good to be fighting over."

"Tallulah, stay out of it if the only thing you're going to do is say stupid things." Harry snapped, turning me around so he could look me in the eyes. His gaze was so powerfully lustful that I felt my knees gave up. I only remained standing because he was holding me up.

"Don´t treat her like that!" James demanded, standing closer to me.

"I'll treat her like I want, ok?! If she doesn´t like it, she can say it herself! She's not your stupid babydoll! She can fight her own battles, _believe_ me!"

"Stop it!" I interrupted again. "This is enough of this stupid game of who's playground is bigger."

"You're the one who put us in this situation!" Harry snapped at me. By the way his hand was closing on my arm, tomorrow I was going to have it completely purple.

I nodded slowly, because he was right. "I know. And I'm sorry. I can´t see you guys fighting like this when even _you_ say I'm not worth it! It doesn´t makes sense."

"It's not your fault, Lula." James said softly.

"I didn´t say you're not worth it." Harry muttered so low I almost didn´t hear him. What was he trying to say with that? I looked up to stare back at his eyes and the temptation to kiss him was too strong.

"It is my fault. Even when I wasn´t aiming for this… I caused it. And I'm sorry. I didn´t want to hurt you because… because I really cared for both of you…"

By then, I was already crying.

Harry's hand lessened the grasp on my arm, but he didn´t let me go. "_Both_?"

_Oh, fuck_…

I nodded, ashamed of myself. Was I really that much of a whore? I probably even deserved what Emily did.

"And if I'd forced you to choose…" He trailed off, already knowing the answer.

I couldn´t choose.

"You don´t need to, that's even more stupid." James said with a hurt expression in his eyes.

"I wouldn´t be able." I accepted, sobbing a little. "That's why this is not going to work. Nothing. I… I need to… I can´t be with any of you because that's completely mean of me and I would be hurting one of you and probably both because you two _are friends_._"_ I said, emphasizing the last part.

James sighed, and nodded slowly. He understood my decision and I could tell by the look in his eyes that even when he hated it, he wasn´t going to fight it. Harry, however, was a totally different case.

"You're breaking this off? You can´t!" He demanded, shaking my arm. I sobbed harder, sad. And the fact that he acted like that was confusing. I was just a sexdoll. He shouldn´t care. And that's why I said the next words, despite the fact they… broke my heart.

"You'll find a new girl almost as good as me, Haz."

As soon as I finished that dreadful phrase I knew I shouldn´t have said that.

Harry glared at me with piercing hurt in his eyes.

"So that's what you think of me, then? I'll make things easier for you." He spitted, and then he turned around and walked away. I called after him, crying, but he just ignored me, entirely.


	19. 18

_So..... do I really need to say something else apart from SORRY??? _

_Hum.... I dont think so XD. Here is the next chapter I toook forever to upload. We only have three more chapters to go -god that feels awful to write!!-. But don't fear, the sequel -'s sequel, actually- it-s been written and goes for chapter 8... I think. So enjoy this!!!_

_Thanks for read, really and don't hating me, too! lol_

_Love!!_

_XOXO_

_PS: My cousin tiny computer it-s giving me headachs, so any thin you find wrong.... I-ll revise it this weekend!_

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**XVIII**

"… Did you really need to come to this point to realize what you want?"

I barely listened to James' tranquilizing voice; I was too preoccupied with hating myself for causing so much disaster. I didn´t remember when I kneeled on the floor, but now James sat next to me.

I turned to look at him. "What do you mean?"

"So you didn´t realize it yet either…" He sighed, offering me a soft smile. He then leaned toward me, passing an arm around my shoulders and dragging me to his chest, hugging me closely and kissing the top of my head. "Don´t be so dramatic, Tallie. Everything is going to be ok."

"No, it's not. I'm a bitch. I'm the worst of the worst."

To my surprised, he laughed.

He _laughed_.

"Hey! Don´t you understand this is not a moment to laugh?!" I snapped. But when I thought over what I had just said, I realized just how stupid it was and I started to laugh along. Not too much after, both of us were cracking in the floor of the garage. "Ok, if I put it like that… it is." I accepted once we stopped.

James grinned and stood up.

"Look, sorry for whatever I said, ok? I acted like a bastard." He said.

"Oh, no! No, don´t. I'm the one-"

"I'll forgive you if you forgive me, deal?"

I smiled and kissed his cheek. I couldn´t help it.

"Deal."

"We should probably get going, don´t you think? It's late…" James offered a little awkwardly. I nodded too eagerly, knowing that I wanted to… make sure he was fine. I felt so bad and guilty it was difficult not to go into hysterics.

James guided me to the car, and opened the door for me, closing it after I sat. He went to the driver's seat and started the car soon after. We were in the hotel in less than ten minutes.

But Harry wasn´t.

Maggie, Danny, Fletch and Mike came a while later, when James and I had indulged ourselves in some room service to eat our hearts out.

But Harry wasn´t with them.

We stayed in the cafeteria of the hotel talking and chatting and laughing, and Harry never came back.

When two hours had gone past, I started to get worried.

Well… I started to get _a lot more_ worried.

James noticed it.

Maggie would have probably done it too, but it was too late after she had gone to sleep. It was only Fletch, James and me, and the barman that was enjoying some TV while no one ordered anything.

"He's going to be ok." James repeated for the umpteenth time. Of course, I didn´t believe him.

"You can´t know." I demanded.

"Well, he's Harry. He will." Fletch insisted.

That conversation went on for a lot longer than that. The three of us and the barman were the only ones in the cafeteria now, and the lights were slowly turning off. I was tired and I had fallen asleep over the table, but at any mention of just getting my ass in the bed I recoiled with all my might. I needed to stay there.

However, when I opened my eyes again, I found James' chest, and a second later, his whole face, as he left me down on my bed and covered me with the blankets. I pouted up at him while I cuddled under them, protesting.

James laughed and kissed my forehead. "Your choice is clear, Tallie. I respect that. He's not as much of a bastard as I said he was." He said, waving goodbye. I wasn´t sure if that is what I heard or if I was just sleeping and dreaming, but it sounded quite reveling in that moment as my eyes closed completely and I drifted back to sleep.

Of course, it didn´t last long.

I can´t tell how much longer after it was, but the door started to bang loudly. I was confused, and I was sure that either the hotel was going down, or the aliens had attacked. That's why I shrieked when I opened the door and saw… Harry.

I thought the aliens had taken over his body and he was there to rape me or torture me for being a bitch.

"We need to talk." He said, slurring just a little. Not really thinking, and really stupidly since I was sure it was an alien, I let him in, closing the door after him.

"About what?" I wondered, rubbing my eyes and sitting on my bed again. Maybe if the conversation got really bothered I could just fall asleep.

"Us. So you have to listen." He ordered. "I know I'm possessive, overly jealous, and I act like a bastard 99% of the time. But that's only because I care so much about you I don´t want to lose you. I want you near me the whole time. Sex is not the base of our relationship, it's just something we do and we're great at it. I'm sorry for making you believe I only wanted you for that. I like you. I really do. And surrounded by so many men, you'll find out you can have so much better. Like James, for example." Harry said in one go, sitting next to me and not stopping to breath.

I was amazed, I wanted to kiss him.

"Harry, what-?"

"Hush, let me finish. I'm here to prove to you that I want much more with you than that. I asked you once and you laughed at me. I'm willing to ask again, if you would… _like_ to be my girlfriend." He said, blushing.

I smiled widely, but he couldn´t see me because he was avoiding my face. The only thing I had to object was him asking me once. He had never done it. I'm sure, I would remember something like that unless it was only a…

_Wait a second_…

"You mean that _that_ was actually serious?!" I exclaimed, surprised.

Harry scowled at me. "This isn´t working. I'll leave now." He announced, standing up from my bed and walking towards the door.

Thank god, I reacted before he could open it.

"Yes!" I exclaimed.

Harry stopped, but didn´t turned to me. "Yeah, I already say it. It has no sense to repeat it just to make me feel bad."

"No, stupid!" I snapped, and that was enough to force him to look at me, if even before I had insulted him. "I mean yes to being your girlfriend."

"Real nice, Tallulah." Harry said crossing his arms over his chest. I wasn´t sure he had understand completely what I had just said. Not sure at all.

"Harry. I want to be your girlfriend if you're willing to be my boyfriend." I said clearly.

"Yeah, I understood you the first time. I'm not stupid." He answered me. "I was just trying to process it."

I smiled and walked the few steps that separated him from me. It seemed to be clearer now, all was clearer. Harry was the one I loved, more than any other man. He was just so…

Liked. I mean _liked_. Not loved.

"You really mean it?" Harry asked, grabbing me by my shoulders as soon as I was close enough.

"What, you're backing off already?"

"No, of course not. But thought you would… well, run away at any kind of commitment coming from me, or maybe even laugh it off."

"Well, I can´t laugh it of when you say it's _real_, right?" I said grinning. Harry's hands had started to slide down my arms until he reached my wrists, grabbing them and putting them behind my back to draw me close to him. "It's going to be hard." I had to announced, not really sure why.

No, wait. Actually, I was.

I was having cold feet.

But not because I didn´t want to be with him, but because it seemed too good to be true.

… And I was still sure he only saw me as a sex toy.

_What if he only asked me to be his girlfriend to win over James?_

"Of course. I'm _always_ hard. I can be hard for hours and hours." He smirked, licking my cheek slowly.

"Really? _That_ hard?" I asked with my sexy voice.

_… What if _he _is my sex toy? Could I be that much of a bitch?_

"Oh, yeah." Harry nodded, before kissing me with a passion he had never showed before forcefully (which has to mean something in itself, right?) as he pushed me towards my bed making me lay down and crawling over me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

*·*·*·*·*·*·*

I was about to hyperventilate.

My cheeks were a deep scarlet and my palms were sweating and my mascara was growing blotchy by the second and my lips were swollen and my hair was a mess and I down right needed a shower.

All in all, I looked like shit.

And that was a good enough reason to run away, but I knew that if I did it, I would never be back where I was _again_. Ever.

But I needed to do it.

So I knocked.

When no one answered after my really loud, really demanding knocking, I turned around and started to run.

Hell, I had knocked! I had tried!

"Tallulah, what the fuck are you doing?"

_Oh, bloody hell…_

I turned around _again_ and plastered my biggest smile on my lips. "Mike, hi! What are you doing up on this lovely morning?"

"It's not _morning_ yet. It's five in the freaking morning! Fletch was ready to call to security, we've been hearing you prancing around outside the door for _ages_." Mike snapped. He was standing in the doorway of his bedroom in the hotel of Belfast, wearing his pajamas and his bed hair. And I was standing stupidly right in front of the wall with the window leading to the pool outside. Half a second later, and I was going to be crashing through it, probably ending up falling right into the pool.

I had run in the wrong direction. _Damn it!_

"Oh, really? Five in the morning you say? I didn´t know… Sorry! I'll go now, you have to sleep and all. Buh-bye!" I said fast, starting to walk away in the _right_ direction this time.

"Hey, come here, girl! You already woke us up. So now you're going to get inside and tell us what you wanted to say. We have to be up in an hour, anyway, so it's not going to be any good to go back to sleep."

"Are you _sure_? Because I wouldn't want to-" I started, but Mike grabbed me by the arm and pushed me inside the room forcefully. "Ok, I'll come… Hiya, Fletch!"

"I'm hating you right now, don´t be too perky. I may kill you."

"…Ok…"

I was thinking that maybe Mike had made me get in to kill me. Would he be able to do so? I thought over that, tilting my head to my head, sizing him up. Almost two minutes later, I realized both men were staring me as if I was crazy.

"Hum…. Hi?"

"Tallulah! Sit your ass here and tell us _what the fuck you came here to say_!!!" Snapped Fletch, patting the end of his bed. I did as I was told but only because I was still wondering if he _would_ kill me.

"Spill." Ordered Mike jumping next to me.

"Ok." I accepted.

It was our third day in Belfast.

Which meant that I had being dating Harry for the past day and a half.

And no one knew apart of him and James. I had to tell James, it was the right thing, but he knew already. I didn´t even need to say it out loud.

"Well…. I… I'm…. I'm kinda not really not single anymore." I said.

Mike and Fletch stared at me for a long time, confused, trying to understand my words.

I didn´t even understand them myself.

"Don´t go all Jack Sparrow on us, now. What do you mean by that twisted phrase? Are you or are you not?" Mike demanded, elbowing me hard.

"Not single? Yes."

"That means you're single or not?!" Fletch snapped.

"…. Not…" I felt my cheeks turned red as they stared at me surprised, knowing that I needed to clarify the whole deal. So I took a deep breath and close my eyes. _Please, have mercy of me_.

"ThefactisthatI'mdatingHarryJudd." I blurted out as fast as I could.

Of course, it didn´t work and they both caught up to what I had say.

"Oh my god!" Mike snapped.

"I knew it! Pay up!" Fletch exclaimed happily, extending his hand in front of him towards Mike.

I looked at both of them outraged. "Did you two _bet_ on me?!" I complained.

"Of course. I said you were going to wait until we were in the train, and Fletch here said that you were going to come in the night." Mike explained, shrugging. They didn´t give it too much importance and just shrugged me off.

"…You're not surprised I'm dating Harry?" I asked some time later, after Mike had paid up his debt.

"Not really. We saw it coming." Fletch said.

"Hell, _everyone_ saw it coming." Mike agreed, nodding eagerly. "It was clear you like him and it was even _clearer_ that he's head over heels over you."

I would have loved to deny it and say something smart about the fact that _that_ wasn´t true at all. But I wasn´t the best judge, after all, seeing as I was dating him now and stating to think that I might be in lo-…. _Like_ with him. Everything was possible. "… Really?"

They nodded.

"Completely crazy for you." Fletch grinned.

"Wacko."

"Delusional."

"Horny, too." Mike finished. It was hard not to laugh at that. And after doing it, I jumped up in my place to reach both of them and hug them close. I love to have friends like this. "You know, I thought I would _never_ see this day. It feels like my baby sister is growing up!"

"So much for not making me feel uncomfortable…" I muttered.

"Oh, girl, how sweet of you. I never said I wasn´t going to make you feel uncomfortable."

"I should have know."

Mike kept mocking me the rest of the morning, until we needed to go to the airport. I was trembling when Mike, Fletch and I got out of their room. This was going to be worst like my Cotillion when I was little. I was going to introduced Harry as my boyfriend to the world.

"Can I back down now? I'll take a ship, a bus, I'll go running! Like in Hey There Delilah?" I said pleadingly, but Mike kept pushing me in front of him. All the baggage had been put into the trunk of some taxis already and we only needed to get in. Or die. Like it was going to happen to me.

"That's stupid. You're not Delilah, Harry's not Dellilah –and he'll kill you if he finds out what you call him, and you're not going to run _anywhere_. Keep walking, girl! You're stressing me." Fletch scolded me. I was almost scared of him pulling my hair.

"Then let me go to get ready. I'm sure I left something-" I was already interrupted by Mike.

"Stop it!" He snapped as the elevator's door opened in front of us. We got in. I tried to run away but it didn´t work. I was scared. I was bloody scared.

What if Harry wanted to humiliate me in public?

What if he stopped liking me tomorrow and I was just some plaything?

I wasn´t sure I would be able to support that.

"Ok, girl." Snapped Fletch once we were alone in the elevator with the elevator operator. "Stop looking for excuses. He loves you, and you love him too. You're perfect for each other. You _deserve_ each other. He's not going to humiliate you in public and he's not going to change his mind and leave you. I know him. He's not like the bastards of your exs."

I blushed and started to tremble again. "… Thanks." I muttered. Fletch grinned and hugged me.

"Just have fun, babe." Mike smirked as the elevator door opened and we walked out. Harry was standing there with Maggie, talking in a low voice and laughing. He was perfect.

I smiled when I saw him and let Mike and Fletch pushed me to them. Danny, Tom and Dougie were close, fixing the packing of their instruments one more last time. I took a deep breath again. I hated the fact that I knew something was going to happened to put me on edge but I couldn´t know what.

_Here it goes_.

"Hi." I said smiling to all of them when I was close enough to grab. Harry turned to me and smiled, his whole face lighting up as he did it.

"Hello, gorgeous." He grinned, winking at me.

Next thing I knew, he was grabbing me by the hips and pushing me to him. Right after that, his lips crashed against mine. He was kissing me like the Earth was about to end.

Harry grabbed me tighter than before, sliding a hand down my right thigh to make my leg up over his hips, and then he leaned down over me. It was a movie kiss, and I felt like Marilyn Monroe kissing James Dean. And yes, I know she never kissed him.

When we broke apart, everyone was staring at us. I was too shocked and too breathless to react, so he took care of the situation.

"Yes." He said, to no one in particular. "We're dating."

Silence took upon our little group for four long minutes. I counted them. That was how nervous I was.

"Oh for Merlin's sake." Maggie breathed out, and then she jumped to my neck and hugged me with all her might, jumping up and down. "I knew it!!! I knew it! You're so perfect for each other! I'm so, _so_ happy for both of you!" She yelled, hugging Harry next. But she stopped in the middle of her congratulation –geez, it wasn´t _that_ important – and mocked-glared at him. "If you hurt her, I'll kill you, ok?" She muttered low enough so no one would hear her apart from me, but I wasn´t really sure I was supposed to hear her either.

"I won´t. Promise." Harry grinned, patting her back. His hand snaked to mine, and he grabbed it, intertwining his fingers with my own.

"This are great news!" Tom exclaimed hugging me and man-hugging Harry.

…_Did they have some secret handshake for besties? That would be so fun._

"I'm happy for both of us." Danny grinned, acting almost as excited as his wife, hugging us both and make me spin on his arms. It was hard not to laugh.

"Yeah, finally. Did Harry man up or did you have to do the all the work?" Dougie asked with a mischievous smile. Harry elbowed him hard, but it was all joking.

"You're acting as if this is something epic. Like Montagues and Capuletsfinally getting along before Romeo and Juliet or something that dramatic. We're just dating." I said feeling a little self conscious. This was why I didn´t really want to say it. What would happen when he left me or when he realized I was boring enough to be ditched? Everyone was going to be awkward and all.

"Honey, you don´t _just dated_. This is important." Mike interrupted grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

He was right, of course.

Mike always was.

But still.

I couldn´t shake the feeling that _this_ was nothing close to _meant to be_.


	20. 19

_Hum.... I think that by now I lost aaaaall my readers and reviewrs. But who cares? XD I love the story too much._

_So... if you ARE reading, don´t hate Tallulah too much, ok? She has issues -like The Sats and their hearts, but not so much-. _

_I have two more chapters to go, and then.... to the sequel! Is already started and I'm on chapter 11, I think, so that one is going to have quicker updates._

_Anyway._

_Love!_

_XOXO_

_Odd._

* * *

**XIX**

_It could be better._

It wasn't the best thing to think about when you were in a serious relationship for the first time since you were six years old and decided that the cute blonde boy that you just threw your crayon at could be your boyfriend.

But I couldn´t help it.

It wasn´t because I was expecting something else from him, because he was kinda perfect in his own way, but more because I was thinking of a Maggie-and-Danny kind of awesome or a Tom-and-Gio kind of cute.

Harry and I were nothing like them.

And maybe that was the bad thing, right?

Not that we were nothing like them, but that I kept looking at others to compare my relationship with. I knew it wasn´t _good_ or _healthy_, but I couldn´t help it. I wasn´t even sure of the reason for that and I was starting to-....

"That's because you're scared, stupid."

I was startled when I heard Fletch's voice so close to me, and not because he was supposed to be in the arena but because… well, because of his _words. _

"Scared of what?" I wondered after realizing that he hadn´t any possible way to know what I was thinking about.... Right?

_Maybe he's an alien?.... Ok, girl, too much time with McFly and Dougie particularly._

"Of letting yourself depend on someone else and give him ways to hurt you more than ever." He stated in a matter-of-fact kind of way that should be made illegal. Seriously.

_Wow_.

"And how would you know?"

"I just know it, ok? You're probably looking for every little thing to decide this is not the right thing for you so you can run off. The tour is about to end so you're probably hoping to never see him again if you happen to find a good enough excuse."

…_Ok… Now he is scaring me. _

"… That makes me a coward, right? Or a very bad person?" I asked, pulling my legs to my chest and hiding my head between my knees.

"None of those, girl. It's actually reasonable that you feel like that if we consider how you took the relationships before Harry." Fletch sat next to me in the 'living room' of the tour bus and put an arm around my shoulders. The boys from the band were doing the sound check in the venue, so we were left with some peace.

"Thanks for that, huh?" I said arching an eyebrow, smirking at him, but Fletch didn´t even flinch. He just elbowed me. "Ok, ok. I am trying to find excuses, alright? I'm the worst. I need to feel ok with this but… I keep trying to find things to complain about and to show that he is not all what I thought he was and that he doesn´t care for me at all."

"Tallulah, the guy was this close to breaking his nose with a friend just because he was jealous. Don´t you think he cares _enough_?"

_Oh, well… He did have a point…_

"Fine, that's fair enough. I'll try to stop being paranoid about it." I accepted, nodding slowly.

Fletch grinned at me and nudged my shoulder. "That's good enough to start. Just enjoy the day. And only…"

"Hey, are you trying to steal my girlfriend, dude? Not cool."

Fletch and I turned toward the door to find Harry with his arms crossed over his chest and a small glare in his eyes. Fletch grinned even wider than before as he stood up. "I'm not, Haz. She was wondering where you were, actually."

Harry smirked and took his manager's place on the sofa next to me. "Well, now I'm here so no need to try and replace me with Fletch. I'm way too sexy for that insult." He laughed.

"Hey!" Fletch complained, but after winking at me, he left, closing the door after him.

"Hi, girlfriend." Harry said softly, hugging me. I cuddled against his chest in a disgustingly sweet gesture. But I couldn´t help it.

I seriously couldn´t.

And that was scary.

I never was a _cuddly_ type of girl….

"Hi, boyfriend." I smiled, kissing his cheek and ignoring the way I was feeling inside. Fletch's words still rang in my head and I didn´t want to ruin everything just because I was _freaking scared out of my mind_. It wasn't fair.

"Did you miss me in all this time we were apart?" He wondered at the edge of laughing, intertwining his fingers with mine. I smiled. Couldn´t help it. _Again_… So maybe we _were_ disgustingly cute, but so were Tom and Gio and no one cared about them, right? And I was happy. And they were happy, too. So it shouldn´t be something to be worried about. It wasn´t normal.

"Well… If I have to be completely honest, I think that maybe I'd missed your guitar more than I missed you…" I said pensively.

"I don´t play the guitar, Tallulah."

"Really? Then I mixed my boyfriends up again. Sorry." I sighed. "You're the drummer or the model? Or maybe even the-...?"

"Tallulah!" Harry complained, but didn´t let me explain anything and dropped his hands to my waist, starting to tickle me senselessly.

"No! Stop!" I yelled, trying to fight him off. Of course, it didn´t work. "Please! I won´t be held responsible for the damage I cause!"

"_Oh_, so _you're_ going to cause damage?" He mocked me, grabbing both my hands with one of his while he used the other to keep on tickling me.

"Yes, I am! So _please_ stop!!" I laughed.

"Nope, this is too much fun!" Harry grinned, putting one leg over my waist while moving me between his legs. He leaned towards me and stopped when his nose touched mine. "… But I have a show to rock and hundreds of fans to woo."

"Oh, yeah... You mean the hundreds of fans that come here to see Dougie, Tom and Danny but would be satisfied if they got you because you actually _touched _them?" I asked grinning like a Cheshire cat… Or the Mad Hatter, I was never sure who my laugh resembled more…

"That wounds me, Lula. You're mean when you want to be. You've hurt me beyond words and now I'm not sure what I should do with you…" He said pouting at me. "But… I guess I could forgive you if you kissed me."

I laughed, and snaked my arms to his neck so I could moved toward him, kissing his lips softly. Harry smiled and grabbed my neck before I could go back to lay my head on the sofa.

"That's not even a good kiss. Are you sure you want me to forgive you?" He wondered right before capturing my lips with his owns, kissing me like the world depended on it. He was so good at it that it made me wonder how better could he get if the world was actually ending.

And that was when I realized I wanted to be there with him if that happened. I wanted to be near him till the world end.

I had never wanted that with _anyone_. Not even my family.

So I could ignore my fears, hoping for them to finally disappear, because I loved him-...

I mean _liked_ him.

Nothing more.

… _Yet_.

It was just like that.

But maybe… maybe, if I was given enough time, I could _really_ fall in love with Harry Judd –because I wasn´t in love yet.

Just in like. In _like_. **In **_**like**_.

And that was scary.

But thrilling at the same time.

So maybe I should stop worrying, like Fletch said, and just enjoy it.

…Right?

"Now you're forgiven. I love the way you taste." He said grinning as he moved off of me and helped me to my feet.

"And how do I taste? Like Amortensia?" I asked grinning. Harry looked confused for a second or two until he comprehend what I had just said.

"Way too much Harry Potter for you. You're going to focus on other Harry from now on." He said, kissing the tip of my nose. I laughed, pouting my lips.

"I just realized something." I said. Something way too anticlimactic, but I wasn´t going to tell him _that_. He was going to find out eventually. Like... in the next two seconds. "Harry and James. Harry Potter and James Potter."

He glared at me. "And what does that have to do with anything, huh?"

"Nothing. It's just something I thought. You two are alike. And you don´t hate him, you know?" I said, just to make sure he knew. If he had started to hate his friend then I would be in deep troubles.

"Of course not. I was just angry with him because he seemed to be having so much more success with you than myself and I hated that. I was seriously contemplating changing completely for you, you know?"

I stared at him surprised. Even when he said that with a joking undertone, it was something quite important to be said. I had never contemplate changing for _anyone_.

….Except maybe James, but I couldn´t say that, now, could I?

So I did the only thing I could think of.

I hit his arm with all the force I could mustered up. "You're stupid." I stated over his moaning of pain.

"I'm not!"

"Yes, you are. You're so stupid I'm not sure how you got to graduate in Uppingham."

"I'm not stupid, Tallulah!" He complained.

"If you weren´t stupid, you would know that _that_ it is not the way to sweep a girl off of her feet, idiot. Since you don´t, you're stupid."

"What do you mean _that way_, huh?"

"I mean fighting with another man for her. It's not good. Really. Hadn´t you watch Desperate Housewives at all?" I asked surprised. Jesse Metcalfe knew all there it was to be known about love there.

…. And don´t you dare to contradict me.

He looked at me arching one eyebrow, confused. "What has Desperate Housewives to do with anything, huh?"

"Urgh, you are a lost case. You're never going to be Jesse." I sighed disappointed.

"Of course not. I'm hotter."

"Well…. Yeah, maybe." I laughed, accepting his pull on my waist to pushed me to him. I put my arms around his neck and kissed him.

"You're going to the arena, right? I want to show off my girlfriend some more. We have new technicians here that don´t know _you_'re with me."

"You've been showing me off for more than a week now! Can´t _I_ show you off once in a while?"

He shook his head. "Nope." Harry stated, kissing my cheek and linking his arm with mine as we walked out of the tour bus. "Because you're so much better than me." He whispered before we were engulfed by the sound of the arena.

I smiled when I heard him and my cheeks turned scarlet –or at least that's what I'm going to assume since they felt hot as hell.

Yes. Everything was going great.

I could stop worrying now and just… enjoy.

……………. Yeah, even then I was _that_ good at denial.

Harry held my hand the rest of his free time, until he was needed to get on stage. He kissed me one last time and bid me goodbye with a big smile, waving at me as he got ready to jump the stage. I wished the boys good luck, and waited patiently for Maggie to finish her own goodbye with Danny to grab her by the arm and drag her to the VIP room.

That night, the VIP was full of annoying bimbos that came out of god knows where. They were squealing, jumping up and down with the only objective of making their breasts bounce with them, fixing their makeup, applying lip gloss and talking about _how super hot_ the band was. It didn´t make me jealous, at all, but I could tell that Maggie was pondering killing one or two –or three, or four or the whole lot - of those platinum blonde girls.

"Come on, Mags. Chill." I said, linking my arm with hers when Do Ya started sounding in the arena. I dragged her toward the edge of the VIP to leaned over the balcony and watched McFly move around the stage. "He loves _you_, right?" I asked when I noticed she kept glaring at one of the girls near her, and then I talked louder than before with the sole purpose of making the bimbos listen to me. "And he married _you_ and not any of those wannabe blondes. It's kinda obvious that he prefers them brunette." I said grinning.

Maggie looked up at me with the beginning of a smile, not realizing how loud I had spoken. "Yeah, you're probably right. But still. Doesn´t it annoy you? That Harry has so many girl willing to be there if he ever decides he doesn´t want you anymore?" She asked in a low voice. I knew she wasn´t talking about me at all and that she was explaining how she felt with Danny sometimes, but it still hit too close of home.

She was right. What if Harry decided I bored him? He could have any girl he wanted with just the snap of his fingers and I would be left alone, hating myself for not choosing the other option.

_Maybe I'll save a lot of heartbreak by just ending things with Harry right now!_

But that sounded wrong in so many levels, that I decided I was just being stupid. And I probably was.

Besides, I felt utterly guilty for talking about James like that, so I stop thinking about that all together.

"No. And you wanna know why?" I said with a fake smile that I had mastered up to look perfect. She nodded. "Because Harry is not the one with the many fans. Tom and Dougie are. And maybe even Danny. But seriously not Harry."

"Lula!" She scolded me but the effect was completely broken when she started laughing.

"Excuse me, are you talking about Harry Judd?" One of the girls asked us, rudely interrupting our conversation while she stared at us with fishy eyes.

"No, better question. Are you Danny's _wife_?" Another asked looking at Maggie with a disgusted expression in her clear blue eyes.

_Ok, no one messes with my friends, bitch!_

"Yes, she is. Any problem with that?" I snapped. I was a little too protective with my friends, so sue me.

"Well… Danny's _girl_ should be a slender, sexy, well-dressed girl. Not someone like… _her_. No offense there, honey, but you don´t look the part." Bitch number one said with an apologetically smile. Completely fake. Maggie looked at her with wide hurt eyes but she didn´t say anything.

"Oh em gee!!!" Suddenly squealed Slut-of-the-week. She sounded like a banshee. She probably was, and that was why she dyed her hair blonde, so no one would recognized her and no one would know they were about to die. _Evil whore… "A_re you pregnant?! That's why he's marrying you! It is, right? I knew it!" She yelled as if she had just found out the reason to life.

I was more than tempted to hit her right in her face.

"Hey, there. Stop talking like that to my friend just because you're not interesting enough to get yourself a _real _date. She may not be anorexic, sluttish, and not lack completely of a real personality, but she's a million times better than all of you put together!" I snapped angry. I'm not really sure that had any grammatical coherence, but it sounded great at that time and it had the desired effect. Bitch number one glared at me, and the rest looked like fishes out of the water with their open mouths and big wide eyes.

"Lord, there's no need to get so annoyed. If you love her and can´t say anything because she's married, don´t try to get it out on us. It's not good." Goldilocks said with a flip of her hair, and a malicious smile thrown at me.

"Girls, why don´t we just enjoy the show?" Fletch, who had been observing everything, probably, interrupted us with a conciliatory smile.

"But she's insulting us!" Bitch number one complained, but in front of the threat to be throw out of the arena, she sighed defeated and went to her far corner. Slowly, the rest of the girls follow her. All except Goldilocks-the-Slut, who glared one last time at Maggie and me.

"You think you're superior than us, but you really aren´t. I can get whatever you have with the snap of my fingers." She said with the smirk of the Evil Stepmother, before turning around and going to the drinks table.

"I'll kill her. Fletch, Maggie, I'll kill her and then I'll feed her to her friends in…. in…. _empanadas_!" I muttered through clenched teeth.

"No, you won´t. You'll behave, ok? I can´t deal with a murdered girl here when the tour is so close to end. Please." Fletch said putting a hand on my shoulder. I sighed.

"Fine, I won´t. Only for you. But if she comes near me _again,_ I'm not sure how much I can keep up with that promise."

"I'll make sure she stays away, ok?" He accepted, patting us before walking out.

"Thanks, Lula." Maggie grinned at me when we were left alone. "For defending me."

"Hey, girl. It's the least I can do. If it was for me, I would have choked her with her own hair but I thought that was way too dramatic."

"It does have its charm, though. Picture the scene, it's pretty dramatic." Maggie joked, elbowing me softly.

"Well, you know me. Dramatic it's my second name." I laughed, as the first chords of _It's all about you_ started to sound all across the arena and we paid attention to the boys again.

"_Well,_" Danny started on the stage, showing a wide smile on his sweaty face multiplied on its size by the gigantic screen. "…_at this rate everyone knows that the next song was written for a lovely girl by our very own Thomas Fletcher._" He said, stopping when the yells from the crowd were too loud for him to speak. "_Yeah, exactly, for Giovanna! But tonight I'm going to borrow it –and since it's the band's song I won´t even have to pay for the copyrights!._" The crowd laughed at his joke as, next to me, Maggie started to blush. I smirked, hugging her. She was way too cute. "_So, tonight, Tom, this song goes to a different girl, a girl that means the world to me. Because it's all about you, babe_." And with that, the song started to play, with a last look of Casanova himself toward the VIP.

"See? I told you!" I squealed like a fan girl. It wasn´t everyday that you got a song dedicated to one of your best friends for the front man of a famous band.

She grinned. "Yes!" she squealed back, jumping up and down as she hugged me. It was amazing the way those two loved each other no matter how everything had started between them. They were clearly more than meant to be. I was so happy for both of them, and at the same time…

… At the same time, I was a little envious.

Because I knew Harry and me could never have something like that. It wasn´t in our nature. We were far too independent and proud to let the other in to such a complete degree.

Or at least I was.

That was the exact moment when I suddenly had a weird feeling about my relationship with Harry. Like something… _bad_ was going to happened. Like… when you know you shouldn´t wear those new Jimmy Choo heels you bought because you just know it's going to rain even when the Weather Man says it's going to be all sunny and beautiful? And then it rains? Well, a feeling like one of those.

And I started to internally freak out again. So many 'What if's' to worry about…

But I ignored it all as soon as The Last Song started sounding and I couldn´t keep wondering in my own thoughts anymore. No one should know it, but The Last Song is probably my favorite song of McFly.

The show ended not too long after that, with the proper goodbye and all. Not even half an hour later, Tom, Harry, Danny and Dougie were in the VIP with us, barely cleaned up but with a new set of clothes on. Everyone hurried up to congratulated them, especially the fan girls from before, but I waited patiently until Harry was left alone near the food to approach him. I didn´t want to get near to him when he was surrounded by sluts, because I wasn´t sure yet where I stand in public matters. And that stupid feeling of fatality –way too dramatic, I know- kept bugging me, that too.

"Hello, girlfriend." He grinned, kissing my cheek. I made a face at him and shook my hands like a diva.

"_Ew!!_ You stink!" I complained and then broke up laughing. Harry smirked and hugged me.

"I'm not even as sweaty as I was the other night and you weren´t complaining about it." He whispered huskily in my ear.

Well, how could I complain when the boy was doing marvelous things with his tongue, huh?

It's impossible!!

"That's because I fainted from the smell." I laughed. "How did you like the show? Was if good enough to make it to a DVD?"

"Girl, every show is DVD worthy!" Harry exclaimed happily. I smiled at him, until Goldilocks appeared in my line of vision. She was the devil, surely. Or the Devil's Spawn.

… Or maybe even one of the sluts that shagged the Devil, like in that manga about heaven and hell. Yeah, that was more like it.

"Oh, hi, Harry!" She exclaimed with the most –bloody fake- innocent look she could mustered, offering her cleavage as an offering to the Gods. Of course, he being a guy, Harry couldn´t help looking, but in his favor I have to say that he didn´t _stare _too much.

"Hi…"

"Imogen, but you can call me Gen." she smiled sunnily. "Could you _please_ give me your autograph? I'm your biggest fan! The way you drum it's amazing! I think you're one of the best drummers of our generation, if not _the_ best."

Harry smiled widely, excited, and I started to feel left out.

And jealous, but mostly left out.

Why was he so excited about something a slut was telling him?!

I could tell him that any time if that was what he wanted! He shouldn´t feel so pathetically pleased with himself for what she said!

But then I realized what I was doing.

I was standing by the side of my _boyfriend_, while another girl flirt with him.

And he was _letting _her!

"What do you want me to sign?" Harry asked, interrupting whatever I was about to say. I turned to glared at him, furious. And that scared me a little, because when I was furious, I said stupid things and did stupid things too impulsively to even picture what I could do.

"Well… I don´t have any paper here…" Gen the slut pouted but then her face falsely lit up. "But it would be so wicked if you could sign my shirt! I have a Sharpie somewhere here!" She squealed, looking inside her purse for a marker that she took out of it when she was sure she had done a great show of showing her tits to the whole world and a more than willing Harry.

I wanted to hit him _so_ hard.

Except I didn´t.

I decided I could give him a chance. I knew I was being way too over dramatic, but I wasn´t feeling like been rational. And I was probably still looking for excuses.

Because there was no way in hell that I was _jealous._

At all.

No matter what I said earlier.

I'm so much better than her.

"I've never signed a shirt before! That's always Danny." Harry grinned, grabbing the sharpie and leaning toward her. His words sent my chance to hell. "Where do you want me to sign it?"

"Oh, here would be just _perfect_!" Gen said pointing to the area over her breasts. I clenched my fist, hoping that _only_ picturing me killing her with her own extensions could be enough, because I trusted –or wanted to trust- Harry to _see_ what she was doing and denied it.

But the stupid Harry followed her!

He leaned even more towards her, putting a hand on her shoulder to steady himself and he started to write over her breasts.

I decided I didn´t need to witness that.

And I wasn´t going to.

If only because Fletch had asked for no dead girls that night.

"I'm going." I announced, turning around without paying attention to Harry's voice when he asked me what was wrong or to _Gen's_ victorious smirk.

_Stupid Harry._

_Stupid mother fucker Harry!_

I was going to find a boy that looked like James or a famous man and asked him to sign my boobs just to annoy HIM.

_Yeah, that sounds like a good enough plan._

It was too bad the only famous guys around were McFly.

"I'm starting to think every little thing I tell you goes from one ear and get outs of the other." Fletch muttered next to me when I was stuffing some fancy looking sandwich in my mouth.

When I get frustrated, I eat. Deal with it.

"Well, then maybe I should stop wearing earring so your great words won´t go to waste." I muttered darkly. Fletch stared at me for a second or two and then sighed.

"I'll say it loud, clear and slow for you to understand it. Stop. Looking. for. Excuses." He said.

"I'm not."

"Then why is Imogen all over _your boyfriend_, then? Go there and do something!" He exclaimed.

I glared at him. "She's there because my _stupid boyfriend_ let her. And I won´t do anything when it's clear he _wants_ her there."

"So you're blind, too?" Fletch wondered. "He doesn´t seem at all that comfortable."

I condescended a look over at Harry and _Gen_ because it couldn´t do any wrong, only to find her hugging him and kissing both of his cheeks with delight. Harry only smirked and patted her back slowly. He wasn´t jumping up and down of excitement but he didn´t look uncomfortable at all either.

"Yeah? You think?" I muttered, turning around again. "I'm going. I'll probably go to the bar." I announced, walking out of the VIP too fast for anyone to stop me on my way out.

Once I was out, however…

"Hey! Lula. What are you running away of?" Danny asked. He was sitting in the floor with Maggie at his side, cuddling like a cute couple.

"Harry." I confessed without thinking. They both looked up surprised at me and I was tempted to hit my head on the wall.

_Stupid Tallulah._

"Harry? Harry Judd?" He wondered.

"No. Harry Potter."

"Funny."

"Dan, stop. What's wrong, Lula?" Maggie interrupted her husband, standing up.

"Nothing, nothing. Just… enjoy the rest of you night, darlings." I said with a fake grin.

"Tallulah!"

"Oh, fuck." I muttered, turning to see Harry getting out of the VIP. He hadn´t seen me yet. Great. "Well, it was nice chatting with you, but I need to g-"

"Stay where you are!" Harry ordered me, running to me and grabbing my hand before I could even start to run. I sighed defeated, turning around to face him. He was surprised and confused, and that only worked to make me angrier. "Why are you running away of me?" He asked.

"Well, if you're so det-…" I started, but that didn´t sound good enough. I wasn´t going to look like a desperately possessive girlfriend. Because I wasn´t. Really. "No, wait. I'm not running away. I'm giving you your space." I said, trying to sound cool and dandy but failing majorly. Stupid bitter tone.

"Tallulah? What's wrong?" Harry looked too cute when confused.

"You jumped to sign her breasts!" I snapped, even when in my mind I was picturing myself saying something totally different. Not really sure _what_ exactly, but it was different. And that movie ended with a better ending. Too bad it was only in my imagination.

_Stupid Tallulah._

"Ok, Dan, this is our cue." Maggie said in a hush voice, standing up and dragging Danny with her.

""But I want to _know_…" He protested, but she pushed him back to the VIP lounge. Who knew she had that strength in her?

"I… _What_? What are you talking about?!" Harry demanded to know, confused in every single letter. He was succeeding in making me _furious_ and _livid_.

"Oh, you know damn well what I mean! _Oh, here would be just lovely_." I said with a high pitched voice, mocking Goldilocks.

"Don´t tell me you're jealous." He said with a wide smile that irked me so very much.

"I'm not jealous!!" I yelled.

_Now there's no way in hell he will believe me… Asshole._

"Yes. Yes, you are. You're cute." Harry grinned, putting an arm around my shoulders and hugging me to him.

"I'm not cute!" I snapped, punching him to let me go. "I'm angry, that's what I am!"

"Well, it's normal. You're jealous."

"'I'm not-…!!! Ok, fine. So WHAT if I am?!! It's _your_ fault, anyway!! You shouldn´t have acted that way!"

"Wow, girl. Chill. You don´t need to yell at me." He complained, dropping his arm of my shoulders. Harry was starting slowly to feel more than annoyed with me, and that made _me_ even more angry.

"Go and shag her, if that's what you want, Harry."

"What is _wrong_ with you?!!"

I had finally succeed in driving him out of his mind. And that made me sickly proud of myself.

"You!"

"Girl, if you're PMSing, don´t turn all that on me, ok? It's not my fault."

"I'm not PMSing!!"

"It looks like you are. Sorry for mistaking your bitchiness with that."

"I'm angry at you! You were flirting with her like mad!"

"I wasn´t! I was just signing her shirt!"

"Her _breasts_! Oh… Don´t tell me you're stupid enough to NOT realize when a girl is flirting with you to fuck you? Please, Harry, don´t treat me like a stupid person because I'm not." I demanded angrily, punching his arm.

"It was just a fan!"

"Like hell it was!"

"Look, if you're going to go all crazy and psycho whenever a fan flirts with me, this is not going to work." He snapped.

I was astounded with his words.

But I was too proud to take anything back.

"I'm not acting psycho for a fan, I'm angry because you flirted BACK! What if I go to the Arctic Monkeys and ask them to sign my breasts, would you be happy with that?!"

"It's not the same, Tallulah, that's stupid."

"Oh, it's not the same because it's not you?! Don´t be a hypocrite!"

"I didn´t sign her breasts! It was just her shirt!"

"You know what? Maybe you're right." I snapped.

I was known for saying the most stupid things in a heated moment, and my angry-heated moments were the worst.

"What do you mean?" He asked with sudden coldness in his voice. If I had paid just a little bit more attention, maybe nothing would had happened, maybe I had noticed the way his eyes dilated with anticipation and fear, as if he knew he was about to receive a major punch. Maybe I would had noticed he was as scared as I was.

But I didn´t.

"That maybe this is not going to work out at all." I started. "And maybe we're not meant to be. You're too fucking stupid to realize when someone is trying to get in your trousers and I don´t feel like babysitting my own boyfriend." I declared with cold anger.

Inside, I was hurting and yelling at me to just say sorry, to just forgive and forget because it was _stupid_ after all.

But I couldn´t.

He need to admit what he'd done! Why should I be the one apologizing when he only needed five words to make everything great again?! He only needed to say _one bloody phrase_ and I would believe it no matter what!

….And, yes, I was too damn proud to accept it and actually _telling _him.

Still am.

I was sure it had to come from him.

"What?! Wait, Tallulah. What the fuck are you on about?"

"I'm breaking up with you."

He looked more surprised than myself, but soon enough, he covered that up with coldness. Except I didn´t really realize it was a façade and not real. It hurt too much.

"Fine. Thank god I'm free of you, you're a bitch."

"And you, Judd, you're an ass."


	21. 20

_Next chapter is the last one, and this story is over. I'll update the new sequel's prologue as an epilogue, just because I can XD_

_So, hope you enjoy this!_

_My dearest Laura, this is for you because you're so awesome like that lol._

_Love!_

_XOXO_

_Odd._

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XX

I walked away and didn´t turn around once to look back at him.

He probably didn´t turn to look at me either.

The only difference there was that I was _dying_ to look. To see if he cared for my actions, if he wanted me back even when he couldn´t say it out loud, if he needed me as much as I knew I would need him when everything stopped twisting around inside my brain.

I was crying for him. I knew this was going to happen sooner or later because that was how things always worked in the whole world, but that didn´t mean I hated it any less. But things weren´t made to make life easier but to make it difficult and painful.

That was life, right?

And I wasn´t going to cry for that. Much less for a boy that clearly didn´t deserved it. I was going to stay strong and…

… _and get drunk out of my mind, that is_.

I cleaned my face with my hands, stopping the tears, and I started to run to the hotel. I was not really sure where I was and where the hotel was or even where the hell I was going to go, but I always knew my way pretty well and had a great sense of orientation that came from... outer place, for all that I knew…

At least that was what I thought. But when I looked up from the floor, I found myself in an avenue I didn´t know at all and an open typical Irish pub in the next block. It seemed like a sign of destiny. Maybe it was.

_Maybe I'm lucky enough to find a Billy Elliot or his brother in here_.

My decision was made pretty much even before I could think of it.

"Oy, lady. Are you ok?"

I looked up from the bar where I had sat waiting for the barman. He was looking at me with a concerned look in his eyes as he passed some drinks to the waitress. The pub wasn´t really that full, but the music was blasting. I loved that. That way I didn´t need to think. I _couldn_´t think.

"Tough night, huh?"

"You have no idea." I nodded. "Give me the strongest thing you have. And make it double."

"Sure, darling." He said with a wide smile, turning to make my drink. I didn´t even care what I was going to drink just as long as it was strong and it hit me hard. He came back not long after that and gave me a glass with a crystalline liquid inside. "Here you go. This will make you forget every single bad thing."

"Yeah, and hopefully also the fact that you don´t like me so I can try to chat you up _again _and get to know the pretty girl with the sad eyes." A different boy with curly blonde hair said as he sat next to me. I couldn´t help but laugh along with the barman.

"Hey, Elliot, you're not a lady killer!" The barman laughed. I looked at the blonde boy next to me and offered him a wide smile.

"First of all, I _so_ don´t not like you. And second, you're Elliot!" I exclaimed, drinking half of my tall glass in one go. There was something good there, I knew it! He was my Billy Elliot!

"Wow, girl. Easy down. We have the whole night!"

"No, I want to get pissed out of my mind. And _you_ won´t stop me." I demanded, starting to feel the alcohol running down my veins.

Elliot looked amused. "I wasn´t going to. Free will and all that shit, you know?"

"Good, then." I said, drinking the rest of my drink. "Hey!" I called for the barman and when he looked at me, I pointed at my empty glass. "I want another one, please!"

"She's getting drunk so she won´t hear you, you know?"

"Even when he hides it, Ryan _loves_ me." Elliot said with a huge grin. By that time, the world had slowly started to move and distort up and down and to both sides.

"The love is clear." I laughed, as Ryan put the drink in front of me and I downed it in one go. After that one, I drank four more drinks, chatting with Elliot and even Ryan, when he wasn´t busy making drinks for other people. I wasn´t really sure about how things were going, really. Only thing I knew for sure was that I _needed_ the alcohol and that I _hated_ Harry.

_Ugh… Harry motherchucker._

"One more please!" I slurred, trying to stand up to catch Ryan's attention, but loosing my balance. I didn´t fall to the floor only because Elliot grabbed me by the waist.

"Are you ok, Tallulah?" He asked concerned. I didn´t remember when I had told him my name, but since he wasn´t an alien I was sure I actually had. Not that I cared, really. The way he said my name was so…. Sexy.

I looked up to meet his beautiful green eyes.

How was it that saying?? A nail drives out another???

Maybe I should test it…

"You're sexy." I stated bluntly, putting my hands on his hair and starting to caress it. Softly, slowly, giving him shivers. Just like Harry liked i-...

_Fuck!!_

I didn´t think much after that, and I stood on my tiptoes to reach his face. Harry needed to be out of my mind. Now.

So I kissed him. Elliot, I mean, not Harry.

Elliot didn´t react fast enough, too surprised or shocked or disgusted or who knows what to do so. But slowly, after a good 20 seconds, he started to move his lips with mines, kissing me back.

That was all we needed.

His hands became desperate as they started to roam over my body and my lips started to kiss him as if my life depended on that. Elliot pushed me against the bar, grabbing my legs and putting them around his waist, and then grabbing me by the butt.

I'm not sure what happened after that, but when I opened my eyes –and actually remember what I saw- I was in a dark room I didn´t know. I didn´t even worried about getting raped. I wanted to forget Harry of my mind, of my body, of everything.

"This is Ryan's room. It's on top of the bar." Elliot said as we fall to the bed.

"Great." I accepted, grinning, kissing him again as he tore apart my top with almost desperation. I got rid of his clothes with the same haste, breaking many buttons of his shirt as I did so, but I was too occupied on him and the way he felt against my body, how his heat went perfectly well with my normally cold skin and the weather outside that come in through a small open window.

"Girl…" He muttered, pushing me to the bed, letting me be on top. It was a new thing for me. Normally, with Harry I would have to fight to get contr-…

_Fuck!_

I ordered myself to stop thinking about Harry, and to manage that, I threw myself with all my might to pleased Elliot. I kissed him like there was no tomorrow, I moved my hips against his and I passed my nails all over his chest. He groaned and moaned like he was supposed to.

But Harry was still in my mind. I couldn´t take him out no matter with how many Elliot-thoughts I filled in with.

He was still there, smiling smirking, frowning… Just being _him_.

The man I lov-… liked. The man I couldn´t easily forget.

"Elliot…" I whispered huskily, leaning toward him as my hand moved up and down his member, slowly, sensually. He nodded his attention to me, with his eyes closed. "A condom…" I finished, kissing him again. Elliot moved his hand blindly to the little table by the bed, opening a drawer and taking a condom. He opened it but I took it off of his hands to put it myself.

Except… I couldn´t even start to put it on.

Harry interrupted.

_Did you miss me all this time we were apart?_

I stopped halfway through it, completely astounded.

Harry's face was stuck in my mind and I couldn´t take it off no matter how much I tried. I was so angry. With him, with me, with Goldilocks.

I couldn't go on with Harry's face in my mind, and his amazing eyes and his kissable lips torturing me.

This was wrong in so many levels… I had fallen _too_ deep, too bad. I wasn´t supposed to, but I was starting to suspect I actually had. Fallen for him, I mean.

I knew this was only going to bring me troubles and pain.

"Something's wrong?" Elliot asked, kissing my shoulder. I was too disgusted with myself so I pushed him away.

"Everything. I'm sorry." I blurted out, getting up from the bed and starting to pick up my clothes. He stared at me completely surprised, watching my every move.

"It's The Guy, right?" He asked, standing up and handing me one of my stockings. I nodded, not being able to look at him. I put my shorts on and my stockings, but I couldn´t manage to put on my top, it was a pretty impossible task for my intoxicated brain. I was growing frustrated, ready to tear it apart and just go naked, when Elliot grabbed my hands and took them away of my body. I looked at him surprised, and glaring a little. "I know I am going too far, but, it's he worth it? And I'm not saying it because I want to sleep with you…. Well, not only."

I smiled at that, as he helped me to put on my stupid top. "I'm not sure if he is." I sighed. "Actually, maybe I'm even sure he isn´t. But I'm not worth it, either. And I think I'm falling for him."

"So, it's a big problem then…" Elliot said as he pushed me to sit in the bed as he tied my boots. "I'm guessing he did something tonight, right?"

"…Yeah…"

"But it wasn´t that big of a deal to make you forget him or hate him so bad to want to hurt him by sleeping with another."

I nodded again. "Or maybe I'm just too stupid."

_Or probably both…_

"Or maybe you're just too stupid. I'll give you my opinion and it's only that. In my experience, when you _can_´t cheat on your partner, it's because there's something deep there. No matter if you're being dating for a year, a week, or just two days."

It seemed so clear when he said it like that. Like it was obvious.

I felt my cheeks heated up.

"Maybe you're right…. It was a stupid fight. Maybe I overreacted and he couldn´t back down just like I couldn´t… Maybe I should talk to him." I muttered more to myself than to Elliot. He, however, listened to me and guided me to the door.

"And if it doesn´t work out…. You know where the bar is." He grinned. We were down the stairs, in the corner next to the bar. Elliot grinned at me, and kissed my cheek. "Good luck, girl."

"Thanks, Billy. You're the best." I said waving at him. Then I turned around and started to run.

I wanted to reach the hotel as soon as possible. I _needed_ to see Harry. I wanted to tell him I was stupid and maybe I was PMSing. I wanted him to know how greatly I cared for him. I wanted to kiss him and say I was sorry. I wanted to tell him _everything_, to be completely honest for once in my life and to show him how much I cared for once.

But it was difficult to know how to go back to the hotel when I wasn´t even sure where the bloody hell I was.

I was just running wildly. But oh so happily.

It was an exhilarating feeling.

So thrilling.

And somehow, after a lot of mindless running, I found my way to the hotel.

It was almost a miracle, actually.

… Or a curse, now that I think about it…

Anyway, I ran into the hotel, desperately, and didn´t even wait for the elevator, too excited to do so.

I ran up the stairs.

I ran to his room.

I needed to see him _now_.

I opened the door without knocking, decided to confront him and… explain. If I had time to think it over, if I had knocked, I would probably chicken out completely and that wasn´t good. I walked inside the suite. He wasn´t sharing it this time and the small living room was empty and dark. I was too preoccupied with my own thoughts to hear anything else than my heart, but I should have.

It would have made my life a lot easier.

But I didn´t stop to listen or to turn on the lights and instead I went directly to Harry's bedroom.

I was never the kind of girly girl to carry with her salts and perfumes just in case and use gloves all the time and those stupid things. I have never fainted before, either.

But right then I thought that _maybe_ that was how it felt to faint.

Feeling like the world was turned upside down too fast for you to follow, that the ground under your feet slowly disintegrated, that the air was too dense to breath in, and too white to see trough it, that the sounds had been drowned out of the world.

Like the world was about to end.

For real.

I was greeted with anything short from a porn movie going on over Harry's bed with him and a girl as the main stars.

It made me feel sick and I wanted to throw up.

My eyes filled with tears as I sadistically, morbidly and masochistically saw how my boyfriend –ex boyfriend? - fucked the living soul out of another girl. A blonde girl with a skinny body and almost no curves at all.

Imogen.

I was completely petrified.

Or at least I was until Harry looked up from Imogen's shoulder.

Right into my eyes.

"Oh, _fuck._" He muttered, stopping his movements instantly. And then everything came to me to hit me full force. The air, the light, the floor, the sound of blankets in contact with naked bodies, Gen's soft moan, Harry's hard breathing, the sound of they having sex still hanging in the air, the _smell_…

I was disgusted and I wanted to throw up.

"What's wrong, babe?" The slut asked with a husky sex voice.

And then I turned around and ran out of the place. _Again._

I was crying.

The first time in my life I _cared_ enough for someone to want to be completely honest and he… broke my heart. Just like that. Like it wasn´t even worth it.

I knew it was a bad idea to give someone, anyone, so much power over me to hurt me like this. I should have listened to my brain when it started yelling at me to…

"Stop!!"

Even when I hated myself for doing so, I did as I was told. I couldn´t help it.

When I reacted, half a second later, it was already too late, and Harry grabbed me by the arm.

"Let go." I demanded, but instead of doing that, he pushed me to the wall. "Let go!" I said louder.

"No, I won´t!" Harry yelled back at me, grabbing my arms and keeping me in place. He only had a sheet around his waist, dangerously sliding down. "Tallulah, I-"

"I don´t want to hear you and I don´t want you to touch me! You disgust me! I don´t want you near me ever again!" I said in hysterics, feeling the hot tears rolling down my cheeks. I hated him. I truly, deeply, madly hated him.

"We broke up!" He exclaimed desperately.

I scoffed. "So that's your excuse? We broke up less than 20 hours ago and poor _poor_ Harry needed comfort." I said with cruel mockery. "You're right, we're no longer a couple. I don´t know what you're doing here, then. _Gennie_'s probably looking for you."

"Argh, Tallulah, that's not what I meant, you know it!"

"No, I don´t! I don´t know what you mean because A) I don´t care, B) it's clear I don´t know _you_ at all, and C) you're sexually harassing me. So let me go before I start to scream." I said with a cold, calm voice that wasn´t really like me. "… You useless motherfucker."

Yeap.

_That's more like it._

"You wanted to break up, Tallulah! Don´t blame me for that!"

"Well, I was angry! I wanted you to say I was acting stupid and that you didn´t care for Gen at all!!" I confessed without really wanting to. I blushed furiously, but there was no way of going back now. I ignored his more than surprise expression and went on with a bitter tone I couldn´t get rid of. "But I was clearly mistaken, right? You care a lot-"

"I don´t care for her, Lula! I… I drank too much and I… I…"

"You _mixed us up_?" I offered. "Yeah, because we're so much alike, starting with my **red** hair! At least tell me the truth, Harry. You already hurt me enough."

"I'm so sorry." He declared, moving closer to me.

"I don´t care."

"But _I_ do, I am. I really am. I'm hating me right now."

"Good, then. That makes it two of us. But don´t worry. I'm sure _Gen_ doesn´t hate you."

"For fucks sake! I don´t care for her!"

"So you fucked a girl you don't even care for?! Geez, Harry, that makes me feel _so_ much better. Leave me alone." I demanded, trying to push him away. He didn´t move.

"I was drunk and I was angry at you and I wanted to hurt you just as much-…" He realized his words weren't the right ones when I pushed him away with all my might and sent him collapsing to the floor after tripping with his sheet. Harry was naked on the middle of an aisle on the hotel and all I could do was cry and think how much of a bastard he was.

"Guess what? You did an awesome job of hurting me." I snapped with hate in my voice. I was about to turned around, but stopped right before that. "You know? I was with this great guy, and I was about to shag him. But I thought of _you_. I thought that maybe there was a small possibility that I had fallen in love with you and that having sex with another man didn't have any sense at all when I could have _you_. Maybe it was better if I stayed with him. Maybe I'll go with him now!"

Harry stood up with a hurt expression in his eyes, naked as he was. "I'm sorry, Tallulah. You're the most important thing I ever had. I'm hating me for loosing you." He stated.

"Good."

"I think I've fallen for you too." Harry announced, using the present tense instead of the past as I had. That made me stop, but not enough to look at him.

"Well, maybe then you'll suffer as much as I am right now. Maybe you'll suffer knowing that the day I'll forgive you will be the day that Manolo Blahnik make a pair of heels especially for me and thinking only of me." I whispered. I'm not really sure _why_ that sounded like a good idea at that time. Maybe I was too much of a Drama Queen to use the cliché phrase '_when hell freezes over_'.

I started to walked away, but when he started to call after me and walked toward me trying to reach me, I couldn´t take it anymore.

And I did the only thing I could do in that situation.

I ran.

I ran away.

I wanted to disappear and run away. And be so far away so I wouldn´t listen to him, see him, or be able to think of him.

… But only far enough to make him miss me.


	22. 21

_First of all, read with an open mind. And before thinking anything TOO DRASTIC, think of them! You'll understand what I mean when you finish reading ;)_

_And.... with this chapter, this story is over. It feels like AGES ago when I thought about a girl named Tallulah and decided to place it in McFly universe -because we all know Just my luck is Jus a cover-up. I want to thank the academy, and every person that read, a little bit more to everyone that reviewed -because i'm selfish like that XD-, and to my two favorite girls of international twitter company s.a. XD -you two know who you are! And if you don´t, I'll give you two clues: mammoths and Mcmpires. If you don´t understand, then you're not either of these amazing girls XP lol-. Oh! and my mom. Yeah, that. lmao._

_Ok, I'll shut up now._

_This chapter goes to dani6531 for being awesome like she is and winning over Finn from Glee on favorite person of Wednesday -and reviewing a lot, that too, but SHUSH XD-, to Aly and to Laura for bearing with my crazy speeches and random mails. XD_

_Love!!_

_XOXO_

_PS: The epilogue of this story is going to be the prologue to its sequel, and it'll be up tomorrow, if I feel like it, or during the weekend. DWYLALWYD's sequel is written up to chapter 12 -I think- and very much plotted over, so I won´t be having months of waiting between each chapter -cross your fingers!_

_Now I'm REALLY out._

_love you!!!!_

_PS2: Ok, I wasn´t being honest. But I promise this is the last thing I'll say. I have a playlist made for this story, and I'll try to update it during the week. If you're curious enough, just PM me or email me or just review me, and I'll send the list._

_XOXO_

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XXI

Life had changed incredibly in the last few weeks or maybe even more than a month. And not only because I was no longer on a tour bus dealing with too much testosterone and no bathroom, but because I hadn´t seen Harry Judd at all since I got back to London that day.

I had met up with Tom since then, I had gone out with Maggie and Danny, and I had even went with Dougie to do some last minute shopping for his sister's birthday presents. But I had been avoiding Harry -and even talking about him- desperately. I wasn´t stupid, I knew I didn´t hate him as much as I wanted to, but it hurt so much just to think about him. Because I knew I was stupid enough to still care for him. And I didn´t want that.

Everyone understood my decision, or at least thought they did, and they left me alone with that. What no one knew was the reason. But no one pressured me about explaining what had happened, why we had broken up and why we didn´t even talk anymore.

Not like he hadn´t tried. For the first two weeks, I had my voice mail box both in my house phone and my mobile completely full with his messages. For the first two weeks he was everywhere he could be without actually being there, because he still had a tour to attend to. After that time, though, he disappeared. And I was scared. I didn´t want him to reappear suddenly and brusquely and shake my world again. And I didn´t want him gone, either. It wasn´t because I hated him. No. I wasn´t going to crush down if I see him and I wasn´t going to collapsed either. No. My reason for not wanting to see him or talk to him was much more complicated.

Or simple, depending on how you put it.

I knew that whenever he appeared and asked his forgiveness, I was going to give in to him.

Because I had found out internally something _way_ too scary to say out loud.

My days became a little dull, every time the same routine consisting on my going to work with the book, attending important meetings with the people involved in it, and avoiding Harry. The rest of my day was just as dull, no matter how many exciting things I could be doing.

That particular day, I was ready to blow up. My laptop seemed to be the first future victim and I was seriously contemplating throwing it through the window, when the doorbell rang. I sighed, saving my work, and I put a tank top on and went down the stairs to the door.

But I wasn´t ready for what I saw.

I opened my eyes widely, not really believing what I had right in front of me.

It wasn´t because I could see Maggie and Danny pulling faces at me from the back of the car when they were supposed to be fair away –Kongo far away, I mean- or because it was an incredibly sunny day for England –the ninth in a row of perfect days, had it changed the weather to the Bahamas' without no one knowing it? - or for the smile of my ancient neighbor that never _ever_ liked me.

It was because of the boy standing right in front of me with one single red rose, a letter and a Manolo Blahnik bag on his hands.

I felt my knees giving up, but it was only a sensation, because I didn´t collapse. But I wouldn´t have been too surprised if I actually fell to the floor. Or fainted, actually. Or even gotten abducted by aliens. That sounded more _reasonable_ in my mind.

"Hey."

His voice turned my attention back to him and I couldn´t help but stare. Believe me when I say that you would have stared too, particularly when he was supposed to be on his way to Atlantis or something weird sounding like that.

"Hi." I said. Or at least I'm pretty sure that's what I _wanted_ to say and _thankfully_ also what I did say. But I wouldn´t be able to be completely sure because I was kinda freaking out inside and my mental Tallulah was running widely around my brain yelling and squealing like a fan girl in front of the Westlife when they were all that.

The silence seemed way too awkward between us, and somehow I was sure _I_ needed to break it. I need to say something fun, witty, a little condescending to mock him for standing there with a smirk on his sexy kissable lips and what looked like the gifts of gods to me. Or maybe to my mentally over-feed with Sex and the City, Twilight, and Desperate Housewives brain.

"Aren´t you supposed to be going out of the country right about… now?" I asked after watching my watch.

_Way to go, stupid._

"Yes, I guess I am. But I'm not."

"Really? I didn´t notice." I muttered. Well, that was a better comeback.

"Darling, why are you acting so much like a total bitch?" Harry Judd in the flesh –but I think you already guessed it- said with his wide smirk and a fake annoyed huff.

I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at him with my eyebrows raised. He was a master at confusion. Did he seriously think I should receive him with a smile, _willingly_?_ "Are_ you seriously asking me that? Because I _can_ answer it, but it'll probably get messy and I don´t want to have to clean your blood off of the floor." I stated angrily. My anger shouldn´t be measured by my inability to properly react in front of him. I was still angry. And annoyed. And a little bit amazed by how good he looked since the last time I've seen him. _God_, he looked _good_. And yummy, and totally edible.

I had been avoiding him since the tour finished. I didn´t want to deal with my decision and I didn´t want to know if he was angry or not with me. I hated myself for that, but there wasn´t much I could do now. That was the second time I rejected him, and everyone knew what he had done the first time. And even when I was still angry with him for doing what he did, I wasn´t able to properly react now that I had him in front of me.

"Ok, ok. I'm the one to blame. I know. Sorry." He said with his smirk still in place. That was something that started to get on my nerves, but then I noticed something. I noticed the way his eyes avoided mine and the way he was changing the weight of his body from one feet to the other and the way his hands were clutching so tightly on the bag and the letter and the rose that his knuckles were white.

_Oh, yeah… The rose. What about that, anyway? Cheap…_

"You already said that, Judd. It didn´t do any good, remember?" I declared, crossing my arms over my chest just to prevent me from hugging him.

"Judd…" He repeated slowly, surprised and maybe a little hurt? I pretended I didn´t notice that, though. "Wow, that's cold… This is how you felt when I was angry at you?"

"Probably not. I'm not out there to get you and ruin your life like you did." I snapped.

"Yeah, I was a bastard. Sorry for that too." Harry said. I had forgiven him for that the same minute I had told him so, but it was something that apparently messed with his conscience, so I aimed to that.

To hurt him.

I wanted to hurt him just a little so I wouldn´t feel like a stupid wife going back to the husband that almost hit her to death.

So I wouldn´t feel guilty with the female race when I kissed him back.

"You already said that too. What are you doing here, anyway?"

"I realized I ruined everything." He stated just like that. I opened my eyes as big as they could, but he interrupted me before I could replied anything. "Wait, please let me finish. I'm here to show you that I really listened to you and that I'm really sorry and that I… Well, that I love you." Harry blurted out.

And that was enough to make me shut up completely. Even if the apocalypse knock on my door, I would probably still be speechless and freeze on my place.

I know he had said he _thought_ he had fallen in love with me, but there was a long way between _that_ and actually accepting he love me.

Harry handed me the letter and I accepted it in a daze. Harry loved me? Harry fucking Judd bloody fucking _loved_ me? Me, Tallulah McCoy? That was such an incredible realization that I wasn´t able to even move.

Or heard the beginning of his speech, for that matter.

"… and I know it. Of course I know it! But that's in case you don´t hear me now, so please don't tear it to pieces. Ok?" He asked. I blinked, not really comprehending what the hell was he talking about. But I wasn´t nowhere near asking him what he meant. Not at all. Harry sighed, feeling frustrated. "Ok, I guess I deserve this."

"You guess?" I asked with cold, cruel mockery. My reactions to his words were most of the time impulsive and not really thought over.

Harry sighed. "Ok, I deserve that too." He leaned toward me, grabbing the letter from my hands, and then he leaved it inside my letter-box. "So you won´t be able to break it right now." Harry said, winking at me. "Ok, now. I remember one time on the bus, after the fight with James. You hit me in the arm –and that left a bruise, just so you know- and you told me that I was stupid. We started to talk about how stupid I was and you told me in the end that _that_ was not way to sweep a girl out of her feet, if I hadn´t seen Desperate Housewives at all. Well, I hadn´t at that time, but now I have. So, here." He continued, offering me the rose. That surprised me even more than whatever he had said before. I was too stunned.

"It's a rare man that understands the value of a perfect rose, right? And I'm pretty sure you'll agree I'm rare enough, even if maybe it's not for the good reasons."

"Harry, I…" I tried to say, but he stopped me with a shake of his hand. It was a good thing, because I didn´t have the slightest idea of what I was going to say after that.

"No, please. If you're going to listen to me, then let me finish. It's not the same if you hear it with intervals." He declared with a sheepish smile. I nodded slowly, taking the rose in my hands. This was probably a dream, I decided right then, because there was no way that Harry Judd could be saying that. "And here." He added, handing me the Manolo bag. I didn´t want to rush in and looked inside afraid of looking too much like a shallow girl. "You said that the day you would forgive me was going to be the day Manolo Blahnik made a pair of heels specially for you and thinking only of you, and…"

_Screw shallowness._

I submerged my free hand inside the bag while the other held the rose and the bag open, and took the typical Manolo's shoebox out of it. And then I couldn´t help but act like a little girl, falling to the floor and admiring the box. I was happy admiring _only_ the box, if it actually was a pair of heels just for me, then I could probably die. Narciso and Manolo in just one year? It beat Bridget Jones' ass any day.

Somewhere above me, Harry chuckled. "Open it, Lula." He said with a tender voice.

So I did. I couldn´t deny it to him. Not with that voice of his.

As soon as my eyes stopped over the amazing purple heels, I was sure that it wasn´t a dream because I wasn´t creative enough to dream such a perfect piece of perfection. I fell in love with the shoes the second I saw them; they were really made just for me, I could see it. The heels were everything I could have ever wished for in a pair of heels. I loved them almost as much as I loved the man standing right…

_Oh, fuck_.

I loved him.

I _love_ Harry.

I forgot the shoes when I came to that realization, because suddenly, the heels, no matter how awesome they were, weren´t enough to torn me away from him.

"How…?"

He shrugged. "I have friends in incredibly good places."

"They're great, Harry. I love you." I blurted out.

"Oh, well, I thought that they could be _maybe _enough to…………… Wait. What did you just say?" Harry was completely shocked.

I smiled widely. "I love you." I repeated. It felt good to say it out loud when I had been fighting it down for weeks. "I love you, Harry Judd. I really do."

"Wow. You love me." He whispered, and then, he grabbed me by my hips, crashed me to his body, and kissed the living soul out of me. Of course I kissed him back, too engrossed with the happiness to _think_ properly.

… Or to think at all.

It took my two hours to get back to Earth. Two hours of just kissing and hugging him and laughing about stupid things and feeling just perfectly numb with anything that wasn´t happiness. But when I did, I _crashed_. It was almost too painful.

…....... Ok, and sex, too.

"Harry…" I said, my tone probably changing so much he looked up at me with suspicious eyes.

"…What? What are you going to say? I'm not going to like it."

I sighed. I counted to ten. I played with my hair and the hem of his shirt that I had on. And then I couldn´t delay it anymore. "This doesn´t change much, Harry." I murmured, falling on my back in the floor. He was sitting right next to me, and he imitated me in silence.

"I was waiting for you to say it." Harry stated, but he didn´t say anything else. I wasn´t able to push the matter any further, so I just kept my mouth shut. "You forgive me. You love me. And it's clear that I love you. But it doesn´t change the fact that… you still think that been my girlfriend was a mistake."

I sighed. "I don´t think that b-"

"Don´t you dare lying to me, Tallulah. I know you like the palm of my hand. You think that."

"Fine. I do. But I also love you. I just can´t…"

"_Be_ with me."

"Exactly."

"Fine." He muttered.

Harry stood up from the floor and started to get dressed. I watched him move around my room wondering how bad it could be to just accept it but knowing that I wasn´t able to do that. Not now. Probably not _ever_.

"It's not fine…" I murmured pouting at him as I sat back. He stopped in the middle of putting his jeans on as if he was frustrated.

"Of course it's not! But what do you want me to do, Tallulah? Please, tell me, and I swear I'll do it!" Of course, I couldn´t say anything, and he knew it. "There's nothing I can say or do to make you change your mind so there's no reason for me to stay here any longer."

"Fuck, Harry, you have such a nerve!" I exclaimed annoyed. He was blaming me for everything and he was the one who missed his opportunities! "You're going for a month to a tour! When you want to get back a girl, that's probably one of the worst back scenarios you could ever have!"

"I knew I was going to regret coming here!!" He snapped. I stood up when I heard that.

"Regret it? Go fuck a bimbo, Harry. Go fuck a stupid slut that would hopefully get you an STD!" I yelled. This was one of those many moments when I wondered what was wrong with him and me. Because there was clearly something wrong with us. Not too long ago, we were _loving_ each other and right now, we were wishing the death to the other! And he still didn´t see why we would never be right for each other?

"Tallulah, for fuck's sake. I came here to humiliate me in front of you. It would have been easier if you just threw me out when you saw me." Harry stated, grabbing my arm and kissing me one more forceful time.

"I love you." I repeated. "But sometimes, love isn´t enough."

"I know. I _know_. I don´t understand you and I'm hating you right now, but I k_now_. And that's why both of us are acting like we are. Because it fucking _hurts_." He declared. He was right.

Harry sighed, dropped his things again and hugged me closely to his chest. "Mark my word here, Tallulah. Someday, we are going to be a couple. A couple cuter than Danny and Maggie and more committed than Gio and Tom. Someday we're going to _make it_. And I'm going to be there ready with an '_I told you so_'."

"I'm hoping you're right. But don´t you dare to ignore me after this because I'm _marking your words_. Don´t go all diva on me. I still want you close." I demanded, burring my head on his chest. This felt like goodbye, and there was nothing that I hated more than goodbyes.

"So close people are going to think we are one." Harry said and I could heard his smirk on his words. We stayed like that for a while, just hugging the other like the world depended on that, until Harry shook his head and moved an inch away, still holding me in his arms. "I have to go. Maggie and Danny are probably freezing the hell out and I have a plane to catch."

I nodded, but I didn´t wanted to let go. "Yeah. But I'm keeping your shirt."

"And I'm keeping your thong." He grinned, winking at me as he balanced my purple thong, the one that had been recently washed when he came in, in front of me with two fingers. Then he stuffed it in his pocket. "I'll see you soon, ok?" He said with a look that clearly stated _I'm not going to say those dreadful words so don´t you dare to say them either_.

I nodded. _I understand_. "Yeah. Soon." I remarked. He linked my arm with his, intertwining his fingers with mine as we walked to my door.

"I'll phone too."

"That's good."

"And I'll be at your door as soon as I can."

"Ok." I grinned, kissing him one last time and then watching him walked down the stairs.

_Even better_.

**THE END**


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